EARTH’S POV
Next morning I opened my eyes to some voices coming from kitchen. Leila was trying to apologize with a sweet and soft voice and I had no idea about what. Arus didn’t talk much. Just a couple of words or one word answers to her questions. Then some crashing sounds came and Leila was crying. I was curious about their fight but before I got myself out of the room, front door slammed and fight was over. Arus was alone in the middle of the kitchen while leaning on the counter and looking at some point meaningless. He sighed deeply before realized that I was there and looking at him with a curious look.
“…Hey”
“Uhm…Are you ok? I…heard some noises. Is there any problem?” I asked but he didn’t answer. Instead his eyes were scanning my body with a look full of…what was that…lust? Then I realize that I was wearing nothing but my boxers.
“Oh…Sorry about that. I was in a hurry because of…” I trailed off while his gaze locked on me. No talking.
“I think…you…should put on some shirt on you.” He said.
“Ah…ok…right. I’ll be back a bit later then.” I said and went back to my room. I closed the door and leaned my back on it. What was that look? Why were my hands shaking? Just with a look? I went to the closet and took a shirt and a loose sweatpants to put on myself. Went to the bathroom to wash my face and went back to the kitchen to find some breakfast on the kitchen table.
“You want some tea?” he asked without looking at me.
“Yes please.”
He came to the table and we sat to eat some breakfast in silence.
“Where is Leila?” I asked. There was something I couldn’t bear that was tensed silence in a room. I needed to break it. I needed to feel normal.
“She went to another town with a band for tonight. She will stay there and come back tomorrow.” He said. Without looking at me. Again.
“Oh…” Silence came back again. He was not looking at me at all.
“Why didn’t you go with her?” I asked and he looked at me. Finally. His eyes were not friendly or hostile. Maybe just tired.
“The band has a bass guitarist already. They don’t need me. But she insisted to go together. I refused and..you heard the rest.”
I didn’t expect him to explain their fight reason but he did. There was something that we couldn’t look each other long enough to make eye contact. Everywhere but each other’s eyes were more interesting or important.
“So..we are alone today?” I asked and mentally slapped my mouth immediately.
“…Yeah.” He got nervous. Silly me. It was already tensed between us and I didn’t make it better.
“Ok.” I said and shot my mouth.
We continued to eat our breakfast and I reached to the butter knife at the same time with Arus. Our hands touched and our eyes found each other. It was like electric shock which started from our hands and spread all over my body. Maybe his too?
“Sorry.” I said and took my hand back. He mirrored my actions. Our hands were not touching anymore but eyes were still locked. He stood up and took the dirty plates to the sink. I took my crutches and stood up and stand there didn’t know what to do now. He sensed my hesitation.
“You can go back to your room if you want. Or you can do what do you want” he said while doing the dishes.
“Ok. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” I said knowing he will not need me anytime. He nodded and I left the kitchen to go my room. There was nothing to do and I just sit on the bed and looked at my hands. After a while there was a knock at the door. I heard Arus went to the door to open and talked to someone. A bit later he knocked on my door.
“Come on in.” I said
“Hey Earth…Uhm…there is someone at the door wants to see you.” He said a little bit angry and confused.
“Me? How can it be possible Arus? Nobody knows that I am staying here.” I asked very confused.
“You didn’t tell him that you are staying here?”
“Didn’t tell who?
“…Sam. He is here at the door.”
I was shocked. My mouth was open and looking at Arus with puzzled eyes. I was not sure what to do. How many days were passed and he was here now?
“You will not go to see him?” he asked.
“I…I will…I think.” I was not sure but it would be better if I go and see him and ask him why he was here right?
I took my crutches and tried to go to the front door slowly. I didn’t know what should I say to him. Did I want to see him? Now? I looked at Arus and he was like a stone. There was no emotion on his face. He opened the half open door completely for me and left me alone with a gorgeous looking Sam. There was nothing changed on him. He was still good looking, healthy and happy. He smiled at me with his beautiful smile. His eyes were sparkling with happiness. It was not fair. I felt some anger started to built up in me. I looked at him with dead eyes and waited for him to talk.
“Hey Earth.” He said with a pure joy.
“How did you find me?” I asked between my teeth.
“I was looking for you Earth and l’ve looked everywhere you could go but there was no trace of you. I thought something bad happened to you. I was afraid. Searched for the hospitals and found you had an accident. And…here we are.”
“Why are you here?” I asked with more anger.
“I want you to forgive me Earth. I love you. You know I love you. It was a mistake. A big one. I know I am stupid. I am the biggest stupid in the World. Please forgive me Earth. I am really sorry babe.”
“You haven’t called me once. It’s been days since…” I trailed off. I felt tears coming but didn’t want to cry in front of him. Blinked many times.
“Earth…I thought you would not pick up phone so thought it would be better if I find you and talk to you face to face. Earth please come back home. Please.”
“No Sam. Leave.”
“Earth I love you. Please.”
“You love me? Really?” Couldn’t stop the tears now. Shit. “ You cheated on me Sam. With a woman. Are you not gay or what? I was not enough for you? Why did you do this to me?”
“I was scared Earth. It’s been two years with you and I was scared that it’s getting serious and panicked. I thought life is going on with full speed while we are watching tv on our couch with you. I panicked that I am missing so much in life. Please try to understand me. Please.”
“ Sam, I am the one who is younger between us. If there is someone who is missing life with a commitment it is me. Ok? And I was loyal. Never cheated on you in this two years. There is no excuse for what you did. And with a woman?” I was angry and crying like a crazy.
“She is the principle. She somehow managed to…I don’t know. I should resist her tricks and promises and…I know I am wrong Earth. I know I don’t deserve you. But give me a chance please. I don’t want to lose you.”
He tried to touch me but I pushed his hand away.
“Whose house is this? Why are you staying here?” he asked.
“None of your business. You don’t have the right to know anything about me anymore. Leave and never come back again.”
“Earth. Don’t do this. Come home with me please. Don’t leave me.”
I slammed the door close. I was still crying and standing there like Sam took all my energy with him. I didn’t know what to do. Just stand still until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Arus looking at me with a face saying something I didn’t get it. I put my head on his shoulder unconsciously and he put his arm around my shoulders. I couldn’t stop crying. Arus didn’t ask me anything. Probably heard what we talked because I was shouting at Sam. I tried to stop crying by clinging him more.
“Hey. It is ok. He left and you are safe here. Stop crying Earth.” He said. I nodded while my tears were getting less.
“Do you want to watch a movie with me?” he asked with a soft voice. My head was still on his shoulder and he didn’t take his arm back. I was inhaling his scent and my hand was on his chest. His hand was caressing my back slowly. My tears were stopped now but we didn’t notice yet. I looked up at his eyes and locked them with my glossy eyes. Our faces were so close and his breath was on my lips. My eyes were going between his eyes and lips as him. We looked each other for a while and I remembered that he asked me something.
“Yes. I’d love to.” I said like a little child catching while trying to steal cookie.
He smiled nervously and patted my shoulder to make me leave his chest. I did.
“Take a seat at the sofa while I grab some snacks from the kitchen ok? And then we can choose which film we will watch.” He said. I didn’t say anything.
I was looking at his back while he was in the kitchen and thinking what’s going on between us lately. There was a lot of questions in my head like he was not looking at my eyes just this morning why did he change suddenly? And the way he is looking at me, the way his hand on my shoulder just moments before.
I didn’t even realized that there was no Sam in my mind anymore.
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