The newfound equilibrium in this house changes everything.

It was always a cozy spot, even before. The lighting is warm, and there are deep rugs to sit on when you want to be off the hardwood. The floors are sunk a little low into the ground, giving the house a rooted feeling, like there's earth right beneath your feet.

But now that the tension here has been released, the very air seems lighter, more tranquil, more - right.

I’m alone, upstairs. From here, I can hear Raj, Ripley, and Noah, all laughing. I also hear a loud groan from Aiden, which I’d guess means that he’s been given the Xbox controller again. Melanie and Nikita are taking a nap together in the master bedroom, and a slice of low, warm light glows from beneath the closed door.

By comparison, Noah’s room is dark, still, and silent, but the moment I flip on the light, it feels intimately connected to the rest of the house.

Something about this room is different, not how I remember it. I’m not sure what. I stand there with my eyes narrowed, thinking - and it hits me.

Noah finally unpacked the rest of his stuff.

Not only that, but there are new additions since I’ve been here last. The note from Raj is still on the dresser, as is the picture of Noah with his sister. But now there’s also the fortune from the cookie that Aiden tossed him - follow the advice of your heart - and…

The grass flower crown that I made when Noah and I were talking in the garden. The one I jokingly put on his head. It’s resting on the corner of the mirror, dried out, but intact.

Next to the note from Raj is a thin strip of shiny paper. The hospital wristband that Noah wore on the day that Nik was born. You need one, to go back into the family-only part of the hospital.

Noah has also taken the original drawing of Ripley’s snow leopard down from his wall. He moved it over here, to the dresser, with all the rest of this stuff.

I’m absorbed in the little collection, but I sense a pair of eyes on me and look up.

Noah is there, his arms crossed over his chest. One shoulder against the doorframe, one pierced eyebrow arched.

“Oh-” I take a startled step backwards, then glare at him. “Dude! How’d you sneak up on me like that? Who are you, Ripley?”

Noah snickers softly, watching as I press a hand to my heart.

“Relax, bro. I just came up to see what was taking you so long. Told you that the batteries are in the top drawer. Or - do you not want to get the other controller turned back on? Because then you’ll have to tell Aiden that you don’t want to be on his team for the raid? Understandable, if so.”

“I’m always down to be on Team Aiden, okay? I just got distracted.” I nod at the bedroom. “I was just - thinking it looks nice. More homey. More like you.”

Noah’s gaze roams briefly over his room, and he shrugs. I was expecting an answer, but none comes, so I add: “Keeping your own room, then? I thought you might start sharing with Raj and Mel.”

“We’re still figuring out what works for us. I’ve slept some nights in their room, some nights in here. They both said it’s cool if I do want to keep my room, though.”

I can understand why Noah might want that. He’s finally getting the chance to construct his own world, finally letting himself hold onto precious things. It shows in his room. The color and nature of this place are so different from what they were before. The sea-green blanket that Raj gave him is a splash of gentle brightness, but it’s not constrained to that.

It’s been such a long, gradual process for Noah to get here. It makes sense to me that he wouldn’t want to give it up.

“Well, if you want your own space, that’s perfectly fair,” I tell him.

“Yeah, and I think we’re gonna have to get a bigger bed if I’m going to sleep in Raj and Mel’s room any more than I already do.” Noah stretches his arms over his head, wincing. “That one is not built for three. Most things aren’t, apparently.”

“Maybe you and Raj can build a bigger frame,” I suggest. “One that fits all of you.”

Noah smiles, then shrugs again. “Yeah, I bet we could.”

There’s a short silence, during which I open the top drawer of the dresser and find the batteries. I turn back to Noah, expecting him to lead the way downstairs, but he doesn’t move from the door.

“Hey, man,” he says slowly, “Sucks that we haven’t had time to do a games and ganj night in a while.”

“Oh.” I blink at him, surprised. “Yeah, I was thinking so, too.”

I mean it. I always have fun when we’ve got the whole group together, but I do like having Noah over alone sometimes. He's good to talk things through with. And I like to be there for him, when he needs the same thing. It’s been helpful for both of us, on more than one occasion.

It's also just fun.

“Shit’s been so busy,” Noah says, tossing his dark hair out of his eyes. “Nik is a full-time job, even with three of us.”

“It’s okay,” I answer quickly. “I’ve been busy, too.”

Noah nods. He hesitates, biting the inside of his cheek, then steps into the room. He crosses to his bed, sits down on it. I lean back against the dresser, being careful not to disturb any of the little items there.

“How’s it going with Aiden?” Noah rests his back against the wall, pulls his feet up. “I mean. Obviously, it’s going good. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him hold a smile for this long.”

