From a young age were taught many things. Most of the things are instilled in us. Yet when you think of it a lot of the things we’re taught are to stop us from following instinct. Werewolves are the combination of actual animals and selfish humans. Put the two together and you truly have one of the worst things in existence. When they want something they take it regardless of the consequences.
I’ve grown up with this. It’s why I didn’t have a mother or a father. They wanted to leave and without thinking about anything they left me. I’ve lived a life with the idea that I’m not worth the time of anyone. I was taught later in life I do what others want. One thing does outweigh that, and that’s the idea that I’m less than everyone and everything.
When I open my eyes I’m in my own bed. This was different. I remember being asleep in another place. The fact I wasn’t in that same place was weird for me. I’ve never had someone looking out for me, not like this.
I roll out of bed.
When I wake up I have something over my eyes. I pull the weird thing off my eye. I examine it. As soon as I pulled it off. I couldn’t help but wonder how I could see so well. I set it off to the side on the night stand.
I wander to the back of the house. The back door was open, only the screen door closed. Normally both of those doors would be closed.
I help but wonder why it was left open. If anything I would think it would be the front door, not the back. I slowly open the screen door. On the back porch was the big black wolf. He was asleep. I approached him. I crouched down in front of him.
He looked like he was at peace with himself. I ran my fingers through his fur on the top of his head. He was huge and it was kind of funny how he was smushed into the back porch.
I stared at him. I continued to run my fingers through his fur. He had stayed here all night. He knew that I wanted to go home and instead of forcing me to stay at his house, or forcing himself into my home he stayed the night outside to look after me. Normally that would be insanely creepy, but I actually was comforted by the fact he wanted to protect me. My fingers slowly slide through his fur. I admired how soft it was. The color was amazing. A pure black, something so rare.
There was a soft whine. His eyes were now wide open. Even though he was awake I continued running my fingers through his fur. I was on the floor right in front of him. He moved his head into my lap and looked up at me.
“Did you sleep out here all night?” he nodded. I sigh. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of ease when he was around. It was a weird feeling. When there were other wolves I felt fear. A constant sense that I wasn’t welcome, and could be attacked at any time. With him being so big I should feel an even greater sense of fear, but instead I wanted to allow myself to lay with him.
“C’mon you should switch back into your human form so we can talk.” He looked around. Almost as if he didn’t want to.
“Please?” A soft snort escaped his lips. He nudged me away with his nose. “Ok, I'm moving.” I got to my feet. I stepped back. He stood. It was amazing how much larger he was compared to me. He moved off the porch. I stared at him. I couldn’t help but admire how amazing he looked. I always wished I could look like him.
When I first hit the age was supposed to shift, I was so excited. Then a year passed. We all thought maybe I was just a late bloomer, it happens with omegas. The problem was another year passed and another. Finally we all knew I was just a dud. I would never shift.
It took me a while to come to terms with it, but when I did it didn’t suck any less. Now I’m just stuck with the jealousy whenever I see another shift into their wolf form.
There were always a couple pairs of sweatpants on the porch. Originally it was for my grandparents, then for guests, but it’s not like anyone comes around nowadays.
I set the sweats down and turned for a brief moment.
“I’m sorry the sweats are kinda dirty. People haven't been-” I had turned as I spoke. I hadn’t noticed it before because I didn’t have my glasses on. Whatever the weird thing had allowed me to see, so I could now see all the scars that littered his back. I was in shock. Scars all over his back. To scar a werewolf -it’s almost impossible to do.
The only way is with silver.
His back was to me, I approached him. Before I could stop myself I ran my fingers down his back.
He pulled away from me. Fear in his eyes. It flashed for a moment, and it was only a moment. He seemed to stiffen up. A sense of distrust.
I could tell that he was trying to relax around me, but it was almost as if he was bracing for the pain. The idea that he was getting ready for me to hurt him, shocked me to my core. More than anything I was upset. I could never understand the pain he must’ve gone through. To obtain these scars- I just couldn’t stop the pain in my chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I know it’s ugly to look at. I’m sorry-”
“Stop. You dumbass that’s not why I’m upset. I’m upset because I think of what you had to go through. What was the reason behind the scars?” He seemed to pull back. Only then do I realize how personal a question like that is. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to-”
“No. It’s alright. I’ve forced you to tell me things, so it’s only fair that I open up to you as well. I told you my brother was trained to be an alpha and I was not. Well the majority of my training had to do with me remaining off to the side. I was taught to be neither seen nor heard. If I broke the rules I would be punished for it. The majority of my life I’ve lived outside in the woods. I do some things inside, which is why you saw me in my brother’s house. I had certain things that I needed to do. Like the wrap around your eyes. I noticed you couldn’t see well. I made that mask to help you. It’s not permanent, but it should last a while.”
“Wait- you mean you could help heal blindness?”
“No- I can help with werewolf blindness. I know how to help werewolf illnesses. I’m not allowed to live in the house. Instead I live my life outside. Since I’m in the forest all the time. I’ve learned to use certain plants to help with certain medical issues. I’ve experimented. Being in the wild you see things. I’ve been able to apply what some animals do to us and find ways of helping our kind.” The fact that he had been forced to live outside the majority of his life, over some silly idea. I grab his hand.
“I don’t live the best life. In fact I don’t even have enough money to pay the electric bill. You’re allowed in my house any time. In fact I want you to be able to live inside. You’re a werewolf, not a wolf. You need to accept both sides of you. I live by myself, so you won’t have to worry.”
“I- I, wouldn’t be able. I can’t take advantage of you.” He was hesitant. I couldn’t help but think of the situation he was in. His family had forced him to live a life where he was raised inferior. He wasn’t treated as a human but as an animal. Similar to how I was treated by my pack.
