ARUS’ POV
He was shocked. As me. This was the first time that I realized I am in love with Earth and the first time that I said it even to myself. When that Sam guy came to my door and asked for him, some pain sat on my heart and while they were arguing at the door I felt something that I’ve never felt before…jealousy. I thought he will convince him to go back with him. I thought this was the last time that I would be able to look at his beautiful eyes. I hardly kept myself from interfering them and kick that Sam guy out of his life…our life…
“Do you aware what you are saying Arus?” he asked with disbelief in his eyes with some remaining tears.
“I know you don’t believe me. Maybe even you don’t trust me. But Earth, please please do not refuse me immediately. Just think what we had just a moment ago. Even our breaths not even yet. Just hear me out please?”
“No Arus…this is not love as you believed. This is just lust you bottled up in years. You cannot love me. Don’t you love Leila? “
I knew there was a very intense lust between us and it was undeniable and I knew it would be difficult to convince him since he was very very upset and suprised. He was just shaking his head continuesly as a no.
“I always loved her and always will but that is not as what I felt for you Earth. I know what I feel. I tried to ignore and not think about it since the night we met. I tried to ignore the sparks in my heart since that night after I left you to sleep. I’ve never felt like that for nor a woman neither a man before you. You have to understand me and my feelings towards you. I want you for myself Earth. I want to live a real life.”
“Arus let’s just say that I believed in you, I am not even sure about myself. I don’t know if I love you or not. Maybe this is just lust I felt towards you. I accept that you affected me at that night and because of that I chose you to seduce. I headed towards you like a butterfly to the light. But I cannot say that is love for sure. Do you understand me?”
“I can wait for you to be sure Earth. I lost you once but after this night I cannot lose you again. I want to be with you from now on.”
“What about Leila?” he was suffering while he was mentioning her name. I could understand he felt he was indepted for her. But after so many years I kept myself back and was thoughtful of her and others, I didn’t want to think about anyone except myself and Earth. I knew it was selfish but if I couldn’t do this for myself now, I would never do this again. This time was my last bullet. My last chance to live my real life.
“She will understand when she hear me. Just be mine and beside me. I will talk to her when she came back tomorrow. Please be there for me, ok?”
He didn’t open his mouth to respond me. He put his head in his two hand and cried silently. I panicked. What should I do to convince him? What should I do to make him believe me, to love me?
EARTH’S POV
God please help me. Show me the way to walk away.
I admitted that I was falling for Arus lately, but I was keeping it to myself. I was getting ready to leave this house when I got well with my leg. I’ve never thought to confess my feelings to him. God, I even didn’t know what I feel for him. And with this uncertan feelings I couldn’t be a homewrecker. I couldn’t do this to Leila. She was like an angel for me. I could never look her eyes anymore. This night was a huge mistake. Yes we did this before but I didn’t know her at that time. It was different. He didn’t stop me. He didn’t mentioned that he is married. But tonight was…ahh as if an elephant sat on my shoulders. A big knot in my stomach. He said tomorrow will be the day.
Arus’s phone was ringing but he was still looking at me and waiting for me to say something. The person who was calling him was insistent and didn’t give up. Ringing never stopped.
“Can you please answer that phone of yours?” I asked irritatedly.
He got up reluctantly and went to the other room where his phone ringing. Naked. I admired his body one more time but closed my eyes immediately as soon as I noticed what I was doing.
“Oh hey Leila…” he said with a slightly broken voice.
“No I was just sleeping… No no I am fine really… Right honey… What?...Oh…ok no problem. I’m glad that you are having fun…Ok. Me too.” And then he hung up and came to my room.
“Leila said she will stay there three more nights with the band and I said ok.” He explained what they talked to each other. I nodded.
“Look Earth…I know I couldn’t convince you yet. I know your hesitation is really got you. But what my suggestion is…can we live these three nights for ourselves?” he asked hesitantly.
I was shocked once more. How could I do that? Could I do that?
“Please Earth just three nights. Just let me live only for three nights. After that I will not insist on anything you don’t want to do.”
I didn’t know what was the right choice. Should I decide according to our feelings or Leila’s? Just three nights… And then I would be free. Regret was alredy in my heart and to add three more nights would not change its weight. I knew I was trying to convince myself. I was tempting for his offer.
And I said “Ok. Just three nights.”
You should see his eyes when I said ok. You should see his smile. He was happy. I felt happy.
Everything and everywhere was pink. Clouds, birds, trees, cars, furnitures, walls… We were happy.
We cooked together, ate together, watched films, laughed, had fun, made love, slept, cuddled, woke up in each others arms, snuggled more, went to walk around, went to shopping, cooked again, ate again, watched films again, made love again and again and again. We couldn’t have enough of each other. I knew what I felt for him was love. I was sure already. I loved him more and more every passing day. And it was not good. I tried to not think about their marriage, not to think how would feel Leila when she heard of us, how would their marriage be a mess with me stepped in. I just lived my days with him. Till it goes to the end.
“You know Leila coming back tomorrow.” He stated the obivous.
“Yeah I know.”
“I will tell her that I am gay and in love with you.”
“What kind of reaction do you expect from her?” I didn’t refuse his statement. I couldn’t say do not confess her. As if I was looking through a window in a home and watching a couple from outside. As if nothing is my fault.
“Actually I don’t know. Maybe she will understand and forgive me? Forgive us?” he said with a pure joy.
“Actually you are not aware the situation that we are in.” I said a little bit angryly.
The sparks in his eyes looked like the shooting stars in front of my eyes. I cursed myself in my head. I killed his joy of his three day life in a second. But somebody had to say the truth.
“I don’t know Earth. All I know is that I love you and what Leila could tell us will not change that I want to live with you from now on. Ok?”
I hugged him tightly and kissed him with passion. The passion that I’ve never felt and will never feel again with anybody else than Arus.
This was our last night and I wanted to live it to the end. We kissed, kissed, kissed. I wished that human being didn’t need to breath to live. We made love again and again at that night till the sun rise. Without sleeping. Without regretting. We stayed in each others arms.
Before Leila came home we prepared the breakfast and ate. Cleaned the kitchen and the house. Cleaned all the evidents of our crime. And sat on the sofa hand in hand to watch some film but we sat there without a glance through tv. He was caressing back of my hand with his thumb and I was looking at the circles he made.
Then front door opened and Leila came inside.
“I’m home darling!” she shouted with a happy voice. Arus went to her and hugged her tightly. She was beaming and it was hard to look without a trace of guilt.
“Oh hey Earth. How have you been darling? As I see you are walking more easily?” she came to hug me and I was trembling with panic.
“I feel better Leila. Thank you. How was your trip?”
“Ah it was superb. I wish you were there babe.” She said to Arus while continuesly beaming. She leaned to kiss him and he kissed her too. I couldn’t look at them.
“I am glad that you had fun babe. You needed it.” Arus said and glanced at me. I turned my eyes to Leila who was smiling at me and smiled her politely.
“But I missed you a lot.” She said and hugged him again. She was different than before she left. She was like a kid in a candy store and it was not because of seeing her husband again. I narrowed my eyes and looked at her.
“Are you ok Leila? You looking different…” said Arus as if reading my mind.
“Actually yessss…I have to tell you something darling.”
“Actually I have to tell you something too.”
“No no no I must be first.”
“Leila I think yours must wait till I tell you what is mine.”
“You know what? I think we should count to three and say at the same time.”
“Ok it would be better… I think…”
“Earth can you please count to three?” Leila asked me and I said ok.
“One…two…three” I closed my eyes and waited for the bomb to explode.
“I’m pregnant”
“I’m g…WHAT???”
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