Anakin felt numb. The situation he wasin felt completely surreal. He was in the hospital, where his wife gave birth to his kids. He was supposed to be a daddy of twins, a boy and a girl. He was holding his wife's hand, supporting her, everything was going fine. Until she suddenly widened her eyes and stopped moving. The doctors and nurses pushed him out of the room. He remembers that he was screaming and crying, demanding to know what was going on. Though in the back of his head he knew that his family won't be full anymore and his life will change dramatically.
When the doctor finally came to him he couldn't fully understand him. He felt dazed. He registered single words like 'kids','wife', that he was sorry and that they did everyhitng they could. Then he was allowed to see Padme for the last time.
He sat at her bed and cried his eyes out in pain. He suffered from losing the love of his life, but also he was terrified. How will he raise the kids on his own? He didn't understand how could it happen. Everything was going fine, until one moment. He wished he died instead. For a moment he wanted to kill himslef or leave the kids in the hospital and run, but then he asked himslef what would Padme think about him and how disappointed she would be if he did that. He wiped the tears from his eyes and got up. He kissed her cold lips one last time. The feeling made him let out more painful sobs, but he did all he could to compose himslef. Still he felt crushed by the recent events, it all happened so fast. He knew had to be strong and face his new reality, but he didn't know how. Suddenly he felt unbelievably helpless and he hated that. All he wished for at that moment was for it all to turn out to be just a nightmare, that he will wake up from and forget it during the day. Unfortunately it wasn't the case this time.
A week later Anakin was allowed to take his son and daugther home. For the past week he found the house painfully quiet. Now he had someone to take his mind off of the silence, he had the kids to take care of. His mother was willing to help him, but he refused at first. He changed his mind when he realized that someone would have to watch over Luke and Leia when he would be at work, or simply show him how to care for an infant properly.
-That's not how it supposed to be. - he sighed, looking at his sleeping kids. He didn't cry anymore, nor scream in agony. He felt dead inside and in some kind of way it brought him some peace.
Time skip
Anakin kept himself busy with work. He did all he could to provide for his kids, but life likes to mess with people. The frustration and stress were taking their toll on him, resulting in often outbursts of anger. After that he felt empty again.He was grateful that his mother was taking Luke and Leia to her house during the week. Anakin spent weekends with them. Sometimes he felt like he was getting visitations after a divorce more than being asingle parent himself. But it was for the best. He didn't want the kids to be around him when he was drunk out of his mind. He knew it was wrong and dangerous, but he was desperate for release of stress or at least something that will help him forget about the reality.
His bitter thoughts were
interrupted when Luke started crying. It was the time to feed him and
his sister, so Anakin prepared the bottles for them. Then he started
feeding them. The milk was quickly drank. Anakin washed the bottles and
sat down in front of Luke and Leia. He started playing with them, still
being as careful as he could with them. He smiled lightly hearing the
kids' giggles. He knew, that these kids were his biggest treasure, after
all it's all he has left after Padme, apart from the memories.
Comments (0)
See all