The moment after Emerson lost sight of Cameron, he could fill the cold emptiness envelope like a hug from Death itself. His heart felt heavy, beating loud in his chest he feared anyone would be able to hear it. As he finished brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth out, his mind began to replay memories of his past.

Before the memories could focus and take Emerson down the rabbit hole again, a bright pink haired male popped into the bathroom. His soft brown eyes wide with concern as he closed the distance to the small boy sitting on the counter.

“Emmy? Hey, I’m sorry it took a minute. I was helping Seb’s mom with the dishes. But I came as soon as Cameron told us what happened. Do you need anything?” Frankie’s smooth voice was comforting to Emerson. It was different from Cameron’s low, sometimes raspy voice, yet it still blossomed warmth in Emerson’s chest.

Emerson shook his head as he slowly stepped down onto the floor. His throat was sore, a lingering burning sensation irritating him. His stomach felt sore and empty, but he knew food would probably be a bad idea right now.

“Let’s go to the kitchen okay? The others are about to shower and get ready for our trip downtown. Will you join us? Or do you want to rest here?” Frankie held Emmy’s hand loosely as he led them down the hallway.

Emerson’s grip tightened around the younger’s hand at the thought of being left alone. “I wanna go with you.” His voice was soft, cracking at times due to his sore throat.

“Okay, it’s okay.” Frankie smiled gently at Emmy. “You can come with. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable coming with us, that’s all. I know we all would love for you to join. We plan to do a lot of shopping, so be prepared.”

Emerson nodded a few times, a slight smile on his face as he felt the comforting warmth again as they entered the kitchen.

Cameron was leaning against the island, waiting for the two male. Beside him wasa cute white mug with a dog saying “tea-pup” on its collar full of black coffee and a small white plate with a warm biscuit cut in half with a slice of melting butter.

“Hey, Emmy. Feeling a little better?” Cameron asked, his voice soft as the two males closed the distance to the elder. Emerson shrugged slightly, still feeling a little worse for wear. “That’s okay. I hope the coffee and biscuit helps. Frankie, go ahead and go shower. I’ll be up once Kit and Ash are done.”

Frankie nodded as he reluctantly let go of Emmy’s hand. Emerson barely noticed as his hand was let go because his other hand was grabbing the mug of coffee. He slowly sipped the sweet warm coffee, enjoying the bitter aftertaste and the warmth that eased the irritation in his throat. Emerson knew coffee was his favourite thing besides music and singing.

“Hey, Emmy?” Cameron spoke softly as he leaned against the island, watching Emmy sip the coffee and eat small bites of the soft biscuit. Emerson glanced at him for a moment before returning his gaze to make sure he didn’t spill the coffee. “I have to leave to go shower. And so do you. Kit and Ash are in the two guest room bathrooms. Once they are done, we will take them. After we all get changed and ready for the day, we are going downtown.”

Emerson nodded. He felt slight emptiness at the thought of sitting in the shower, alone with the swirling storm of memories that were calm now but could become a mess at any moment.

“I know.” Emerson’s voice was normal again, thanks to the warm coffee. “I’ll be okay. I don’t stay in the shower for long anyway.”

Cameron nodded slightly as Emerson finished his coffee and biscuit. Kit shouted from atop the stairs, “Hey, showers open!”

Emerson sighed lowly, preparing himself for the possible onslaught of memories. “Let’s go, Emmy. It’ll be okay.” Emerson looked up to see Cameron holding out his hand. Emerson took his hand and followed him up the stairs to the room with the blanket pile.

Emerson and Cameron separated to gather the shower items and a change of clean clothes. Then, Cameron led Emerson to one of the guest rooms.

“Just go back to the game room once you are down. We might be a moment, because Frankie tends to wear some makeup.” Cameron chuckled softly before leaving Emerson and heading to the other guest room.

Emerson smiled softly before entering the room and making his way immediately to the bathroom. He knew the quicker he showered, the less time his memories spiralled to the bad ones.

The bathroom was simple, yet fancy compared to Emerson’s own bathroom. A simple white countertop with a light oak cabinet. The shower was a wide square nozzle that could be detached and a wide, deep white tub. A few nooks in one corner held a bottle of shampoo, conditioner and body wash for guests. There was a small silver shelf along the wall above the plain white toilet which held a few fresh towels.

