In the following days after Amber’s assault, Leo did something he never thought he would do in his lifetime: he made a phone call to Richter. 

“I knew it. Bitch was crazy nutso. Yes, come on over.”

Considering Leo’s state of mind since the incident, this may seem like true desperation. Like he finally cracked under the pressure of his own curse. That was about half of it in his mind. The other half came from the observations his socially deprived mind could see about Richter. Richter smiled more, he talked with him more. Didn’t shake as much or stop to take his medicine for whatever has plagued him for the three months of school they have had. To Leo, who has only seen the suffering and decline of everyone around him, this was a miracle: a ray of hope. When Leo showed up at Richter’s apartment, Richter handed Leo a beer and ice cream

The apartment was a single, but spacious. It was suspiciously too clean. The kitchen space was wiped down, the floor was fully vacuumed, the couch was open and the tv-stand cleared. The only messy bit was his desk, which lay ruined to the point Leo could hardly see the surface, a sign of how the apartment is normally configured. The whole living room was rigged with a sound system connected to his computer: a tower that appeared more high tech than anything Leo’s touched. A door on the right opened to a small hallway where there was a bathroom and a privacy curtain for Richter’s bedroom. Richter gestured towards the couch.

“I’ve never had a beer before.” Leo said, plainly relaxed. He didn’t care what tone he used anymore. His permanently annoyed voice never worked on Richter anyway. Why not try just talking normally. He dug into the ice cream.
Richter smiled and sat next to him. The couch was spacious. “You don’t seem like someone who’s played a lot of video games but is in desperate need of a video game.”

“My dad’s going to kill me.”

“More reason to sit down and play a game...and drink.” Richter shoved a controller into Leo’s hands and turned on his PlayStation 4. 

“What are you going to do? What am I playing?”

“I’ve got shit to do. I’m skipping classes here. For you, my lion. Half the point of this game is to figure it out, so figure it out.” He sat at his desktop and clicked around, ignoring Lionel. 

Something like heat felt as if it was rising in Leo’s chest and up his neck. He tried to hold it down, but it was a slippery heat, like a worm in warm, wet dirt. It wriggled towards his mouth, but at the moment, the voice he’s always listened to popped into his head. His father’s voice. You are Nadir. You know what you do to people. Don’t you dare speak. He realized his mouth was open, that his hands were shaking, and he felt that warmth moving up to his eyes, desiring to be released. 

“Goddamnit Leo, just say it, but you better be playing the game too. It won’t even take that long. Grab another drink if you need-”

“Why are you so distant now of all times!” Leo had had enough. Richter was supposed to help. Richter was always the clingy one. It was always Richter. “You’ve always been in my face, always there, always talking to me. I came to you for one day and now you’re off on your own doing whatever. I need-”

“No you don’t. You’re Lionel Nole. You don’t need anyone.” Richter moved from his seat and stood over Lionel. He punched the couch. “You’re not here for me to listen to you. You’ve never needed me to listen to you. Don’t you lie to yourself. You’ve never treated me like I was your friend, but dammit, I need you to be mine and let me do this. Now play the goddamn game.”

Richter was shaking again. The shaking and twitching had lessened for the past few weeks, but here it was in full throttle now. He cursed himself and opened a cabinet facing the living room area. Inside was a large collection of drugs. He opened three different pill bottles. Leo didn’t count how many he swallowed. He started the game. 

It wasn’t much. There was a save file, but Leo had a feeling Richter wanted him to start the game anew. At first, Leo felt like he was just guessing. The game gave no indication of what its controls were. He was just a 3D character dressed in some robe. It took a few seconds to figure out how to move. And sort of spin and sing. With nothing to prompt him, he began exploring.

The world felt empty at first. Sand was everywhere. There were run down buildings and caverns, but nothing of life or substance anywhere. As he moved, cinematics played in the background. Why am I here? Leo thought, contemplating this wordless game. Leo stopped thinking the more he played, but he felt the weight of the empty world as he played. His thoughts were lost, wondering how and why and who, but none of those answers came to him. He figured at some point that the controls were simple. His character could now jump and use a scarf to help him travel. 

Mid-way through, another character, another him, appeared. The cloak was different and a bit more filled with color and design, but the character was definitely the same. Leo felt like his space was being intruded, but he didn’t mind the new person sharing his zone. They seemed friendly enough, and Leo quickly discovered, through somewhat malicious designs, that they could not harm each other. Leo moved on to try and complete the level. At some points, however, this newcomer signaled, through various jumps and squeaks that he should follow them. Leo did, for a few turns and a few jumps, but ultimately decided to take a separate path around a snowy structure. By the time they should have joined again, they were gone. There was no trace of his companion anywhere. Leo looked for five minutes before deciding they were gone for good and moving on. 

