I wake up long before Benjamin, the sun is glaring through the window as it often is. I fling the back doors open to let Alton do his business. I do mine as well. Alton runs wild for a few minutes and I throw a stick for him.
The sun has made its way fully over the mountains by the time Benjamin wakes up. “Morning.” I say as he crawls out of the truck, his hair is flattened and standing up on one side, I try my best to control my laughter.
“What?” He asks, running a hand over his face.
“You should see your hair.”
“You should see yours, dickface.” He huffs and stretches. “Where do I piss?”
“Wherever you want.”
He wanders down the mountain out of my view and returns a few moments later, running up the mountain, an excited look on his face, still zipping up. “I saw a coyote!” He yells with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.
“You don’t get coyotes in Tennessee?” I heard them howling last night, it’s not surprising he saw one.
“We do, but it was only a few feet from me. I almost didn’t notice it.”
I laugh. “Coyotes don’t seem to be all that scared of us, we see them all the time.”
“My grandpa used to go out and hunt them.” Benjamin says.
“Yeah, mine does too.” Alton barks at me, and I realize I’ve been hogging his stick the whole time, I chuck it across the desert.
“Aren’t you scared he’s going to run away, or get attacked by coyotes?” Benjamin asks, dangling his legs over the bumper.
“Nah, he’s never run off before. And a coyote wouldn’t attack him, they aren’t stupid.” I toss his stick again, then I start walking along the ridge of the canyon. “Ready?” I ask him.
“For what?”
“We’re going on a hike.”
“We hiked yesterday.”
“Yes, we’re going somewhere different today.”
He sighs. “What else is there to see?”
“Next weekend, I’ll take you out to the old garnet mines, now that’s a sight.”
He groans. “A bunch of holes in the ground, wow.”
“Staple of Nevada, but it’s not like the other mines. It’s different.”
“Yeah, yeah. I get it.”
I laugh. We keep hiking along the edge of the cliff. I go to the usual place where I swim, but it’s finally dried out for the summer. So much for the bathing suits. We continue along the ridge, but at some point I decide to turn and start hiking up a different mountain. One of my favorite things to do is scale rocky cliffs, Nevada is good for that kind of thing. I don’t like doing it by myself, though. If I were to fall, I’d die. If somebody else was there, they could go for help.
Of course, Benjamin is much more likely to fall than me. I’d probably be the one helping him. “Where are we going?” He asks, already out of breath in the heat.
“Up there.” I point towards the rocky ridges on top of the mountain.
“Dude.” He says. “I will die trying to climb that.”
“That’s why I’m here.” I smirk at him, he gives me a look, one that says he is not in the mood for my bullshit and he is not in the mood for a perilous climb that will most certainly end in his demise.
I start to laugh as he starts to whine. “Leo, I don’t want to die today, seriously. Do I need to climb that to find self-actualization or some shit?”
“Nope, you just need to grow a pair and climb on the rocks.” I look at them. “They aren’t that bad, they aren’t even steep.”
“They look pretty steep to me.”
“I’ll take you to Squaw sometime, then you’ll see steep.”
He groans again but he goes along with me. We make it to the cliff and take a break, Alton jumps on the rocks without hesitation. After a few minutes I follow suit, you have to step confidently, make sure your footing is secure. Handholds are good, and sometimes necessary, but it’s possible without for most of the climb.
Benjamin has no idea about any of this. He keeps stepping in gravel and grabbing loose roots and unstable rocks. I become genuinely scared this might kill him. He soldiers through, though. We reach the top of the ridge and I stand up, the wind blasts my face, I can see the whole desert from up here.
It’s an incredible view. Benjamin is holding onto a rock for dear life. I grab his wrist and help hoist him up next to me. I try to let go of him but he grabs my arm, fingers dig into my flesh, face pale and eyes wide.
“Scared?” I ask.
“Yes, Leo, I am terrified.” He says. “I almost died getting up here.”
“Now you have to appreciate the view, or you’ll have done all that hard work for nothing.” He looks me in the eye for a moment, like he can’t believe what I just said. Then he looks out at the desert. “Bet you don’t get this kind of view in Tennessee.”
“No, we don’t.” He says, breathless from fear and from the climb. “How do we get down?”
“Same way we got up.”
“Oh my god.” I laugh. I laugh so hard I have to sit down because I’m scared I’m going to fall off the cliff. Benjamin sits down next to me and Alton joins us for a couple minutes. “Are you serious?”
“Well, we certainly can’t just take the stairs.” I go down first, after Alton of course, but he’s already made his way around the whole damn mountain a few times. I become Benjamin’s support system, I tell him where to put his feet and how and where to use handholds. I warn him when there’s gravel or loose rocks.
Surprisingly, he makes it down without hurting himself.
“I’m never doing that again.” He says as we walk to the truck, Alton has returned and is walking in beat with me as we head back.
“Squaw is beautiful, though. You have to climb it with me.”
“Never again, Leo.” But he’s laughing. “I’m starving.” He says later and I realize I did not feed him last night. I fed Alton but Benjamin and I didn’t eat anything.
“Me too.” We reach the truck and eat three peanut butter and jellies each. Then we go home and the spell is broken. We’re back to being awkward strangers. Or maybe that’s me making things awkward as I often do.
“Where’s your place?” I ask, figuring I can just drop him off at home.
“Oak Drive, it’s out of the way. I can walk.”
I shake my head. “I’m not going to make you walk, it’s on the opposite side of town.”
“Thanks.”
I decide it’s time for some music, I tell him to choose a CD, he chooses Disturbed, which I’m totally in the mood for. Of course, I’m always in the mood for Disturbed.
I drop him off on Oak Drive and head home, Alton jumps into the front seat and makes himself comfortable. I feel more at ease within seconds. I decide not to go home just yet. I change the CD to Sum 41 and cruise around town. Punk rock isn’t usually my favorite genre, but sometimes it just feels right. Why it feels so right at this particular moment, I’ll never know.
I drive around for an hour or so before actually going home. I say hi to Mom as I walk in, she doesn’t know I was with somebody, she assumes it was a typical trip to the desert. No, Mom. Things were different this time.
I don’t know how to feel about Benjamin, he’s a good guy. He likes animals, he’s very compliant, he likes the stars, and I don’t think he hates the desert anymore. I also know we like the same kind of music, he likes to read, and he can’t take a hint. That is the extent of my knowledge of him, is that enough information to accurately pass judgement? If he died right now, would I know if he went to Heaven or Hell?
No, I don’t even know if he’s religious. I’m not even religious. What kind of a question is that to ask myself when I don’t even believe in God? Or in life after death.
Maybe I’m reading too far into this.
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