Chapter 4
I bring my great sword down on one of the lesser rock demons, watching as it crumbles into rocks beneath my blade. I click my tongue in annoyance as I observe the rocks piece themselves back together again.
That’s the annoying thing with lesser rock demons; they do like poop damage and that’s it, but they’re really fucking annoying. Like a shitting fly that just buzzes around doing nothing other than licking its own eyeballs and pissing you off.
Behind me I recognise the sound of a spell being cast and I expertly dive out of the way as Rebecca sends a wave of frigid air forwards, encasing the lesser rock demons and freezing them in place. I lurch forwards, bringing my sword down on the centre of the demons’ rock clusters, splintering their cores and watching in smug satisfaction as they turn to dust.
I give Rebecca a quick thumbs up, before turning back to deal with the cave gremlin. It makes some kind of horrid noise which resembles me in the mornings when my alarm goes off, and then it’s howling in pain as Rebecca blasts it with fire.
I change my weapon to my hammer thing; it’s pretty heavy so makes me move more slowly which is a pain in the ass, but this thing is immobilised for a bit anyway, and this weapon does nutty damage, like seriously. It’s awesome. As soon as Rebecca catches on to what I’m planning, she directs her next fire attack at me.
Catching the attack with my hammer of flames, it bursts into cool blue fire which surrounds the top of it. I smash the weapon down into the cave gremlin’s face, making the monster a nice visual representation of how I feel inside when someone says ‘gay ppl r gross’.
Pulling my hammer off the beast’s face, I whack it a couple more times, before changing weapons at the last minute. Rebecca keeps it immobilised for me the entire time - she’s so cool! And then I’m ready to deliver the final blow on the enemy.
I picture perfectly the face of this homophobe I once knew, and then I whack the cave gremlin over the head with a wooden chair I stole from a tavern. After another evil screech, the monster dissipates into black dust and ashes or whatever the fuck that stuff is, and Rebecca bounds over to me to give me a high five.
“N-nice! I liked the chair move; very cathartic,” she says appraisingly, and I drape an arm over her shoulders. “Oh yeah, I was totally imagining the gremlin was a homophobe. Very satisfying.” She giggles brightly, and I absent-mindedly wish I could hear Beck’s real laugh again.
“H-have people been very homophobic to you in the past?” She asks nonchalantly, and I glance over at my wife as we continue down the dungeon. “I never said I was gay did I? But yeah actually, at my uni there’s like a ton of homophobes.”
She nods, her expression serious. “I suppose you d-didn’t, but my gaydar was pinging when I saw y-you in the café,” she says contemplatively, and I smile slightly. “Oh yeah? Well, you’re right. What about you though? I mean, I know you supposedly have feelings for me, but we didn’t really talk about this I guess,” I muse, and Rebecca blushes.
“O-oh, I’m um, I’m glad you like boys. Men. Males.”
I stare at her for a moment, before bursting out laughing. Beck is seriously so awkward aw! Adorable.
“I um, I’m b-bi,” Beck says, and I smile. “I can see that. You’d look great with a girl hanging off your arm, or a dude. You’re pretty tall though, what’s your height?” I ask casually, thinking about how Beck’s height was dream dude-height for me to date in my opinion.
This is just for future reference, you know, shop around a bit, get a feel for what I like. Rebecca continues to blush, although the smile on her face is clear. “Um, I’m 6’3. What about- how um, h-how tall are you?” He asks, and I fiddle with my mouse cable connecting it to my computer.
“Uh, 5’9? I think, I haven’t measured myself in a while but I also never grow anymore, so. A safe estimation.” Rebecca nods, her mouth forming a little ‘oh’ as she muses out loud.
“That’s n-nice. We have a c-cute height comparison,” Beck says, his character blushing profusely, and no doubt he’s blushing too. I mean, even I am a bit, and I’m not him: Mr Blushy McGee.
“You think so? I’ll file that away for deliberation later,” I say honestly, although I’m deliberating on it now too. “U-um, where should we go now?” Rebecca asks, and I turn back to look at the new mess of tunnels ahead of us.
“Hm. This one looks considerably more evil, so it’s probably safer. We just have to get to the centre and bring back the stone monster’s crystal heart, I’m pretty sure.”
Rebecca nods, following me down the tunnel into the next part of the dungeon. The rest of the mission is fairly simple; the boss fight at the end is a little tricky, but neither of us even goes down to half health. We successfully get the crystal heart, and now we only have to bring it back to the merchant who wants it.
Surprisingly, this is the trickiest bit of the mission. I mean, in this game, there are bandits on the road who try to steal from you, and they actually can steal the crystal heart, which is fucking annoying. We can’t just teleport back to the city either, as it’ll make us lose our progress.
In the end, we just have to walk all the way back to the city the good old-fashioned way. Rebecca protects the crystal heart whilst I focus on fighting off the bandits. It’s pretty annoying, but we make it back with the loot, and exchange it with the merchant for the actual reward.
We both get a bunch of XP, as well as some gold pieces and then other shit like healing potions and whatnot. The coolest thing is an enchanted ring, which we decide Rebecca should have; as it increases the user’s mana, so they can use spells more frequently.
Rebecca already has nutty mana, like she’s a fucking tank in that respect, and could lob spells at an enemy all day, but it’s not like I can use the ring, and it never hurts to be super overpowered, so.
“It was fun playing with you as always, Rebecca. I won’t be on tomorrow because of my assignment, but I’ll message you when I’m around,” I say, standing awkwardly as I get ready to log off.
Rebecca smiles, nodding. “I-it was, and I hope the assignment g-goes well. See you later!” And then we both log off, and suddenly I’m just a guy in his room, and holy fuck when did it get to be 2am holy shit I have a lecture at 9 tomorrow and I haven’t done the shitting prep work someone kill me now!!!!!!!
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