We fall asleep on the roof and wake each other in the middle of the night before moving into the truck. We leave early because I don’t feel like being out there anymore, I drop him off at his house and go home. Mom asks where I went.
“The garnet mines.” I say.
“I told you I don’t like it when you go out there alone, what if you fell?”
I shrug, I don’t feel like telling her about Benjamin. She’d make a big deal out of it. I can make friends, Mom.
I go straight to my room and Alton acts like he hasn’t seen me in years. I hug him, and love on him, and tell him I made a friend because, unlike Mom, he won’t judge me or care. It doesn’t bother him as long as he still gets most of my attention. He always will, of course.
I put in the Beastie Boys and lay in bed for a while. I take a nap, wake up, change the CD and stare at my ceiling. There’s always been this weird brown smudge up there. I have no idea how it got there but I can’t remember staring at the roof without it. It’s become a very important part of my room, it wouldn’t be the same without that smudge.
I sigh, what a weird thought.
Mom calls me for dinner. Shit on the shingles, I hate shit on the shingles. Tuna should not be warm, and peas don’t go with anything. I eat it anyway, though, I’m starving.
“Did you have fun at the mines?” Dad asks.
“Yeah.”
“Find anything good?”
I think about the chunk I gave to Benjamin. “Nope.”
He shrugs and keeps eating. I finish dinner, then head back to my room. “Leo?” Mom calls, just before I get my door open.
“Yeah?”
“Vinny is coming over, why don’t we play a board game?”
Yeah, why not. I trudge back to the table and sit down, Vinny shows up within a couple of minutes. Franco isn't here, but Heather is. Heather is Vinny’s girlfriend. She’s kind of shy, really long brown hair, nice girl.
He chooses Uno when asked what he wants to play, it’s a fun game everybody can agree on so we play it a lot. This particular round lasts two and a half hours. I get screwed in the very beginning, my hand consisting of only green and red. Plus I sit next to Vinny, so he takes every opportunity to attack me with draw two's and skips. I end up with twenty something cards in the first eight minutes. Heather isn’t much better off.
This is somewhat advantageous, of course because everybody assumes I’m no longer a threat. I make my comeback quickly but Heather keeps gaining more cards, to the point where even I stop seeing her as a threat. This is my first mistake. The order got reversed a little while ago so Vinny had stopped attacking me and started attacking her.
I reverse the order. This is mistake number two. Heather stops gaining cards and begins losing them, rapidly. I start to gain again, but I can’t switch the order. My third and final mistake is not keeping an eye on her. We only realize this mistake when a quiet, unexpected “Uno” escapes her lips.
Dad puts down a green four since we know her color isn’t green. Turns out she had a wild. Heather is congratulated and I'm stuck putting the game away while they retreat to the garage. I’m not even offered to join them. I put the game away, stash it in the spare room, empty since Vinny moved out, and hide out under the covers in my room, Breaking Benjamin on the radio.
I fall asleep while I listen to “So Cold” on repeat. I wake up Sunday morning feeling like shit. After a few minutes of tossing and turning I get up, run to the bathroom, and blow chunks. Goddamn shit on the shingles.
I’m sick until Friday, I never ran too high of a fever, I just kept throwing up, feeling really queasy. I see Benjamin at lunch, I lost ten pounds and still have no appetite so I abstain from eating in hopes I won’t throw up. “Where have you been?” He asks.
“Sick.”
“You look like shit, are you sure you’re better?”
“No.” I still feel like shit but missing an entire week of school is suicide to my grades. I figure I can get all the work I missed today and do it over the weekend. “No desert this weekend.” I say.
“I didn’t figure. Are you running a fever?”
“Not that I know of.”
He hums. “My mom’s a nurse, she might be able to help.”
“I’m going to the doctor on Saturday.”
“My mom will do it for free.” He waggles his eyebrows and I laugh.
“I’m fine, Benjamin.” He shrugs.
He eats in silence while I stare in silence.
On Saturday I go to the hospital, he tells me that it’s just a bug and gives me some pills. I feel better by Monday and am finally eating a normal diet. It’s shitty, though, because Mom only lets me eat a little bit at a time even though I’m starving.
Benjamin laughs as I scarf down two chicken burgers at lunch. “Feeling better?” He asks.
“Much.” Mr. Stewart is less happy this week, he must have finally realized having a child is not a blessing but a nightmare. I make myself small and obedient—I don’t feel like ticking him off today.
Benjamin isn’t at school the rest of the week. Something is telling me he caught whatever I had but another part of me is panicking. I find myself worrying about him, even though his mom is a nurse and she probably takes great care of him. At the end of the day on Friday, I decide I’m going to take him his missing work. I ask for it at the front desk and Mrs. Nelson gives it to me without question.
I ride the bus home and drive to his house after school. Why am I here? We barely know each other, it’s not my place to show up at his doorstep. If he wanted his work one of his parents probably would have went out and gotten it for him. I sigh, I already took it, though. Shit.
I get out of my truck and walk up to his door. This is the newer part of town, the houses are all nice and freshly-painted. There’s a garden under a circular window with all kinds of colorful flowers and his grass is green and crisp.
I knock on the door. God, I feel like an idiot. Why am I here?
A man answers the door, I assume he’s Benjamin’s dad but he looks young. “Can I help you?” He asks.
“Uh, I brought Benjamin’s work for him.” I want to punch myself, I’m such a dumbass, why did I come here?
“Oh, thank you.” He smiles, really smiles. Like he’s so thankful I brought his son some homework. “Why don’t you come inside, I’ll make tea.”
“Okay.” Then I kick myself. “Thank you.” Manners, Leo. Ever heard of them?
