There is a long silence when I reach the end of my story. Jamie, Aiden, and Kasey all simply look at me.

They’ve been listening with rapt attention, though I noticed some odd reactions as I spoke. The way that everyone looked sharply at each other at the mention of Caleb Callahan, and then again when I told of Ariana’s attempt to rescue me.

Now, everyone only looks sorrowful. Jamie’s brown eyes are wide and pained; Aiden’s are closed, his jaw tensed, his hand locked tightly around Jamie’s. Kasey is leaning back against the porch railing, her arms folded over her chest and her dark eyes fixed unwaveringly on my face.

No one speaks, so I keep going, if only to fill the silence.

“I like to think I might have made it, even after my fall, if circumstances had been different. I knew the river so well. But the quake made it run at a retrograde current. Quite literally, the water was flowing backwards, and I could not get my bearings. I believe I impacted with a sawyer-”

“What’s that?” Aiden asks. He’s the first one to say anything yet.

“It’s a partially uprooted tree, floating in a river.” Jamie sounds a little numb, like he’s answering automatically. “But the roots are still embedded enough to hold on, so the tree grows right out of the water.”

I nod at him. “Yes. I - cannot say for sure, but I think that I hit one. After that, I could not do much, and then all of the felled trees that had been thrown into the water - they - I was-”

“Crushed to death,” Aiden says softly, quoting the incident report. “And drowned.”

“Yes.” I take a shaking breath, shuddering at the memory. “And so I sunk to what I thought would be my lasting rest.”

Kasey has not moved, nor made a sound, but now she straightens up.

Wordlessly, she wraps her arms around me, and rests her head against my chest.

The contact, her warmth, her gentle breathing - with these, she begins to pull me out of the nightmare, back to the present.

Jamie and Aiden exchange a look, and then move to join us. I find myself in the first group hug I’ve ever been a part of. It’s an odd feeling, especially because Aiden and Jamie cannot touch us, but they must be used to pseudo-hugging Kasey. They link their arms around the two of us, and the team stands together in close silence.

I have relived that awful night in my head countless times. But I was always alone, before. I have never had sympathy for it, never been held like this after its retelling.

I am… comforted. This feels like - release. Like I’ve just exhaled two hundred years of speechless grief. Somehow, a tremendous weight has just been lifted from me.

I drop my head, push my nose into Kasey’s soft, ink-black hair. Thinking that one doesn’t need to shed tears, to cry. It truly can be all internal.

Eventually, Aiden and Jamie step away, giving me some room. Kasey seems reluctant to let me go, but she does the same. I run a hand through my hair, blinking hard, trying to steady myself out.

“What happened after that?” Aiden asks. “Why did Newman cover it up?”

“Starr was a deeply religious man,” I explain. “Newman feared that if word reached him of the scheme, and then of the quake, Starr would see it as a visitation of Providence. An act of God, a sign. He would pull his investment immediately.”

Aiden frowns, confused. “How would he find out, though?”

“Starr decided to visit Ketterbridge after the earthquake, to see the damage to the operations. When Newman got word he was coming, he made moves to tie up all the loose ends. Anyone who could be accurately suspected of involvement, anyone who Starr might see fit to question if he caught wind of what had happened - Newman got rid of them.”

“Um.” Jamie shivers, hugging himself. “Got rid of them?”

“Yes. The beat crew men were seen at the tavern, so they could not be suspected. Newman let them alone. Caleb Callahan was with his father and sister, therefore also beyond suspicion. But the others, the ones who carried out the orders… Newman either had them fired or driven from town. Pierce was sent back to London in cuffs on the next trading ship to leave the port. Newman had him snatched from the men’s quarters in the dead of the night. And my death, so late, on company property, so close to the farmhouses that had been accosted - I suppose that Newman thought it could look suspicious.”

Kasey nods slowly.

“It could have given some credibility to a story that Starr would have no reason to believe, otherwise,” she says. “Make him start asking questions. And if someone did decide to talk, it would be confirmation of their story. Especially if that person was Ariana.”

“Yes. Newman decided it would be cleaner if I’d died during a workday accident. It was easy to cover up. Ariana was the only witness. She was forced into silence by her father, who was one of Newman’s company men. And… that was it.”

Kasey lets out a heavy breath, then rests a hand on my arm.

“I’m so sorry, Will,” she says quietly. “That’s such a terrible way for your body to die.”