Emerson set down his clothes before turning the shower on. The water heated up fairly quickly, which Emerson thanked the gods for. He stripped off his clothes, ignoring the faint scars he could see as he entered the shower. Taking a deep breath as the hot water washed the cool air off his body, there was a slight pause as his mind began to process current things.

As he showered, washing his body with his lavender scented soap and his hair with a scented shampoo and conditioner that was meant to help his hair repair the damages he had from all the hair dying he had done, his thoughts went to Cameron and Frankie.

The two males were the ones that Emerson felt close to, though he still felt comfortable around the others. There was something about Cameron and Frankie’s immediate understanding of Emerson’s odd behaviours. It’s like they knew what he had been through and how to comfort him in the exact way he needed.

His mind slowly darkened as it fell onto his past.

~

Emerson was remembering a time when he lost the love and comfort from his own mother. He was probably five or six years old. His father’s beautiful mansion laid like a giant behind him as he played, alone, in the open garden maze that stretched out behind the mansion. His nursemaid was sitting on a white metal chair, knitting a blanket or shirt perhaps. Little Emerson was playing with wooden trains, swooshing them through the air, making soft airplane-like noises. His eyes were wide, a bright chocolate brown shining in the daylight.

His mother walked out, stomping on her expensive heels that clicked on the cobblestone porch. Emerson, hearing the sound of his mother’s shoes, turned to face her with a bright smile. Emerson loved his mother and would always enjoy it when she visited him when he had play time. But, this time was different. Little Emerson saw the angry fire burning his mother’s dark brown eyes. Her hair was a mess in a bun, when it was usually a perfect neat bun. She wore a simple white blouse and creased black trousers, both seemed distressed with wrinkles and her blouse was not fully tucked in like it always was. His mother was always perfect, appearance perfect. But not today, not that day.

Before little Emerson could tell his mother about some imaginative adventure the people on his flying train were on, his mother’s hand swiped down across Emerson’s face. A resounding sound echoed in the courtyard, a gasp of shock came from the nursemaid, and silence followed.

Emerson’s mother was heavily breathing as she stared at the shocked Emerson. He was confused, his cheek heated and pain spread immediately. He started to cry, sobbing loudly as he held his cheeks. He wanted to ask why, but his mother spoke first.

“You little brat. I wish I never had you.” Another slap across his other cheek followed the seething words of his mother. “You ruined everything. Your father is leaving.” A shove sent Emerson onto the ground and a kick against his chest cracked one, maybe it was two, of his ribs.

“Because of you he is leaving me. He fixed his will. Gave you!” She hissed sharply as she sent another kick to his stomach. “You, a fucking child, all of his money. Stated that I!” She picked him, punching him square in the face. “That I, his own fucking wife, didn’t need his money when he died! I gave him a son and he betrays me! I should’ve killed you when you were born. A daughter would’ve been a blessing. You,” her words dripped thick with anger as she threw him onto the ground hard. “You are a fucking curse.” She spat onto the ground before turning and marching away. “Get him bandaged up. And if you tell anyone anything, I’ll have you put in jail for abusing my child.” Her words stung as the nursemaid stood shaking at the threat.

~

Emerson shook his head, washing away his memory with the conditioner in his hair. He quickly turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He tried to erase the replaying memory of his first abuse as he dried off and got dressed.

Emerson was thankful for the weekend where he could wear what he wanted. Today was supposed to be kind of cool, so Emerson slipped on his favourite worn black skinny jeans and a loose, oversized half-black half-white silk button up. His hair was damp and he didn’t want to bother blow drying it, styling it, and hoping it stayed, so he left it alone. He took his dirty clothes and the towel he used with him as he made his way back to the game room. As he neared the room, he could hear the guys chatting and laughing. His heart tightened as his mind immediately slipped a thought of “they don’t need you, they are happy with each other, just leave before you get too attached and get hurt again.”

Emerson felt his mind was right. It happened before, a long time ago, but it had happened. He stood in the hallway, a few feet from the opened door to the game room. He wanted to go in, to enter the room and get attached to the six men who gave him comfort and showed him love and warmth despite their new friendship. He wanted to ignore the stupid thought in his hand that continued to repeat itself. But, as it repeated, he felt more likely to just leave and walk home. He didn’t want to ruin their close friendship with his traumatic past. He didn’t want to cause trouble for them with his problems. He wanted them to be happy, even if that meant he would leave.