I had found a safe place in my home. I think it’s the right thing to give him a safe place as well. He’s been nothing but kind to me. Unlike his brother I know I can trust him not to make a move. I don’t know why I make this all so confusing.
“I want you to live here. You need a place you can call your own. As long as you promise to not make me regret it. I don’t mind you staying here.” He smiles, finally he nods.
“I think if that’s the case you should finally call me by my first name. I go by wolf.”
“Your name is wolf?”
“Well that’s what I’ve been forced to live by my whole life. I figured it was better than nothing. My brother actually gave me that name when we were kids. So it’s what I’ve gone by.”
“You can’t tell your brother about us living together. I don’t want him to do the whole jealous thing.” It’s weird to think about. There was an emotional connection to him, but it wasn’t as strong. I did feel something but he doesn’t understand. He wants too much at one time. Wolf was alright with being friends. I was the one who initiated living together. I don’t think it’s right that he’s forced to live his life a wolf. He should be able to live his life the way he wants.
I have to head to work soon. I’ve been skipping out on all of it. It helps that I had one less job. I needed to get to school.
“I’m gonna head to school. I’m not home until later. I’ll help you settle in. You’ll be here right?” He nodded. “Ok good. Well bye.”
I go into my truck. I couldn’t help but wonder. Why was I opening myself up to him? Is it because I understand? I think about what he’s gone through and in some way I can relate. My situation wasn’t as severe as his.
He was patient with me. He seemed as if he genuinely wanted to be my friend. I think of gram and gramps. I remember them telling me.
“More important than anything. It’s not just love that holds a relationship together. The longest relationships last because the two are friends. When your gram and I were younger, we were friends. We went through it all together. You can spend time with someone but it’s not until your friends you can move past that. Friends become family. Your soulmate is family. They’re the one you spend all of eternity with. Friendships are similar, they follow you into your next life.”
Maybe Wolf was a friendship from another lifetime and that’s why I connect with him. I rolled into school. Surprisingly there weren’t a lot of cars. Normally the parking lot would be full by this time. My spot was still open. The weird thing was there wasn’t as much trash. Normally there would’ve been a lot of hate notes and such. Maybe the school cleaned to impress someone.
I park the truck and grab my bag from the front seat. I begin walking into the school. The halls weren’t filled. Something weird was going on.
The alpha stood in front of the office. “You. Come here. Now.” I knew he was talking to me. I lowered my head and followed him. I rack my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong now.
I can’t think of anything especially bad. In fact I would think he would be all for ignoring me lately. I move into his office. He clicked his tongue.
“You know-” He paused. He took a deep breath. “I need you to understand. The only reason you’re anywhere near this pack is because of your grandfather. If it weren’t for him you would’ve been casted out. I ask you to be respectful and follow the simple instructions I give you.” He stops and looks at me. I haven’t done anything recently. Nothing that would warrant this lecture. He continues his speech.
“I understand you struggle to keep your legs closed. Trying to seduce this alpha is unacceptable. We have plenty of good omegas. Omegas that would provide for him. But you. You are a runt. You honestly shouldn’t even be alive. You wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for the kindness of my pack.”
“I don’t understand what it is you’re trying to insinuate. I’m a virgin. I’ve never slept with anyone.” After I speak he clenches his jaw. A sign that he doesn’t believe me.
“Is there a reason you feel the need to lie to me?”
“I don-”
“Fine tell me what is going on between the two of you.”
I sigh. “He thinks that I’m his destined mate or whatever. He forced his pheromones on me and triggered my heat. He said we never actually did anything though. We’ve made out a couple of times, but that’s it. I told him that he needs to find someone worthy of being his mate. I told him that I’m not it. I think more than anything he’s just not used to being told no. It’s just a crush that will go away.”
“We will do everything to ensure that it’s just a crush that will go away. I don’t think you understand the severity of this situation. This alpha is extremely important. And I don’t think you understand the significance of this treaty. If he wanted to destroy us, he could with a snap. That’s all it would take! A snap of his finger and every single person would be slaughtered. He’s already said he’s considering backing out on the treaty, because of you. Do you want that?” I shake my head. “That’s what I thought. Now what you’re going to do is stay home. I don’t want you working any more of your side jobs. I don’t want you to visit your grandfather. I will cover the expenses. You will no longer need to graduate here. I want you to pretend you aren’t a part of our pack. This alpha will no longer consider the idea of you existing. I don’t want to hear about the white haired omega again. Do you understand?”
“No. I don’t. Why-”
“He won’t stop asking about you. This alpha seems to talk about you, a lot. That’s why I want to pretend you never existed. Until this whole thing dies down. Look at me. You Never Existed! Do Not Leave Your House. This is an alpha command. I want you to go home." I nod my head and oblige. I can’t not. An alpha command makes it nearly impossible to ignore.
I really don’t understand any of this. Why is him liking me such a big deal? I walk back to my truck. I can’t help but be lost in my own thoughts.
Is it really so hard for the pack leader to give me someone? I figured he would forget about me in no time. The fact that there are such extreme measures being put into place makes me wonder what else is going on.
He’s even sent out a message on my behalf that I can’t work.
This is so dumb. Why am I being punished for someone else? I’m not desirable. I never have been.
I'm a firm believer that he only associates with me because he knows I'll say no. That's the only reason.
I have too much going on to deal with this. Out of all of my jobs the only one I'm concerned about is the diner. I'm one of the few people who works there. I don't want to leave Angie.
She would be the one person I consider a part of my family. She looked after me, and she cared for me. I know she was just looking out for me. It’s why I needed to look after her in a way.
To be fair the alpha command didn't specify a time. Which means I can work today and by tomorrow I'll be at home. It should be alright, it's only a couple of hours.What’s the worst that could happen?
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