Chapter Seven — James.

“Woah bro, go easy on the pen,” Simon exclaims as he drops his bag on the floor and the books spill out. “What's up with you?”

I'm on a writing sprint. Creating plots always clears my head but today nothing seems natural anymore. I can't stop the ache I feel in my chest. I feel like I'm a human with way too many problems that never go away. I always smile even when the going gets tough. I don't let myself frown or look unhappy for any reason but even now the calmness I've been putting on all day seems to be wearing off. I tell myself over and over again that Michael's words didn't bother me. That I can do anything without needing him or anyone.

“What else could I possibly be angry about?” I snap. He raises a brow, an indication that he's unimpressed with my attempt at anger. I know why he's asking. Simon wants to know if someone bullied or said an unkind word towards me. Once I give him a heads-up, he'll go charging like a bull.

When Ryder took the day off and Michael offered to take me to school today, I declined. And not just that, I also made him take a cab after me while I drove to school. I knew that having him drive would mean me sitting beside him and wishing to kiss his tattoed arms and adore his eyes. I didn't need any of such thoughts overwhelming me so that's why as soon as I got out of my car, I ran into the building, never sparing him a second glance to see his forlorn expression.

At lunch, I opted to eat at the cafeteria. I didn't even bother checking if he waited for me under the tree. He'd hurt me. I thought that whatever we shared meant he liked me but he made it clear last night that we're only cordial on formal terms. I can't believe I thought he wouldn't hurt me. That he treasured our friendship. He's the cause of this ache I'm feeling.

What was I thinking? That someone so dark and mysterious could find the will to like anyone? I wanted him to need me, crave my touch and company.

“You ready to talk? Your angst seems to wear off a bit,” he saunters over to the wardrobe and plucks out a tank top. 

I complete the sentence I'm writing and stand up, sitting next to him on the bed. “Michael doesn't like me,”

“Now that's peachy. I knew he didn't have good taste. Look at you! You're lovely. All the boys at school want you,”

From what I know, Simon doesn't get along with people so much due to his fierce nature. He's dealt with a good number of boys who troubled me so I'm pretty sure he's working on something devious for Michael in his mind.

I sigh, flipping on my side to look at him. “He's the first guy I'm so — ”

Simon twists his lips. “Seriously?”

“Alright! He's the first guy I truly want and I'm not talking about flirting here or a hookup. I need him to love me,”

This is bad. I've never thought of the L-word until now and even Simon knows. He's told me that the first guy I'll ever want will break my heart.

“James! That's bull! You don't know what you're saying. I gave up reading him after that night Dad introduced him. Never felt a need to suspect tattoed guys because I'm aware of the sins they bear,”

I count the beams on the ceiling as Simon reaches out to take my hand in his. “I understand how you feel James but it's for the greater good. That man is vicious, I can feel it. And he's been through a lot to make you sulk for weeks. You need someone sweet and kind just like you are,”

“He told me he's resistant to pain,”

“See?” he shrugs.

“But Mom wouldn't hire someone with a dark past to protect me. I think she trusts him enough. He's not as bad as you think,”

“I never said he's bad. All I'm trying to point out is that the man is damaged, and you'll likely end up the same way if you keep up with this desire of yours. He might not be able to withstand your innocence though,”

I smile despite the ache that prods my chest. “Mom and Dad aren't home until midnight right?” it's always been a routine for my parents to go on a date most evenings.

“Yeah, why?” Simon asks, confused.

I hop off the bed towards my wardrobe but he latches onto my wrist instantly. “No James. You promised me that it'd be the last you'd ever go there,”

“Come on, don't be such a pussy. I need something to get my mind off him,” and also to keep me from ripping my clothes in frustration that he'd never text me. I blocked his line and deleted his number. It was the only reasonable thing to do.

Now I regret it because that would have been the only way we'd be in touch. Maybe he sent me a text saying that he was sorry and asking me to come to his apartment.

“No James, listen to music instead or try yoga. I heard it's a great help,” he refuses me flatly.

“We're not getting anywhere with this argument,” I stare him down.

“What if Michael follows us?” he looks scared.

I roll my eyes. “That's not happening because we're sneaking out. There's no way he'd ever know. Alright fine, stay here and die lonely while I go out and have fun,”

“Damn,”

If there's one thing I'm sure of this evening, it's that Simon would never let me go anywhere he doesn't approve of alone. That's how overprotective of me he is.

“Have it your way,” he mumbles as he rolls off the bed. “We're going dancing are we?”

I give him a small smile. He's right. Dancing is the one thing I always do when I feel a need to feel better and forget how shitty the world is. On the other hand, Simon embodies horrible when it comes to dancing. I think it's due to how tough he acts out. And he eats too many eggs.

“It feels like forever,”

I know just how this night would end, that's if Michael isn't included in the scheme of things. While I dance and loosen up, Simon takes delight in avoiding everyone like a plague and keeping an eye on me.

“Here have this,” I throw him blue chinos with a matching purple turtleneck shirt. “Get dressed quickly,”

“I think I should be the one telling you that slowpoke,” he grunts.

“Oh shush, I'm as fast as a butterfly. It's already nine.” I surf through my collection for something fitting, giving Simon the privacy he needs to change his clothes.

I pluck out a black chambray shirt with green beach shorts to go with it. I want to wear something simple to enable me to enjoy the night. I apply fresh gel and comb my silky hair for the first time in months.

“How do I look?” Simon moves sideways so I can take a better look at him. It might sound funny but purple fits him more than the bright blue shirt and pants he wears every day. He loves bright colors as I've known since the day we first met which doesn't go along with his dimmed eyes and skin tone. Simon isn't tanned at all.

“You look impressive in purple,” I tell him. He winks at me. “Glad you agree that I should keep this,”

“I did not—”

“Thank you, James Hathaway,” he smirks and I groan. He's always coveting my clothes.

“Dude, those shorts are fucking short,”

I shrug, staring at my reflection in the mirror, and he comes to stand beside me. “This would be the highlight of the occasion,”

“Got any clubs in mind? The last one we went to was half-baked. I don't like the men staying there,”

“Fine, we'll go to a better one,” he smiles, patting my head. “Let's get this night over with,”

I make a call for a car, and we slide down my window, jumping off easily. I sling a foot over the leg and Simon helps me down too. This would be the second official time we're doing this.

Somehow, the security alarm in the living room triggers but no one seems to notice. We tail silently along the house and start hurrying past the driveway. I slide the gate key in aa Simon pulls the heavy gate silently, and wide enough for the both of us to slip out. We take the curve down the street and see our car waiting at the corner.

We hop in, yelling at the driver to, “Go, go, go!” like petty robbers on a getaway. The tires screech as he takes off and we burst into laughter at this.

“Take us to Temptation,” Simon sings out the address while I sit back, relaxing.

Before long, we're in the city. Slipping out of the car after paying the fare, Simon tightens his grip on my wrist as we strut to the front line. He walks like a mover and a shaker. The tattooed lady at the door does not comment as she throws the door open for us.

“That was so easy Simon!” I whisper-yell in excitement.

He smirks. “Confidence is everything, best friend,”

We walk down the large hallway, the music growing louder as we advance closer to the club. We saunter past the bar and table straight to the dance floor. I let the beat resonate through me as I begin to dance, wondering what Michael must be doing right now.