Emerson inhaled sharply in a soft gasp as warm, muscular arms wrapped around his upper chest, holding his arms and body in a gentle hug. Warmth heated his back and someone’s breathing kissed its way across Emerson’s tense neck, finding its way down and over the indent of his collarbone.

“Emmy? You know you can go in.” Cameron’s low voice caused a shiver to speed its way down the younger’s spine. A sweet heat following.

Emerson gulped, loudly enough that he feared the other heard. Then he spoke, softly, “I’m sorry. I … I got lost.”

Cameron’s light chuckle caused soft warm air to heat the skin of Emerson’s neck and collarbone. “Lost in thoughts? It’s okay. Let’s go in.”

His arm loosened around the younger before he led Emerson into the room by lightly pushing against Emerson’s lower back.

“Hey! Finally,” Kit’s voice was loud, but not loud enough to bother the flustered Emerson who was lost in a sea of warm emotions. “We were waiting for you two.”

“Sorry about that, I had to shower Emerson how to use the fancy showers Sebastian has, so it took a few minutes longer than it would’ve.” Cameron easily lied to the group. Emerson was slightly shocked as Kit laughed, believing the lie was the true reason they took longer.

“Well, we are just waiting on Frankie.” Ash rolled his eyes, “as usual.”

Emerson’s mind cleared enough for him to glance around the room.

Felix was laying on the couch wearing simple distressed blue jeans, a white shirt with a simple light teal jacket. His hair was dried and styled neatly with gel or hairspray. A pair of nice leather boots were on the ground beside the couch.

Sebastian was sitting beside Felix’s head, messing with the other’s hair for fun. He wore a simple light pink shirt and neat skinny jeans with a pair of clean white sneakers.

Kit was messing with Ash as they loosely played pool. His hair was curly mess. Kit wore a tight white tank top tucked into black jeans, showing a simple black belt around his waist. An unbuttoned black and white vertical striped long sleeve covered the fact he was wearing a tank top. He wore simple converse that showed signs of use.

Ash laughed as he pushed Kit away. He wore an oversize white t-shirt with distressed light blue jeans that were slightly rolled up due to his Timberland boots. His hair was not styled and his bangs softly kissed his eyelashes, indicating he would need a haircut soon - maybe.

Emerson’s gaze turned to Cameron who was laughing at Ash’s comment and walking to the couch to sit down. It was then that Emerson noticed why his back had warmed so much when Cameron hugged him. Cameron wore a loose button up that was only buttoned up enough, but still showed his smooth tanned chest. The button up was a deep purple with a galaxy blossoming across the back and front. He had tucked the shirt in the front, into dark skinny jeans. He wore simple black shoes and a thin white belt around his waist. His hair was slightly dry and showed the natural waves.

Trying to ignore the heat in his red cheeks, Emerson turned his gaze to Frankie.

Frankie was ignoring the group as he applied eyeliner as carefully as he could. He wore a simple white t-shirt with “LOVER” in black text across it. The shirt was tucked into very distressed light blue skinny jeans. A plain black belt wrapped around his waist and he wore simple clean converse. A rainbow colored silk jacket was laying beside Frankie and his layout of makeup palettes, brushes, and concealer bottles and containers. A soft white headband held his pink hair back, but Emerson could tell it was curled slightly to create a wavy like style.

Emerson never met another male wearing makeup before. It almost wanted him to do his own, but he hadn’t brought his things with him.

 “Emmy!” Frankie smiled, looking at the elder with one eye done and the other waiting to be painted with the makeup brush. “Come here. I want to do your makeup. If that’s okay?”

Emerson immediately nodded, thankful that the male seemed to read his mind. He quickly sat down on the floor beside Frankie. “I normally don’t wear a lot of makeup.”

“That’s okay. I wasn’t planning on caking your face in makeup. Just a little something to jazz up your hot outfit.” Frankie’s flirtatious smirk caused Emerson to grow embarrassed, heating his cheeks with a beautiful rosy color.

“Uh, thank you?” Emerson softly mumbled.

Frankie’s smirk softened into a warm smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you flustered. I just like to compliment people. Now, close your eyes and I will surprise you with beautiful and simple makeup.”