Studying for exams was taking everything out of me. Having missed an entire month of school after the very unfortunate events during spring break, I was behind in all of my subjects. Yes surely, I had received Jerry’s notes every week. But let’s face it: I wasn’t really in the mood for studying at the time.

Getting back into school had been a difficult experience, considering everyone was constantly reminding me of what had happened. Then Matt dropping out… The past two months I had had enormous difficulties of keeping up, and the atmosphere wasn’t what you’d call stimulating, since everyone kept telling me it was okay to retake my classes next year.

“It must be difficult for an omega like you…” most sentences started like that. It made me wish I wasn’t an omega.

I hadn’t felt that before. I knew it was harder being an omega. We were looked upon as portable wombs. Less developed physically as well as in the mental department. Most of us didn’t go to college, got kids at a young age and spent their lives either not working at all, or working in childcare, care for the elderly, or beauty-related work.

My major being architecture, I was the only omega in most of my classes, and no-one had been expecting me to keep up in the first place. And after what had happened, my teachers seemed to be surprised I was even trying.

One of them even said: “It’s okay to retake classes, you’ll have more time in college to find yourself a nice alpha…”

I had been so insulted I didn’t even know what to say to that. As if I had joined college only to find a suitable mate.

Then again, I knew there were omegas who went to college for exactly that purpose. My friend Kelly was one of them. She was majoring in English literature, but she’d probably drop out the second she bagged Isabella: her target alpha. Too bad for Kelly, Isabella didn’t even acknowledge her existence.

My other omega friend: Kelly’s best buddy Simone, was also scouting alphas. The big difference between the two was that Simone actually was planning on finishing her education and becoming a translator. She was an exchange student from France hoping to get a degree in English and attaining a good  husband in the process, so she could stay in the country.

Alright, so maybe my teacher’s suggestion hadn’t been based solely on prejudice. But I was still my own man, and I was going to be an architect. Especially considering Matt had always joked at me that even before I graduated, I would get pregnant with his kid and forget about a career.

I’ll show him…

I sat down next to Jerry in the cafeteria and sighed.

“Still struggling with math?” he asked, turning his gaze up from his food.

I sighed again. “Yes. Math… All the math classes, actually. Especially trigonometry. I’m flunking construction teach as well and I’m not sure about architectural history. Seems like I’m only doing okay in English and design nowadays…”

“Well, maybe…”

I knew what he was going to say, and I wouldn’t let him.

“Not you too Jerry! Don’t you dare say it’s okay to fail some classes, because I’m just a stupid omega!”

Jerry put a hand on my arm and looked at me wide-eyed. “Hey! I was going to say I could tutor you, but if you’re going to be wallowing in self-pity again, I guess I won’t.”

“I don’t wallow in self-pity!” I spat.

“Dude! You sat at home crying for an entire month! And you’re still whining now. So are you going to fix that, or are you going to keep on pretending the world has ended? It’s just a guy, David. You’re nineteen years old, get over it.”

It stung. How dare he call Matt ‘just a guy’. How dare he belittle my situation. My world HAD ended. Not just because of Matt, but because I was claimed now, as well. Forever tainted. But Jerry didn’t know that. And even if he did, he couldn’t possibly understand any of it, being a beta and all… Lucky fucker.

I glared at him.

The only effect that it had was that he drew up one big bushy eyebrow. It was like a black caterpillar climbing over the thick rim of his glasses.

“I’m still waiting for the moment where your eyebrows turn into butterflies and fly off your face.” I said. And Jerry burst out in laughter.

“Yeah well, I’m still waiting for you to develop facial hair.”

“Ain’t gonna happen man, didn’t they teach you about omegas in elementary school?” I chuckled.

“Oh dude, that’s so sad. You’ll never be able to grow such a superb beard like mine. No wonder you’re so depressed all the time!”

“You call that abomination superb?!” I retorted.

“Hell yeah, it is!” He sat up proudly, running his hand over his cheek like he was petting a cat.

“Oh, that’s why you get all that pussy!” I said, turning my eyes up as if I had an eureka moment, were it not for the sarcasm coating my words. Jerry hadn’t gotten laid since we entered college and, judging by the way he looked when we first met, I assumed he hadn’t before either.

