soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

one day me and my i guess x- gf, got into a fight the other day and well.... it wasn't good.

so was still crushing on her pretty hard still and this was like 4 days ago ok, and well (it gets crazy) i had this urgent feel to kill anyone around her, or maybe even her. i know sounds dark, well she said she didn't want to talk to me cuz i was a psychopath and then why cant i just be me, a f**king insane person", and to be honest, it felt kinda good, cuz I've held that in for years, then we stop talking for the night, then i had a doctors appointment and found out psychoticness run on my mom said, both parents, and my dad side, both parents, so we have it like 99% and also i have ADHD and ADD so it makes my urgent for murder stronger and other things like hurting my self to make other people better, setting things on fire (which is what i do) stabbing things, hurting people, and my number on, the feeling for revenge which im pretty good at i do say so my self. so yeah..................... i dont know what to do