Dear Ace People,

It may feel like you get shot down every day. It may feel like every time you come out to someone, you get rejected. It's just a phase, or you just haven't met the right person yet and how could you know if you've never tried. It might wear you down until you're stuck, looking into the mirror, questioning your identity again.

But the people who doubt you are wrong. Coming out is a crazy big step and they might not appreciate how scary it is. Maybe they do understand and just don't believe that you could have figured it out and come to this. I have the greatest faith in you, that your questioning has lead you here, and maybe it isn't the ultimate conclusion to the story of your sexuality, but maybe it is. And if it's how you feel then who are they to say it's not right?

I remind you, of course, that you don't have to come out. It's a choice and it's completely up to you. If you do choose to come out, you have the privilege and honour of choosing the people who you trust. You are not obligated to tell anyone you don't want to tell, no matter who they are to you. Do not accept accusations that you didn't tell people soon enough, you made decisions for yourself. You are valid, you are unique and you are loved.

Asexuality is a legitimate sexuality, in fact an estimated 1% of the population of North America (and therefore the world probably) are just like you. Well, perhaps not just like you, you're unique. And your experience of asexuality is unique, too. But knowing that there are many people who relate to you, who face these same problems and overcome them every day is a little bit heartening.

I'm sure, if you're reading this, then you already know how big and diverse a place this online universe is. Just a simple reminder, there are people like you out there, and maybe they're reaching out, maybe they're doubting themselves. Maybe they need a reminder that they are valid. You don't always have to seek these people out, sometimes they'll find you. And when they do, make sure you greet them with a smile, something to let them know they're not alone.

In conclusion, ace people, you are not broken. There are many kinds of love and you have so much love to give. Sometimes things go wrong and you need a little support, someone who understands. The internet has done wonders for bringing people together, if you look for those like you, you'll find them.

Best wishes,

Phoenix