“The bitches will come around, I assure you.” He said, smiling. “Now cut the crap, do you need a tutor or what?”

“Si señor Martinez. Muchos gracias señor Martinez.”

“Now what have we got here? Is that David smiling?” the voice of Sally rang out though the cafeteria.

“Hi Sal!” we answered in unison. “We were just discussing the fact you have more facial hair than David.” Jerry quipped.

“Goddamnit, and I only waxed my moustache yesterday.” She laughed. It made no sense of course. Sally was a nice-looking beta girl without any abnormalities to her face. But about a year ago she had had a dream that she woke up with a handlebar moustache that kept growing back, and she had made the huge mistake of telling us. We had been teasing her about it ever since.

“Why are you alone? Did your better half ditch you again?” Jerry asked.

“Yeah, he’s trying to find a new partner for his IT-development assignment. Because well…” She stopped mid-sentence and looked awkwardly at me. I knew it was because Liam used to be Matt’s partner. It stung a bit, but before my smile could fade completely, Sal lifted her shirt and exclaimed: “look I’ve got a new bra!”

I was completely puzzled. Jerry dropped his fork.

Behind us there was the sound of someone falling from his chair.

The absurdity of the situation sent a wave of laughter through me, and soon the three of us were sitting there, laughing our asses of.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” I wheezed.

“Yeah, well. Someone’s got to keep the spirits up around here. So tell me: what awesome-ass party are you gonna throw for your birthday David?”

My birthday. Right. I had completely forgotten about that.

“Oh yeah, and what do you want for a gift? Or should I consider my wisdom your gift?” Jerry said.

I didn’t really have an answer, so I just let random words exit my mouth. “Yeah, I’m happy with the tutoring. This year I’d like my birthday gift to be passing all my classes. So if the two of you could lend me a hand, I’m happy as can be. I haven’t thought of a party yet. I honestly have no idea who’d come if I threw something big like last year, you know… Because of M-“

Sally interrupted my down spiralling whirlpool of words: “No moping! We’ll throw you a party. I will get Liam’s fraternity on board and then…”

“OR… we could just hang out with your real friends and do something stupid, like an escape room, bowling, karaoke…” Jerry interjected.

“Ooh! Laser tag!” I said before I realised that was truly no-one’s thing.

“Sure, we could do that.” Sally said, a little more careful.

“Do you want Simone and Kelly to come?” Jerry asked.

“Yeah… Um, bowling and karaoke then?” The two omegas certainly would be going to do anything as exciting as laser tag. And it would feel good to have all my friends present. Well, all my friends except Chris. I couldn’t invite Chris. That’d be hella awkward.

Then again, I could ask Chris to play laser tag... Fuck, what am I thinking? What self-respecting business attorney would ever play laser tag with a kid like me?

SHE would. A voice deep withing me said. And I smiled because it was true.

“Ah, see you’re smiling again! Good to have you back David!” Sally’s loud voice tore me from my thoughts. “Friday the 8th, right? Bowling and karaoke it is.”

“Yeah, but before that I’ll have to focus on school. Professor Martinez here already promised me to help with all of my math classes and construction tech. Can you help me get back on track with my Architectural history?”

Jerry actually hadn’t agreed to shit yet, but we had a lot of the same classes since he majored in civil engineering. And being the nerd he was, he was top of the class in every last one of them. Sally was an art major though, but she did take Architectural history with me. I had no idea how she was doing in that class, but probably anyone was doing better than me.

Sally took the lead in building a study schedule for me. Jerry was complaining it would take up a lot of his time. But she won him over by promising him that if he helped me pass all my exams, she’d get him into the end-of-year sorority party. He tried to keep a stiff upper lip about it, but when she said she could spread a rumour that he was surprisingly good in bed, he immediately caved. Thank god for desperate virgins.

in the following weeks, we stuck to our vigorous schedule like glue. I was determined, Sally was determined, and Jerry… Well Jerry was admittedly a little distracted. Okay, very distracted. But who could blame him when Sally told him the sorority house had a pool.

