You know what happens when you are impatient and can't wait for your third type of love? You start looking for it in everything. I'm not saying now that I've found my third type of love, or been in a relationship, but I want to share this small yet sweet experience. 

I was to begin another year in school, and I've decided to move somewhere else. There, I didn't know a single soul. I wasn't so good at talking, so I didn't make any friends. But one day, someone caught my attention, an important resource for me, because I thought everything was ordinary. On my way to the surface, from the subway, a tall guy blocked my way. He didn't realize it, and I wasn't the one to yell about this kind of thing. But observing him was far more satisfying. 

Tall, dark-haired, black eyes, wavy hair, a face which commanded determination and confidence, in some elegant clothes. On the left wrist, he had a watch, some fine bracelets, and on the ring finger, a ring with a big black stone. On the right wrist, other fine bracelets, and the pinky finger, a big ring with some sort of design, a lion let's say, for that, I couldn't focus at that distance. He had that CEO vibe, a powerful aura, a charisma that made you be drawn to him, but also typical coldness, for he was unreachable. 

I've always wondered about what he could possibly do. He wasn't a high schooler of sure. Maybe he was in college. But never, seeing him, had he a book or a notebook. He could be the rich son of some important figure, but he often returned home with a plastic bag, and I thought it was unlikely that that type of people would lower themselves and wear around something so " ordinary ". Maybe he was working somewhere, making his own money, without debts or doubts, being able to provide himself such beautiful jewelry. Even today, I couldn't decipher that person. 

You think now that I was drawn to him because of those gold bracelets and rings of him, thinking he was rich? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you are not right in the least. At first, I appreciated him for breaking some stereotypes about jewelry on men. And for pulling off them with such aura. Then, I realized he had a typical program. He would take the exact same bus, every day, at the same hour. Then we started seeing each other more often. I wasn't one to go straight and talk to him, because despite all of those qualities, he had a rather intimidating glare and confidence in all of his moves, and I couldn't compete with that. I preferred to watch from afar. 

He would stay right in the bus station, in his forever spot, but I liked keeping a distance, for people to get on the bus, and I would always be the last to enter. I knew that at night everyone was tired, and someone coming back from work would appreciate more to sit down than me. But he would often more around. And look around. And we could lock eyes. Every day, I was feeling that each one of us was making sure that the other one was at the right time at the station. 

I felt good. I felt like I mattered. Because in a crowd, among others, he saw me. I felt noticeable. He was always with his hands into his pockets, having a pose similar to a king on this throne. And once in a while, he would half turn around and peek behind him. Where I usually was. I didn't notice it at first, but I was too curious to know whom he was watching and glad I was seeing him lock eyes with me one time. I had the feeling like I was protected. That, someone, was keeping an eye on me. That if I suddenly collapsed or something, he would be the first to help. 

Those little peaks made my entire night. I would often think about them, but still insecure as I was, I made myself clear that it was just a coincidence. But in life, coincidences turn into miracles, right? 

One night, I've arrived quite early for my bus. So I decided to spend some time at the subway station and call my mom. It was already night, but half of my brain thought I could see him if I stay a bit. He was nowhere to be found. A subway was coming. I decided to go after that subway left my station. Repeating, I didn't think I was quite special, so he could care for me like I felt he did. But in that subway that was coming, on one door, it was him. I can't even describe his face when he saw me there, like waiting, for someone. At first, he was confused. He couldn't see well into the distance. After, he had a revelation. That was his expression. Like when you are looking for something and you barely missed it. After that, he was shooked. Like, what on earth could I do there and whom am I waiting for. And finally, he was in deep thought. You could see his wrinkles. Giving up, he put on his always poker face and was heading out to the bus station. He had all those facial expressions within seconds. I was even more confused, for all the time we saw each other the subway was approaching and he didn't take his eyes off me for even one second. 

I told my mom I have to hang up and headed out. Walking, I felt like taking a test without studying for it. The problem wasn't how could he do all of those facial expressions, but because why did he switch them looking at me so focused. I was completely absorbed. But I've moved from that place. So I can't see him. 

I haven't seen him for a long time. But sometimes I wonder how he's doing and what impression had I felt on him. 

This is for you, stranger. Thank you for filling my days with thoughts of you, as an escape from the dark, regular ones. Thank you for making me feel like I was protected. Because sometimes I was scared, too. Thank you for noticing me, and making me special about it. Thank you for those expressions, I'll never forget them. Hope I can see you again one day. One day, confident enough to look for you and to speak with you. 

You might think I suffer because I can't see him, Well, you are not completely wrong, but also not completely right. I don't have any right upon him, demanding that I want to see him, but he made me feel like no one ever did. I wasn't noticeable. I wasn't beautiful. I wasn't that type of girl you see in a crowd and think about her for a lifetime. But he saw me. Despite all of this. Words weren't needed, and I think this added even more beauty. 

My advice if you've been through this is to think carefully about what relationship you want with that person. For all you know, he is a stranger. If you are confident and want to be friends, do it. I wasn't confident in myself. But I don't think I regret it. Because he will be forever a mystery to me, and mysteries are also needed in life. Think about it from this point of view. Life changes at every our decision. 

Hope you didn't forget my exercise. Today I'm grateful for remembering him, and grateful to him because he is my inspiration and my power to be even half as confident as him. He aspired me to grow more. So I'm grateful to him. Now, your turn. What are you being grateful for today?