I tip my head to the side, surprised by her phrasing. I have not thought about it like that before. That this was only the death of my body, not of me. That I never truly died, but lived on.

Somehow, unbelievably, this thought makes the memory of that night the tiniest bit less painful.

“Do not feel sorry,” I answer. “It’s long past, now.”

“Just because something happened a long time ago, that doesn’t make it unimportant. You’re proof of that.” Kasey gives my arm a gentle squeeze. “And I’m a historian, so I’m proof of that, too.”

I gaze down at her with grateful eyes. The telling of this was hard for me, and her understanding goes a long way.

“I’ve wondered about my final living moments for so long,” I admit. “The earthquake - it was impossible to predict. And Ariana should not have known where to find me. Yet somehow she knew I was in trouble, and she came to save me.” The old ache stirs within me, at my very core. “She was so close. We almost had hold of each other. But I suppose that fate had already decided I should die that night.”

“Actually, Will,” Aiden says, “I think that fate did everything it possibly could to save you, that night.”

I stare at him, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Before I can say anything in response, Kasey threads her fingers through mine.

“Are you sleeping here, Jamie?” she asks.

“Yes, he is,” Aiden says firmly, taking Jamie’s hand again.

“So no one’s at your place? Noah isn’t crashing on the couch, or…?”

“Nope.” Jamie leans back against Aiden, who keeps tight hold of his hand. “It’s free. All yours.”

Kasey looks up at me. “You want to go there, Will? I know that this was a lot for you.”

I am slowly growing accustomed to being around all three of them at once, but it’s still difficult for me, and I have already said much tonight. I nod at Kasey, then turn to Jamie and Aiden. I’m not sure what to say, but Jamie speaks, first.

“Thank you for telling us, man,” he says. “Can we talk more about it, when you’re feeling up to it?”

“Yes, of course. I’m sure I have not answered all of your questions.”

Aiden smiles at me. “We’ll talk soon.”

I nod, start to turn away. Then I stop, turn back, and make myself look Jamie in the eyes, then Aiden.