I feel my face break into a wide smile before I can check it. “Yeah, it’s - it’s going good. It’s okay.”

“Jesus,” Noah laughs, taking in my expression. “Something tells me that you’re way underselling how good it’s going, dude.” He laughs harder as my cheeks very visibly start to burn. “Chill, bro, chill.”

“First of all, you know me, so you know that I have never chilled, one time, ever, in my life-”

“Fair enough,” Noah chuckles.

“And second of all, it looks like things are going pretty fucking good over here, too.” I fix Noah with a giant grin, then reach down to poke his arm. “Saw you with Raj when we pulled up. That was cute.”

“Ugh, shut up.” Noah tips his head back, pressing his fingers to his temples. “Don’t even-”

“I’m just saying that it’s nice to see how much you’ve come to trust Raj. That’s all.”

“I've always trusted Raj,” Noah says, without a second of hesitation.

I'm surprised into silence. Noah seems to realize what he said, and he fidgets with the blanket, plucking at its soft folds.

“It’s not that I didn’t trust Raj,” he continues slowly, “I - didn’t trust myself to trust the right people. Like, I told myself that I should trust Ralph, for so fucking long. Even if I didn’t, really. Not the way I trust Raj, not even close, not even in the same stratosphere, but. I believed him about way too much, anyways.” Noah stops messing with the blanket, lets out a heavy sigh. “Wouldn’t call myself the best judge of character, based on that.”

My smile drops, a stab of sympathy making my heart ache.

“Don’t come down too hard on yourself, Noah,” I say, in a much softer voice. “Ralph is a pro when it comes to bullshit. Aiden and I are still figuring out what wrong information we’ve got, because of him.” I hesitate, then add - “You know that story he told us about how back in high school, you guys stumbled across the lost cemetery that Aiden and I were looking for? That was complete garbage. Not true at all.”

“What?” Noah’s gaze snaps back to me. “But - I remember that night. Sort of. That really happened.”

“No, it didn’t, dude. Ralph took a different night that really happened, and twisted it to fit his narrative. You guys went to Memory Gardens, the cemetery currently in use. You never found the lost one.”

Noah stares at me blankly for a few seconds, then scoffs, his eyes wide.

“Of. Fucking. Course.” He almost looks ready to laugh, but he doesn’t. “Of course.”

I sit down on the bed next to him, tucking one leg beneath myself. I’m about to say something - I’m not sure what, exactly - but Noah suddenly keeps going, his face pale with anger.

“I knew that Ralph was a fucking liar, he lied to everyone, but he said that he wouldn’t do that to me and Grant. We were like kin, we were supposed to be the exceptions. Then I’d catch him lying to us, and when I’d ask for a fucking explanation, he’d act like I had insulted him. He’d get offended, talk about how I didn’t trust him enough, how I had no loyalty, or whatever. Half the time he never even bothered to explain why he’d lied to me, and he never fucking said he was sorry. It would always get twisted around, and then I would be the one apologizing, feeling like a paranoid idiot, feeling terrible for even bringing it up in the first pl-”

I rest a hand on Noah’s shoulder, so that he’ll stop for a breath. He instantly shrugs me off, grey eyes blinking up over my head.

“Sorry,” he says.

I wish I could give him a hug. I would, if I didn’t know that he’d hate it. “You really don’t have to be sorry.”

“Just - you can’t blame me for feeling stupid. Got taken in so many damn times.” Noah runs a hand through his long hair, the frustration in his voice obvious. “You guys must think I’m stupid for that shit, too. Even though no one will say it.”

“No,” I answer, right away. “If anything, I think it’s pretty damn impressive that you came through all that without losing your fighting spirit, Noah.” I fix him with a tentative smile. “And I’m glad that you’re letting yourself trust people, even after Ralph. I know it can’t be easy for you.”

A shadowy smile rises on Noah’s face.

“Raj and Mel make it easier,” he says.

“I bet. Raj is such a cupcake, he wouldn’t lie to you. And Mel will tell you exactly what she’s thinking, usually right to your face.”

Noah laughs, his dark expression clearing. His eyes glint silver, just for a moment.

“I…” He rubs his arm with inky fingers, then breaks into a smile. “I gotta say, it feels pretty fucking good. Nice to just - rest easy. Even if I can’t make myself do it all the time.”

I grin at Noah, pop him one on the shoulder. Before I can say anything else, someone calls for us.

“Hey, boys!” It’s Raj, yelling from downstairs. “Are there no batteries up there? I can take the ones out of my power drill, if we need to!”

Noah sits up at once, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Don’t do that, dude! Those are eighteen volt, high output batteries, that’s - not a good idea!”

“How many volts do we need?” Raj calls back.