He felt that the end of the game was coming. The visuals became grand. He missed a few of the jumps now, though it only set him back by a few minutes at most. He climbed the final mountain and entered a wide, snowing, windy region. It was completely flat and barren. He only had one option: move forward. His character moved at a normal pace at first. Simple enough. Slowly, he slowed down. He kept slowing at a steady pace until his speed was slower than a crawl. Eventually, the character fell to his knees and collapsed into the snow amongst hundreds of other graves. Richter turned off the game system. 

“What?” Lionel said with, curling his lips, perplexed. 

“Great isn’t it?” Richter said, standing up from his desk chair. “There’s more, but it honestly ruins it.”

“But. I didn’t get to know anything. I just walked around.” 

“It was cool though, right?”

“I mean, sure. But..”

“You enjoyed it.”

Lionel cracked. “It was surreal. Something happened. Something huge, yet we can’t speak. We can’t remember. All we do is try and keep going.  We can’t communicate. We can only sing and jump and run around. And then we die. It’s so simple, but...” 

He stopped. Lionel suspected what was happening. He wasn’t smiling yet, but the urge was there. It dawned on him as he sat entrenched into the soft couch, that he appreciated Richter for this experience. He raised his brow thoughtfully. He felt no different, but he imagined Richter differently than before. He annoyed Lionel less. Richter sat next to him on the couch and Lionel didn’t feel an immediate discomfort. It settled a few seconds later, but I can’t forget. Nadir. It had a one hundred percent success rate on others. He cannot forget. Yet.... Yet the fact remained: Richter was doing better. He smiled more. His shaking seemed to quell every week. A brightness was in his eyes, and Richter seemed to want more.

“You try to be unreadable but you are so laughably predictable.” Richter said. “Come here.” Considering their physical locations on the couch was next to each other, Leo raised an eyebrow. Richter rolled his eyes and moved his arm to the back of the couch. “God, will you let go of your defense for one night?”

Leo considered what Richter meant. 

“Are you really this dense?”

“I honestly don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”

He moved himself closer. Their legs touched. Richter rested his arm across Leo’s shoulder. His hand rested on Leo’s bicep. He pulled him in. Leo was not a stout boy. He fell into Richter easily, despite being bigger than him. His head rested on his chest. He could feel Richter’s heart beating steadily. 

Leo’s entire body stiffened at first. He understood what Richter meant now. This was the epitome of idiocy. I am going to kill him. The thought drilled itself in his head. At the same time, he felt warm. Leo had never been held in all his memory. His logic failed him as he fell into Richter’s trap and into his lap. How could it be a trap? Richter was healthier by all means. He was smiling. He began to hum the atmospheric tunes from the game Leo played. 

“You know, Leo. I get it, you can’t have friends. But you still need someone, don’t you? You are human, after all.”

Leo’s father was an intelligent man. He found and broke into Leo’s dorm to find nothing. Meanwhile, Leo, unable to sleep on the couch, opened the door into Richter’s bedroom. In the middle of the night, he moved Richter’s privacy curtain aside. He went to lay on Richter’s bed with him. Whether it was instinctive, or not, Leo couldn’t tell; Richter wrapped his arms around Leo’s side. This time, he relaxed into Richter’s body while feeling every sleepy, heavy breath his friend took. Within minutes, Leo fell asleep, with a content, warm feeling that was foreign to the boy.

In the morning, Leo was notified that his father was on the move in the area. He decided to live covertly with Richter for the time being. Richter was ecstatic about this development. He would play the role as Leo’s guardian angel, destined to save him from his maniac father. In reality, Richter was mostly excited to sleep with a boy he found incredibly cute every night (except the one night he asked to reach under his clothes and Leo punched him and forced Richter to sleep on the couch. Richter never tried again). As can be expected between two eighteen year olds suddenly part of a bloom of domesticity, their lives quickly complicated.

Richter was going back to classes. Leo couldn’t risk going to the dining halls. Leo needed to eat and Richter rarely, if ever bought groceries. Naturally, Leo had to leave the apartment for food, but he did not have a key. Richter was reluctant to give Leo his keys. So sometimes, Leo spent hours outside Richter’s apartment, terrified until Richter realized that he should probably give the keys to a boy whose father was trying to kill him.