I'm glad this week of school has gone by in a blur. After Monday I learned my lesson, so during lunch I started taking refuge in the library. By doing that, I have managed to avoid more run ins with any of my awful classmates. The library is always nice and quiet. Reading is one of my favorite hobbies, so lunch has been passing quickly now that I found sanctuary. I keep my head down, and no one tries to talk to me.
When I walk into the art room, I'm actually in a decent mood. The weekend is finally here, so I can hide in my room under my blankets and avoid thinking about anything. I also just checked out a new book that seems interesting, but haven't gotten to start it. Unfortunately, my happiness suffers a quick death when I make it to our table.

"So, we are going out tonight!" Jade exclaims once everyone is seated. "Justin is having a party, and he said I could bring people."

"Who the fuck is Justin?" Emma says before I can.

"I met him through one of my exes. It will be so much fun! I'm ready to get fucked up, this week has lasted forever." She turns to Lucas. "You think your mom will let you borrow her car?"

"Mhmmmm, maybe. I think she gets off at six. Let me double check though." Lucas pulls out his phone. "What am I saying we are doing tonight?"

"Uhhh, movies? And just tell her it's a late showing so you will be crashing at mine."
Typically when going out we have to lie to our parents, besides Emma. Her mom is super laid back and doesn't care if we go to a party as long as we have a DD.

"We'll figure it out. Everyone be ready by seven!" Jade bounces in her seat.

"Where's his house?" Lucas asks as he texts his mom.
"It's in Fairview."
"What's with that face?" Emma asks nudging me with her elbow. 
"Nothing," I shrug. I'd forgotten about committing to going out this weekend, and now that it's here I would rather not. I'm quickly trying to come up with an excuse as to why I will not be attending the party at rando Justin's house, when I realize the three of them are watching me.

"Nuh huh. Don't even start, you have to go." Lucas says as his eyes narrow. Sometimes I have the tendency to commit to plans, thinking it's a great idea at the time, but when it comes down to it I bail. The idea of having to be surrounded by hordes of intoxicated people already has me feeling exhausted. I enjoy drinking and having a good time, but would prefer to do that with a small group than at a stupid house party. Not knowing who's house we will be going to fills my stomach with nerves. 

"I didn't say anything!" I retort, cursing my stupid face and my easily read expressions.
"It's just... do we have to go? Can't we just hang out at Emma's instead or something?"
Emma's mom will supply us with alcohol if we promise to be responsible and share.
"Hell no!" Jade and Emma say in unison. It takes a herculean effort to not roll my eyes.
"It's like an hour drive there. And besides, when Lucas is supposed to drive he gets too fucked up!" He looks insulted, but it's the truth.

"Hey! I won't drink tonight. Cross my heart and all." He puts a hand to his chest, but the grin on his face says he's lying through his teeth. "You know you can get your license and then be the driver, you ungrateful child." I don't dignify that remark with a response, even though I want to stick my tongue out at him. I'm obviously not a child.

"Oh come onnn Beck. It will be a blast! We all promise not to ditch you!" Jade adds in an almost whining voice.
"That's what you always say." I reply sourly. 

Before they can guilt me anymore Mrs. Baker interrupts. As she goes over a technique, I debate on what to do. Even though the night will probably be long and awful, I said that I would go. They will all be mad if I try to weasel my way out now. Olivia asks a question and temporarily sidetracks my thoughts. On Tuesday I had been nervous to go to Calculus, but the distraction beside me pretended I didn't exist, and that has continued all week. Which is totally fine by me, it's not like I care. I will never have the courage to start a conversation, so I've been trying my hardest to not linger too long on thoughts of her. Maybe going out will be good to get my mind off school and a certain blonde haired girl.

"Fine. I'll go and be miserable, but I'm taking a book and will be hiding in the corner all night!"
"That's the spirit!" Emma exclaims as she slaps me on the back.
This is probably a bad idea.