I kick the door closed behind me and throw my bags at the foot of the stairs. I really feel like collapsing right here on the floor, but I think that might be a little uncomfortable because of the fact it’s fucking cement. I don’t want to spend the energy to get up the stairs either, so I decide to settle with the couch.  

I sluggishly drag myself into the living room, planning to throw myself down on the sofa, but I’m surprised and irritated to see that Brennan is already sitting down on it. He’s typing away on his laptop with small, almost mute ‘click-clack’s, his fingers moving fast across the keyboard. I think for a moment that he’s too focused to even notice me, but I’m greatly mistaken. He stops typing suddenly and raises his darkly tanned hand in the air. I stare at it in confusion for a second until he lifts a single finger and bends it as to say ‘come here’. 

I feel my stomach lurch into my throat in mild excitement, happy to receive some much-needed attention from him. I smile and prance on over to his side of the couch, and he pats his hand down on his lap but doesn’t look at me. Regardless, I still sit down without hesitation, wanting nothing more than to be touched and loved by the tall, dark, and handsome sociopath.  

Then he looks up to me through his thick lashes with his caramel eyes, and I think I swoon. His stare jumps down to my lips, but then he looks away again without acting on his desires. It takes everything in me to not purposely release just a bit of pheromones to convince him to do it. That’s one thing I’ve decided to never do with him: I’m never going to seduce him as an incubus; I am never going to use my “powers” to make him love me. He is going to learn to do that all by himself. Because I want to genuinely be loved. 

Brennan sighs and wraps his arms around me. I start to hope that he’s going in for cuddles, but I’m not that surprised when he just reaches around me to continue typing on his computer. I’m disappointed, yes, but not surprised. At one point, I would have been. Because I used to think that I could have everyone I wanted. I used to think that everyone wanted me.  

Now, I know that’s not true, and that’s the reason I love him. 

Because he doesn’t love me. 

And it’s only evident when I reach up in an attempt to touch his face. He immediately jerks his head away and growls, “I’m trying to work, princess.” 

I do get flustered by the nickname anyway.  

I bring my hand down into my lap and twiddle my thumbs together while listening to the dead silence of the air. Aside from the sounds of his fingertips on plastic buttons and the soft whisper of his breaths against my skin, there’s nothing else to hear. It’s dreadfully monotonous and does nothing to take my mind off of things, so I reach under Brennan’s arm to grab the TV remote. As soon as I lift it though, he takes it out of my hand like he’s a tired mom taking away a knife from a psychotic toddler. He just casually plucks it out of my hand and tosses it out of my reach. 

“No.” 

My face contorts into anger, and I’m about to throw a fit, but Brennan gives me a warning look, which subdues me into submission.  

“Why?” I whine. 

“Because I’m trying to work.” 

“Then let me go,” I hiss, struggling to pry myself from his lap, but he just grips onto my hips and holds me down in place. 

“No.” 

“You’re an ass!” 

He hums absentmindedly like he didn’t pay attention to what I just said. 

“I didn’t come in here to get bored to death.” 

“What did you expect?” he replies, still not looking up at me from his table of charts and sticky-notes. 

I don’t answer him. Instead, I lean back against his chest and huff, crossing my arms stubbornly. 

He scowls and readjusts himself to better reach his arms to his computer, inconvenienced by my movement. “Stay still.” 

I wriggle around some more just to piss him off, but I stop when I don’t get a reaction. He’s caught on to my antics, which only makes things ten times more annoying for me. If I can’t even irritate him, what power do I have anymore? 

None, and I’m somehow okay with that. 

Well, I’m not okay with that, but I still find myself willing to fall under his feet as if that would somehow make him love me. It won’t, but I can’t seem to stop. So, knowing I can’t keep fighting him and knowing he won’t let me go, I fall asleep to pass the time.  

Then, in the blink of an eye, I’m woken up again by movement. I have to force my eyes open to see that I’m being carried bridle style up the stairs with my body pressed close to Brennan’s chest, and for once, his touch is warm. He swathes me in affection and intimacy I’ve never gotten from him.  

I look up to his face, expecting to see a softened expression, but his walls are still up and his eyes are still empty. It doesn’t matter though; he still feels nice to me. 

“Go back to sleep,” he whispers, getting into bed and placing me beside him. 

I listen to him, and I close my eyes again and cuddle back into his chest, feeling content that he’s not entirely heartless. Then I’m surprised because I feel him wrap his body around mine, encasing me in warmth and molding ourselves together. It’s something I’ve never experienced with him; it’s something he has never let me experience with him. Our embraces were always one-sided before, but I swear I can feel his comfort this time. I swear I can feel some emotion of his that’s neither lust nor rage. I swear for a moment that I can feel him smile against my skin, and I think that he’s... 

I think that he’s happy. 

And I think it means things will get better. I hold onto the hope that things will be better. 

Things will be better.