“Not eighteen, not for an Xbox controller,” Noah laughs. He hops up out of the bed, stretches his arms again, and nods at me. “C’mon, dude, let’s get down there before Raj tries to saw a power drill battery in half.”

I follow after Noah, but a soft voice calls out to us when we’re almost downstairs.

“Noah, Jamie.”

We both turn to find Melanie at the top of the stairs. She’s in a loose, cherry-red dress, her eyes half-open and drowsy, her braid coming undone. Nik is bundled in her arms. Passed out with her mouth open, her tiny fingers grasping a fistful of red fabric.

“Hey,” Noah says warmly, his grey eyes brightening.

“Mmm, hello,” Melanie yawns, her voice rough with sleep.

She descends the steps, coming to join us. Noah goes up a step to meet her. He gently smooths a hand over Nik’s back, then lifts his gaze to Melanie.

“Did we wake you up?” he asks, wincing. “I’m sorry.”

“Nope, this one did.” Mel nods down at Nikita. “But that’s fine. I slept for way longer than I meant to, anyways. I probably look like a disaster.”

Noah tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Funny, I was just gonna say that you look gorgeous.”

Mel gives him a small, sleepy smile. “Where’s Raj?”

“Raj, is, um - on fire. Don’t worry about it.” Noah puts one hand against the wall, blocking Melanie’s path down the stairs, and leans his face in close to hers. “I’m right here, though.”

“Wow!” Raj yells, from the living room. “I heard that!”

“He doesn’t sound like he’s on fire,” Melanie giggles.

Noah drags the tip of his nose over hers. “Well, then, he probably doesn’t need us right now.”

“I’m coming over there!” Raj shouts, and Melanie laughs. She brushes a kiss onto Noah’s mouth, threads her fingers through his, and leads the way downstairs. Nik shifts sleepily against her chest, grouchy-faced even when she’s knocked out.

Noah, on the other hand, is smiling from ear to ear, and I find myself doing the same as I follow him into the living room.

The flames in the fireplace are snapping and popping, and flurries of snow are falling beyond the windows. Everyone is right where we left them. Raj and Aiden have the controllers. Ripley is between them on the couch, folding clothes from the small mountain of clean laundry.

The house isn’t a disaster, like it was the first time we came over to clean up, but Noah said it himself: Nik is a full-time job. We all agreed that the parents in the group should get a break, every now and then, so we’ve developed a whoever isn’t playing is folding system. This way we can hang out and help out at the same time.

Aiden offers Ripley the controller, and they switch seats. Ripley opens up the equipment screen to rearrange some armor, while Aiden starts turning socks the right side out.

“Perfect timing,” he rumbles, as I step into the living room. “Did not want you to see how bad I was doing, Jamie.”

“I’m - sure you were doing great,” I answer, to barely-suppressed laughter from Ripley.

“There’s my girls,” Raj says brightly, his eyes lingering on Mel and Nik. Then he turns to Noah, frowning deeply. “And there’s my bastard, betraying, horrible-”

“Okay,” Noah laughs, tossing him the batteries. “Just-”

“All three of you, really. Conspiring against me.” Raj clicks his tongue loudly. “I’m so mad. Who wants to get in trouble first?”

“How about Nik?” Mel suggests, holding her out. “Go ahead, really let her have it.”

“I will!” Raj accepts Nik and sets her on his lap, cradling her head in his hand. He takes one look at her sleeping face, and his faux-angry expression falls apart. His brown eyes instantly fill up with love. “Oh, my god,” he groans, pressing his fingers to his mouth. “Never. Mind. Just nevermind.”

Noah and Mel both laugh, as does Aiden.

“Honestly,” he chuckles, “How does Nik have the grouchiest face, but if you look at it while you’re trying to make a grouchy face-”

“May as well pack it up,” Noah agrees, breaking into a wide grin. “I know. I would run through fire for that crabby lil' face.”

“You would run through fire if someone bet you ten dollars that you couldn’t, dude,” Ripley laughs.

“Fine, Nik is excused.” Raj points an accusing finger at Noah. “But you better start praying for forgiveness, because I’m bringing the fury.”

Noah looks down at Raj like he’s a kitten in the window of a pet shop.

“Alright,” he says, around an affectionate laugh. “Believe that when I see it.”

I move to sit next to Aiden. He’s all cozied up on the couch, looking like a perfect snuggle opportunity. He raises his blue eyes to me when I draw closer, and my heart trips over itself.

“Hey,” he says quietly, as Mel, Ripley, and Noah begin debating whether or not Raj is actually capable of fury. “What are you thinking about?”

I was looking into his sweet, familiar face, thinking that Noah is right. It’s so much easier, to love someone you really trust.

“Nothing,” I sigh happily, and cuddle up against Aiden’s side.