ARUS' POV
You know what? I was never a d*ck when it comes to help people but this case is different. This is the most ineluctable issue in my hand before my eyes and I was trying to not have a heart attack right here. Leila was looking at my eyes not comperehendingly and was angry at me. Felt guilty about that boy. Ofcourse she knew this is not my normal attitude and it was hard for her to understand why I was trying to kick this boy off to the streets again. Without even thinking or pitty on him. If she knew...
I was gay. But nobody knew this. I couldn't tell anybody. Just I had no balls to expose myself even to my beloved wife. I was always gay. Since middle school I knew it. Nobody noticed my struggle. Nobody asked me if I am. Nobody even got suspicious about it. So I kept it deep in my heart. My first biggest secret. I'd never known what would happen if I told to my parents or friends and never will. I just met Leila in high school, loved her. Got married after high school and left everybody behind me, moved to another city. I truely loved her. Maybe not in love but loved her. I loved Leila with all my heart. Not trying to convince myself, no. She was my best friend, my life partner, my dreamcatcher. I could not live without her. She was my home. My anchor to this life whenever I lost my way. I could not dare to lose her for good. I've never hurt her...Or... never let her to know that I hurt her without her knowledge.
Two years ago I was alone at home. Leila was away with her friends for two days vacation. She asked me if it was ok and I said why not. So she went and I was getting bored at home. Decided to walk around the town. I saw a long line at an entrance for a club. I was just looking and trying to figure out what kind of club was that. And decided to go on my stroll around just before bump into that drunk girl in front of the line.
"Heeyy watch out handsome!" she said
"I am sorry I didn't see you. Please go ahead." I said while gesture with my hand to the entrance.
"Nooo. You cannot save yourself easily and run away mister. You will come with me" she said and took my arm and drag me into the club. Without noticed I was in the club. This was the first time without Leila and I felt lonely. It was really weird and texted her to ask how was her day going. 'We are going to the club here to dance. Please do something and have fun. I fell guilty to have fun without you." she texted me. 'I will' I wrote and sent to her.
When we reached at the bar I ordered two drinks and she drank it in a heart beat.
"I am going to dance come with me" she said but I shook my head contiuned to my drink. I didn't know what the bartender gave us I just said two drink and he gave me this bright yellow liquids. I tasted really good. When it was finished I was already felt tipsy. Ordered the second one. That girl didn't come back yet and I was alone looking around. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned my back.
"Hey, do you mind if I sit here and act as if we are friends?"said one young boy.
"Uhm...Sure I guess?" I said hesitantly. And then he sat just beside me. Ordered the same yellow liquid for himself.
"From who you are hiding? If there is a danger it is better for me to know, right?"
"Don't worry there is no danger here. I just keep my distance with the guy behind that column. He insists to keep me as his even if we just met. I swear I saw hearts pour out from his eyes while looking at me."
I could say he was drunk. Very very drunk. And drank his yellow liquid in one gulp. I drank mine, too. Now I was drunk, too. He took my hand and drag me to the dance floor in the middle of the club. My head was spinning. He put his hands on my shoulders and began to sway. Music was good, alcohol was good, dance was good. I was not thinking anything except to dance with the boy. It was the first time in my life I came close to a boy. I put my hands on his waist. We did dance. And drank. And dance again.
My head was on clouds maybe even higher. What they did serve in this yellow headache I didn't know. But it tasted good so we went on drinking that shit. His head was on my shoulder now and we were sitting at the bar. I was trying to keep myself awake. I patted his cheek and he turned his head without raise from my shoulder.
"Yeah?" he breathed to my neck. And it tickled. Something in my stomach began to wriggle. Butterflies? No they were showing up when you fall in love. This was something else. Something hotter than butterflies. My hands were sweating. Was it because of excitement or fear? Maybe both? I wanted to run away from him - or keep his hand in mine and run away with him? I couldn't think anymore. "Let's dance" he shouted suddenly and took my hand in his. Dragged me to the dance floor again. It was late and I should have gone to home already. Instead I danced with that drunk boy again. He put his hands on my neck's both sides and I put mine on his waist again. He got closer to my face while we were dancing and looked into my eyes. His eyes were half opened and shining by intoxication. He put his cheek on mine. Closed the distance between us and continued to sway his hip. I could felt his member on mine. I was petrified. I felt his tongue on my jaw line and shuddered. I had no power to drag myself out of his magnetic aura. He sucked my chin. I could not felt my legs now. And he kissed me. Softly. Like didn't want my lips hurt. Like an ice cream you coutiously eat to not finish it quickly. Yeah. But I was melting. He kissed me again and again and I was kissing him back without even realizing it. He got the answer he looked for and stopped dancing. Take my hand in his again and we went to the back side of the club. I saw a very narrow upstairs. He went up through the stairs me behind him and opened the door to a room with a single bed. He throw me on it and landed himself on me. My brain was having a battle with my body. I was sure when Leila suggested me to have fun this was not what she meant. Leila...
"Stop. We need to stop. I can't do this. I shouldn't do..." my last words were in his mouth now. He swallowed them easily. Kissed me hungrily. I was sure he was not seeing me. Not even knew who was beneath him. He was just floating by desire and taking me by himself. To the dreamland. To the longest waterfall to fall together. He took my shirt off and opened my jeans button. His hand were now in my boxer and grabbed me. My brain lost the battle. I did the same with his shirt and took it off. First time in my life a male body-a very good shaped male body- was on me. I touched his chest with both of my hand and caressed. I kissed his neck, his chest and took one nipple in my mouth. My hand was in his brief now and I grabbed him. He lost himself. I was sure if there was somebody outside of the room could easily listen our moans, groans and breaths. He took all of his clothes off and took mine off too. Now we were completely naked. I flipped us and now he was beneath me. There was nothing we could use to make it smooth and painless but didn't care. I didn't mention that it was my first time with a man. I was not in that state of mind to think his pain or if I did it correctly or not. My sanity ropes to the life was broke off. He was impatient. He pulled me toward himself and I was inside his tight back. He screamed by pain and then by pleasure. The desire kept in me for years found a way out now. I was madly thrust inside him and he kept the rythm with me. In and out. I lost myself. He lost himself. We were falling down from the biggest waterfall now. That was the most fascinating thing in my whole life I've ever experienced. After all the falling ended and we landed on dead waters, I pulled out of him and laid down beside him. We were panting.
"Wow...that was good" he mumbled while laughing.
"Yeah..." I said.
"Now I'm gonna sleep… yeah." he said while his eyes were closing.
I left the bed and took my clothes to put on. Turned my back to look at him again to burn his face in my mind. His eyes were closed and he was smiling. Very handsome young man. My first man.
"What's your name?" I asked.
He tried to open his eyes. Couldn't. Sighed and said as a whisper;
"Earth... My name is Earth."
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