I follow the man inside and I wish I knew his name so I could properly thank him. Their house is beautiful, pictures of Benjamin line the wall, there’s one of him when he was little with a slim orange snake slithering through his tiny hands, there’s one of him standing next to Mickey Mouse with little mouse ears, one of him sitting in a swing under a tree. That one looks more recent. There are pictures of him with people I assume to be his family and friends.
“Benjamin is in his room, first door on the left. You can give him his homework. I’ll bring some tea in for both of you boys.”
“Thank you.” I say again because I’ve never been very good at interacting with people. Benjamin’s door is open but I knock before going in. It’s been years since I’ve been to another person’s house and I’m super anxious. I don’t know how to act.
“What?” He asks, sounding grumpy and tired. “Oh, hey Leo.” I nod. He sits up, he’s pale and tired-looking. “What’re you doing here?”
I hold up the stack of papers. “I brought you your homework.”
He groans and falls backward. “No! How could you?” But he’s laughing. “I just talked my dad out of going to get that bullshit.”
I laugh and stand awkwardly in the doorway. “You can come in and sit down, if you want.” I sit in a chair that’s pulled out from a desk. I spot his snake, it’s in a 30 gallon tank opposite me. I have to admit I’m interested, I’ve never seen a hognose snake.
“You want to hold her?” Benjamin asks.
“You don’t have to get up.” I say. I know exactly how shitty he feels right now.
He shakes his head. “I don’t feel so bad anymore, the meds really help. I’m just tired.”
“I can go, if you want. So you can sleep.” He laughs at me.
“You’re adorable, Leo. You can stay for a bit.”
I’m adorable? Where the hell did that come from? I’m not cute, I’m a mysterious badass. He pulls the lid off the tank and grabs the snake. “C’mere.” He says. The snake is a stout, fat little thing. It’s nose it upturned and it’s cream colored with pale orange spots. “Her name is Betty, she’s albino.”
“You told me.” I say, walking up to him. He holds her out and I take her. She’s much shorter and thicker than any snake I’ve caught in the past. She hisses at me all of a sudden and her cheeks puff up. “Whoa, she doesn’t like me.” I say, laughing.
Benjamin laughs. “She doesn’t like anybody.” She strikes out at me and I nearly fall backwards. Benjamin snorts and laughs harder. “It’s just a bluff strike, she won’t bite you.”
“Why should I trust that?” I ask, setting her back in her tank. “Isn’t she poisonous?”
He shakes his head. “She’s venomous but it’s not lethal. It’s like a bee sting.”
“Has she ever bitten you?”
“Nope.” He puts the lid back on and ties a twist tie through the latch.
“I hope you like earl grey.” I turn around and see Benjamin’s dad in the doorway holding two mugs with steaming liquid. “Benjamin drank everything else and I haven’t been to the store.”
I've never had earl grey. “Thank you.” I say as he hands me a mug.
“Thanks, Dad.”
He takes Benjamin’s temperature and makes sure he took his meds. “Your dad looks young.” I say after he leaves.
“Yeah, he was only sixteen when I was born.”
“Wow, how old was your mom?”
“Seventeen.” I sip my tea, it tastes flowery and sweet. “How old were your parents?” He asks.
“I think my mom was twenty-nine when I was born, so Dad must’ve been thirty-two.”
“Got any siblings?”
“An older brother, he moved out a while ago.”
“Are you close?”
“Not really, but we get along.”
“I wish I had a sibling.”
“They suck ass, you don’t want one.”
He downs his tea. “My mom is super close to her sister, and my dad and his sisters have always been close.”
“Sisters aren’t brothers, it’s different.”
“Maybe… ”
“Brothers are the worst, haven’t you ever seen Malcolm in the Middle?”
“Yeah, a couple episodes but I don’t watch a whole lot of TV.”
“Well, most brothers have a relationship like Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey. Always fighting, always yelling, demoting each other.” I shrug. “That’s just how brothers are.”
He sits and thinks about it, then shrugs, he looks a bit sad, it makes me feel like I’ve said something wrong. He sighs. “I still want a little sibling, sister or brother. I don’t care.”
“Get a dog. Easier to take care of and it’ll love you more.”
He shakes his head. “Mom’s allergic to dogs. That’s why we have snakes.”
“Multiple?”
“Yeah, we have a few of ball pythons, a Mexican black kingsnake, and a boa. Betty is my snake, though. That’s why she’s in here.” He flops down on the bed, setting his empty mug on the desk. “I don’t feel like going and getting them, though. You can come over some other time and see them.”
I nod and finish my tea, then I tell his dad thanks for the third time and leave. I get in the truck and wish I’d asked Benjamin what his parents’ names are.
Rather than getting out and heading inside once I’ve gotten home, I just sit there and think about my encounter. It really brings to light the fact that I have no idea how to act like a person around people.
Especially when I’m on their turf, at school it’s nobody’s turf. Just a giant stew with flavors that never really mix or come together. At Benjamin’s house I was completely out of my element, I felt like a total freak showing up out of nowhere. I rest my head on the steering wheel and sigh.
I kind of wish I’d turned Benjamin away immediately. I wouldn’t be in the mess of feeling this loyalty to him, or whatever it is. I hate having friends, even when I was little it felt like a hassle. No Billy, I don’t want to go to your birthday party. Then Billy would cry and I would feel bad. That’s why I cut all the people from my childhood off, it’s like seeing ghosts now. I used to know them but at some point they changed and our friendship didn’t make it to that change.
I wonder if it’s too late to cut Benjamin off.
Yes, I think it is. I’ve already invited him into my life, at my hideout, in my truck. It’s definitely too late. I’m stuck with him.
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