I swear, if I stopped pulling his head out of his crotch, he’d start drawing nipples on sinus curves.

“Jerry, you’re supposed to be tutoring me, not the other way around.”

“But can we? Like, just for ten minutes?”

“Can we what?”

“Can you tutor me on something?”

“Like what? You’re literally better than I am at every subject.”

“Well…” he started blushing fiercely, which was the oddest thing I had ever seen. “Can you teach me how to um… hit on someone?”

“How would I know? I dated Matt since I was a kid! But come on, surely you’ve made out with a girl before? How did you go about it then?”

“…”

“Oh shit you haven’t.” I raised my eyebrows. Jerry was a nerd, but it wasn’t as if he was THAT unattractive, even with the scruffy beard.

“No…”

“Really? You’re 20 years old and you have NEVER kissed a girl before?” I realised I wasn’t being very considerate, but in my defence, I was honestly surprised.

“Tsk. You’re almost 20 and YOU’ve never kissed a GIRL before either.”

“I so have.” I retorted.

“You SO did not! You’re gay!”

“I kissed a girl and I liked it!” I started singing, and moving my arms in a dancing motion. It was only meant to be a joke, but as I remembered the taste of Chris’ lips I couldn’t help but feel my chest swell. When I stopped singing, I had a completely dorky smile on my face and Jerry was staring at me as if I had just caught fire.

“Who?”

I immediately realised my mistake and started to double back out of it, claiming it was just a joke, but Jerry wasn’t buying it.

“No way in hell you were lying with that look on your face. David, spit it out. Who is she and how long have you been crushing on her like that?”

“I’m… I’m not… Okay, I did kiss a girl, but it was super long ago, like in eight grade.” I lied.

“Wow, and you’re still in love with her now? I’m starting to feel sorry for Matt.” He said, sarcasm coating his words. He stared me down with a look that said: nice try kiddo, now spill the beans.

“I can’t tell you.” I finally said.

“OH GOD IT’S SAL! YOU KISSED SAL! OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH SAL! OUR SAL! LIAM’S SAL! OH MY GOD HE’S GONNA KILL YOU! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU… SAL! FOR FUCK’S SAKE! WHY DIDN’T I NOTICE? HOLY SHIT THIS IS GOING TO TEAR OUR ENTIRE GROUP APART!” He started freaking out, shouting and pacing up and down my room like a zoo animal on steroids. I tried to calm him down, but my words didn’t get through to him, so I finally got up and caught his arm.

“HEY! It’s not Sal! NOT Sal, you hear me? Stop freaking out!”

“Then who is it?”

I sighed. “Promise you won’t tell anyone about this.”

“Well, if it’s Sal…”

“Stop it. It’s not Sal. Now promise.”

Jerry paused to look at me. I gave him my most pleading look. “Okay I promise.” He finally gave in, albeit with extreme reluctance. I let myself fall down on my bed, closed my eyes, and told him everything.

“Damn dude, that’s harsh. You were an idiot to get yourself in that situation though.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” I grumbled.

“So you two are technically mates, but you’ve decided you’ll just be friends because she’s married.”

“And because I'm still heartbroken about Matt and because I don’t like her in that way. I’m gay, remember.” I added. 

“No, you do. And no, you’re not.” Jerry smirked.

“You literally said so yourself less than five minutes ago.”

“Yeah, but that was before I knew you totally have the hots for a thirty-year-old woman.”

“She’s twenty-nine!” I objected loudly, which only made Jerry’s grin spread up to his ears. “See, not gay.”

I scoffed at him and crossed my arms in defiance. I shouldn’t have told him. It did feel good to get that secret off my chest, but now I was stuck with a realisation that I didn’t have the heart to face. I felt horrible.

“Can we focus on trigonometry again?” I asked after a silence that was way too long and uncomfortable.

“Sure.” Jerry said. He gave me a pat on the shoulder and immediately got back to explaining chapter 8.

We studied for what seemed like ages. But Jerry was a good tutor, and I learned a lot. He didn’t bring the subject up again either. Not then, and not in our later sessions. He also kept his promise not to tell anyone else, for which I was immensely grateful. 

I vowed to be his wingman from now on. He surely deserved one.