“Thank you for listening,” I say quietly. “You have no idea what it means, for someone to listen.”

~~~~

Kasey and I reappear in the semi-darkness of Jamie’s apartment. The lights are off, but moonlight is pouring in through the windows.

And, of course, Kasey has her own glow.

She releases my hand, then takes off her jacket and shoes, sets them aside. I remove my boots, following her lead, and let her guide me into the living room.

She goes directly to the window. She stands there, kneading her palm, unusually silent.

I hesitate, then go to Kasey. I’m not sure what she’s thinking, so I wait for her to say something. Watch the way the moonlight spills through her.

“I liked what you said,” I tell her, eventually. “That it was only my body that died. Not me.”

The corners of her mouth turn up in a small smile, and her dark eyes flit to me.

“Non Omnis Moriar,” she answers.

I’m surprised to discover that I can smile so soon after speaking of my darkest moment.

“You’ll have to forgive me, Miss Lavoe, if my Latin is not up to par with yours.”

She laughs, a soft rush of breath. “It means - I shall not wholly die.”

I gaze down into Kasey’s face, something turning over in my heart, pushing against my ribs, unfolding like wings. I take her hand, bring it to my mouth, kiss her knuckles. She watches me closely, her eyes glimmering.

“Fitting words, those,” I tell her.

The lingering traces of my painful memories are fading from my mind. Clarity slowly breaks over me, reminding me where - and when - I am.

A car goes past outside. There’s the hum of its motor, the movement of headlights. The sound of tires on pavement. Jamie’s apartment comes into sharper view around me, with all of its modern fixings. There is snow on the windowsill. There was no snow, that night I died.

But I place myself best by simply looking at Kasey. I could not be here with her, could not have her hand in mine, if this was the distant past. She roots me firmly in the present, because she is my present, and, I hope, my future.

I’m looking down at her with open adoration in my eyes. Kasey, I can tell, has not quite noticed. She’s deep in thought, working her way through the information I gave her tonight.

And I would guess that she has something else on her mind, too.

“Will,” she says slowly, “There are some things that I haven’t told you, yet. About what happened to you, and why. How you ended up a ghost. I’m not trying to keep things from you, I just - I figured you were already going through a lot, coming back into your form. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. But you deserve the truth, and - it’s not up to me, to decide when you should hear it. I think you just need to tell me when you feel ready. So - do you want to hear it, now?”

I take a moment to consider her offer. My curiosity pulls at me, of course. I have waited so long for answers.

But…

“Another time.” I trace my thumb over her knuckles. “I have just come back to myself from those memories, and I’d rather stay here, tonight. With you.”

Kasey seems relieved. She quickly sinks back into thought.

“All that,” she says, “And then you were alone, for two hundred years.” She closes her eyes, but I catch the flash of pain that moves through them. “My god, I don’t even know what to say.”

“You saved me,” I tell her, squeezing her fingers. “You, Aiden, and Jamie - you saved me. That is all that needs to be said.”

She’s quiet for a moment.

“You know, Will… you saved me, too.”

I stare at her, caught completely by surprise. Kasey blinks hard and fast, looking anywhere but at me.

“I mean, Jamie and Aiden can see me, but - I thought I was alone in this, until you. I don’t know how to feel right now, because - my heart is broken about what happened to you, but if it hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t be here with me. And while I’m so sorry that the world took you from Ariana, I’m also really, really glad that it gave you to me. Maybe that’s wrong, but - I can’t help it.”

My heart seems to be melting, spreading warmth throughout my body.

“That is nothing to feel guilty over,” I answer earnestly. “That is of great consolation to me, Kasey. To know that there was a reason.” I tuck a strand of raven hair behind her ear. “To know that there was something I was needed for. Something I was waiting for. Something worth all the time I spent alone.”

Kasey’s cheeks color. Her eyes blink down and away from my face. She begins to fidget with my suspenders, hiding her smile.

The warmth within me spreads and spreads. My heart is lifting by swift degrees, like a climb up a musical scale. Something is building within me, and I’m aware that I - want something.

I’m not sure what. But I want it.

“That’s a wild thing to say,” Kasey suddenly laughs, though her cheeks are still pink. “Are you saying that being with me is worth two hundred years of waiting? How long would have been too long for you, then? Three hundred years? Four?”

I curl my knuckles beneath her chin, guide her face up, and look into her eyes.

“You ask me to set a price on something priceless,” I murmur.

Kasey stares up at me, then bites her lip. She lifts a hand to my face. Without breaking her gaze from mine, she very gently smooths her thumb over the scar on my jaw.

I hold perfectly still, entranced.

I adore so much about her. Her deft mind, the way she moves, the way she laughs and speaks, how she thinks. Her endless and unwavering defiance, her wit, her passion for her convictions. But I am so deeply moved by her beauty, too. She is an earthbound angel, looking up at me with moonlit black eyes.

“It sounds like you were different, back then,” she says.

I assume that Kasey is referring to the fact that I once could stand unflinching before a large, gathered group, and speak loudly for what I believe in. Whereas now I can barely handle any eyes on me at all, even when I am silent.

Two centuries of unbroken solitude changes things.

But that night, that person - that was me, and is me. I have changed, but I’m not done changing yet. When I was first summoned, I could not have let Kasey’s gaze linger on me for this long. Nor could I have managed the feeling of her gently touching my jaw, as she is now.

“I am not so different,” I tell her. “I’m only… finding my way back to myself.”

Kasey nods slowly, then lets out a pained sigh.

“I hate that you never got a chance to be with the person you love. Not the way you wanted to, anyways. That’s so unfair.”

I hesitate over my answer, but meet her eyes when I say it.

“Kasey… what’s left undone in life can be finished by a ghost.”

She freezes, staring up at me, utterly silent. Then she steps closer to me, and spreads both hands on my chest.

The restless warmth within me begins to burn like fire. I take Kasey by the waist, and she lets out a little breath, the only sound to break the hush between us. She lifts her face to mine, and I bend to put my nose to hers.

We both go still.

I can feel the heat of her beneath my hands, on my mouth, against my nose. I am spellbound, suspended in this moment, like it might be everlasting.

Kasey is right. I was more confident, when I lived. More bold. Always ready to take the leap, to trust my heart.

But I am right, too. I’m not so different from who I was back then. And what my heart wants is suddenly very clear to me. I think that Kasey wants the same.

So I kiss her.

Kasey’s hands move, slide up the nape of my neck and into my hair. She kisses me back, and my heart feels ready to burst. I am immersed in beautiful sensation after beautiful sensation. The softness of Kasey’s lips, the feeling of her fingers wound through my hair, of her breath mingling with mine. The way she is melting against me. Our hearts pounding together.

There are heights beyond life, as it turns out. I am leaping, ascending, soaring from peak to higher peak.

Non Omnis Moriar, I think, and sweep Kasey into my arms.