Hello! My name is Shitsuji Kito, a dead firefighter. I guess age doesn't matter when you are dead, so let's just get straight into the point:

I'm in a court room, being judged by God. I mean, at least I think that's God, this whole place seems and feels like Heaven to me. Oh, the four individuals on the thrones just got up.

– [You, child of men, will be judged by us, the Holy Quadrinity.]

The elder on the left throne spoke right after the one on the top.

– I am Jesus Christ, the Son, Ruler of Pardon and Kindness.

The girl on the right throne spoke right after that.

– I am Davar, the Holy Spirit, Ruler of Justice and Balance.

The girl on the bottom throne made a faint growl, and spoke after that.

– I am Satan, the Snake, Ruler of Choice and Will.

Finally, the one on the top spoke Himself.

– [I am YHWH, the Father, Ruler of Life and Creation.]

All of them spoke right after that, exactly at the same time and pace.

– [We are the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the ones who divided the seas and made fire rain down from the sky. We saved lives, and we took lives. We blessed, and we cursed. Yet acknowledging this, we recognize our wrong deeds after the eons. For we are flawed beings, just like you. Now... Let's begin thy judgement, Shitsuji Kito.]

That was a pretty mighty speech if I can say so. All of them sat down on their thrones, and in the hands of the three bottom ones, Jesus, Davar and Satan, there was a number of papers and documents. Satan got up first, and gave a little chuckle.

– Alright, mister "Butler Wood And". Shall we begin? Oh, I forgot, Souls can't actually talk outside of their minds. Well, then... You shall be able to speak. (Satan)

Suddenly I feel like my throat is burning a bit, and in front of me appears a figure similar to a tongue made of fire. So, can I speak now? Let's test it.

– Uhh... Hello? (Shitsuji)

– Well, well, it's working at least. (Satan)

Finally, I can talk! I can talk! If this was a Isekai, probably I would have to wait at least about 2 years before I can fully speak. Well, I AM in another world, just not the cliche one. Oh well, let's just hear what she has to say before I become dragon lunch.

– So, now I'll list some of your deeds in life. Of course, I'll not list every snot you took of your nose holes, but there will be some heavy stuff here. (Satan)

– Please, Satan, at least take it easy on him. He was a good person, you know? (Jesus)

– No one who's an Otaku is good, dear nephew. They all fall in the grey area or below. (Satan)

– I actually like some of those "Novels" the humans of his world wrote. I particularly enjoy reading Redo of the Healer. (Davar)

– Davar, you're not helping. How can you say that with such a smiley and pure face, sister? You know what that Novel has, right? (Satan)

They're not judging me. This is more like a discussion between family members, or even close friends, than a judgement in a court room. I cough a bit for them to remember at least that they're not in their rooms talking about anime... I can't believe I just thought this about them.

– Alright, let's just go back to the point. Shitsuji Kito, saved several lives over his years of work as a firefighter. Donated around 30000 dollars worth of money, food and health care for charity over his life, and died right after saving a little girl in a house fire. (Satan)

– See, I told you he was a go- (Jesus)

– BUUUUUT... He has been violent towards a few kids when he was young. Kicked a dog once when he was a kid, has been racist a few times when he was a teenager... Good grief, he even said the N word one time. (Satan)

– Satan, aren't you cherry picking? These kinds of stuff are tiny grains of dust compared to his good deeds. (Davar)

– Oh, but you didn't hear everything. Due to him having a small burst of rage, he harassed some people online... And caused 4 people to commit suicide. Yeah, my dude, you have some blood on your hands. (Satan)

– ... Satan, that can be forgiven still. He knows what he did. But he worked hard to be a better man... Isn't that right? (Jesus)

I couldn't even speak. Those memories... Those errors, and the price I paid in my mind, were all uncovered and shoved in my face now. Somehow, without a heart, I can feel it pounding in my non existent chest. I promised myself that I would never ever taint my hands in blood again, that I would pay my price and save people. Did I succeed? I don't know...

– No words. I see. (Satan)

– [Satan, Davar, Jesus. Go back to your seats.] (YHWH)

All of them got back and sat down. YHWH got up, spreading his four wings of pure fire and lightning, and he gazed upon me, with his flaming eyes almost burning my soul from the inside out. There aren't words to describe this feeling of terror I felt when those eyes stared at me.

– [I have seen ones like you before. I know ones like you. Paul, the apostle, was just like you. A man trying to pay his wrong deeds with good actions. I can't blame you. But the lives that were lost won't come back. They all passed through the same thing you are experiencing now, and all had different results. Now, I shall give you the Final Word. Your fate from now on.] (YHWH)

YHWH closes His wings, and slowly raises His hand with a gesture, similar to a pre-snap. Then, he talks again.

– [You shall be promoted to a Cherubim. You will serve under the Rule of Satan, and respond directly to and from Us. The lives that you saved have paid your debt. You shall now serve with a clear mind and soul. Welcome, our new angel, to Heaven.] (YHWH)

As soon as He stopped talking, he snapped His fingers, and a blinding light surrounded me. I felt like my body was on fire, burning specially behind the neck and on my back. When the sensation was gone and the light faded away, I wasn't just a floating consciousness anymore. Now, I had my body back. My feet were like the feet of a ox, my hands like the feet of a lion, I was dressed in white and golden clothes, my hair turned a bright, almost shiny blonde color, and I could feel four wings on my back. But most importantly... I could feel three more heads behind my own.

(What is this??)

[Who are you?]

{Where are my teeth?}

Guys, calm down now. I need to know what is happening. Oh, I see. Four times more than normal, I see. Now there was a (Lion), a [Ox] and a {Eagle} head behind my own. As if this couldn't get weirder. At least it feels like I'm in control.

[I won't be under YOUR control. This is my body, you know.]

{Now that's OUR body, deal with it, horned dude.}

(I don't really care... I'll just sleep for now.)

They all have a similar, yet different personality from my own. The lion is the easiest to deal with at least. Oh, Satan started to approach us. What does she want?

– I know that's a key feature of Cherubim, but just let me do this for a second... (Satan)

Before I could answer, she punched the three new heads one time. That seriously hurts you know! Oh, wait... I can't feel my heads anymore. What did she do?!

– What? I just put your heads to hibernate a bit. Newborn Cherubim heads are annoying. Now... You are under my command, aren'tcha? (Satan)

She forced an accent, while hissing like a snake, and offered her hand to me while making an expression that I couldn't identify if it was of lust, interest, deception or happiness.

– Welcome aboard, newbie Butler. Don't expect me to go easy on you. (Satan)

– I-I... I appreciate the consideration. It will be an honor work with you. (Shitsuji)

We both shake hands, and all the angels burst into an almost orchestral chorus. I guess that's it, huh? While the angels sang this song, I pondered about this new future post life, working in heaven, for Satan.