What can you do if you are feeling spacey or low? The more you seek the feeling of control, the more you may find today’s expansive energy hard to accept. A change in habit could make a difference in your feelings. Getting out socially and going with the flow is ideal.

~Daily Zodiac App Monday, July 27, 2020

“And then I was accused of being ‘just another man looking to take advantage of anyone I could find’,” I whined. “I hardly said more than ‘there, there’ and suddenly I’m a shining example of the scum race that is ‘all men’, which is ironic because…” shut my mouth.

“Because what?” Ryan asked.

I wanted to point out he himself was a shining example of the “scum race” that Sam hated so much. A comment better left for dinner with Megan tonight. 

“Doesn’t matter, the point is that it should have been me storming out. I was the poor attempt at a rebound.”

Ryan placed a gentle hand on my back.” That’s a tough break. But don’t worry, it’s Monday.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Work my sorrows away?”

“No, it means it’s time for the beautiful Ms. Chen’s weekly visit. She’ll sweep you right off your feet. Just remember to invite me to the wedding.”

Looked over at Julia “He’s right. She’s been after Ryan since he started here. One look at your handsome face and I’m sure she’ll change targets.”

“Are you saying Tommy is better looking than I am?” 

“You’re both equally handsome. But you’ve been turning her down for so long, I’m sure she’ll love the opportunity for fresh meat.”

What kind of woman had the confidence to openly flirt with a bank teller? Did she work for an international company? But those transactions are usually handled by other departments. If she visited the international transactions counter every week, she had to be rich. Maybe she was some kind of celebrity? 

Why did Ryan turn her down? A beautiful, confident—possibly wealthy—woman chasing after him every week and he wasn’t interested? To avoid scandal with a client? Maybe she just wasn’t his type? Was it possible that it was because his type was more like my type?

“Konichiwa Tan-san,” Ryan said, the sudden mix of Taiwanese and Japanese interrupting my small fantasy. I hadn’t noticed Ms. Chen’s tiny frame walk up to our counter. The medical mask couldn’t hide the elderly woman’s smile as she replied in her own mix of the two languages. 

“I’ll be back,” Ryan said, offering his arm to Ms. Chen. As they shuffled to one of the other counters, I could make out a few words of their conversation. I had watched enough anime school boys crushing on girls to understand the lavish compliments on her beauty. 

“She doesn’t speak Mandarin,” Julia said. “One day Ryan was in the front lobby helping with something and heard her struggling to talk with another teller. He knows enough Taiwanese to understand her, and she understands Japanese well enough from when she was young, so they mixed the two to talk. Since then she just comes to his counter for everything.”

Ryan helped her sit comfortably at the insurance counter, scurried off to get her some water, and knelt down beside her to translate. Each word shared between the two turned back the clock, leaving a vibrant woman sitting next to my colleague.

“Sometimes she comes in just to withdraw a few dollars and stays to chat for half an hour.”

If only I could meet a guy that sweet. The sea I swam in teamed with sharks on the hunt. I needed to transfer to a sea with better fish. Where was the sea with plenty of Ryan fish? Maybe it was time to pay a visit to my fortune teller and see if she can’t point me in the right direction.

A stack of papers plopped in front of my face, shaving at least a year off my life. “Here, you can help with Ryan’s paperwork so he doesn’t get behind while helping Ms. Chen. You’ll get some extra practice, and it will get that dreamy stare off your face before people start to notice.”

Crap. This is why I shouldn’t be allowed outside. Now the whole office was going to know. I couldn’t lose this job. It was so hard to get, and quitting after a week wouldn’t help finding a new one. I could barely afford my bills as it was. If I wanted to stay in Taipei, I needed this job. I had to fix it. 

“No, I wasn’t—” Julia raised her hand to cut me off.

“The panic in your eyes gives you away even more.”

“Please don’t—”

“I won’t. Calm down. Just start on item seven.”

I picked up the papers and started typing a slew of numbers and banking codes. Julia had the wrong idea. I didn’t have a thing for Ryan. I just wished I could find a guy like him. After all these terrible dates, it was nice to see that nice guys still existed in the world. That was all.

Working through currency rate calculations helped me calm down. I only needed to focus till lunch and explain the situation rationally. Then she wouldn’t have the wrong idea, and everything could go back to normal.

“I’ll listen to my stars for today and not burn my energy trying to control the situation,” I muttered.

“What situation?” Ryan asked right over my shoulder. I wished people would stop startling years off my life.

“All my bad dates. I’ve decided to just move on.”

“Great to hear. Let’s go out tonight.” Forget the years lost from people dropping in on my thoughts, I was going to die at my desk. How could he ask that so calmly? Was I so spaced out that Julia told him without me noticing?

“What?”

“To celebrate your first week here.” He turned to Julia. “You’re free tonight?”

“Sounds fun,” she replied.

“Tommy?” Ryan asked.

“Sure.” Any other time and I wouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. “I’ll text my friend and tell her to meet me for dumplings tomorrow.” I took out my phone and avoided all eye contact.

(Tommy) I don’t think I can make it tonight.

(Megan) Not feeling well?

(Megan) Lovesick? Are you standing me up for some lame guy?

(Tommy) No! Why is everyone assuming that today?

(Megan) I was only joking. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

(Tommy) My coworkers want to take me out for a welcome dinner.

(Tommy) That’s all.

(Megan) Suspicious.

(Tommy) Would I lie to you?

(Megan) No, but you would lie to yourself.

(Tommy) I’ll see you tomorrow for dumplings?

(Megan) See you then!

“Everything okay?” Ryan asked. “You seem flustered.”

I pointed at the paper in front of me. “How do I enter this data?”