March 14, 2019  11:33 pm

Right now I’m sitting on a cold basement floor, holding straight vodka in a cup, while the guy from my math class has his arms around me telling me that he’s a closeted gay who loved me since he first saw me. I didn’t expect anything worse to happen tonight. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do in this situation. I’m not drunk enough to kiss him, and I'm not sober enough to care. I think he’s trying to say something but it’s not like I can understand. 

He had a drink with him when he found me, which he has long since dropped, he’s sobbing uncontrollably, and his face is so close to my neck I'm pretty sure he’s about to bite me. He’s now wrapped around my torso and I don’t think he’s going to let go anytime soon. I raise my cup over his shoulder, he pushes me back, puts his hands on my cheeks, and looks into my eyes. His cheeks are red, his eyes look swollen, there are tears streaming down his face, and he’s trying to catch his breath. He leans in and I'm still not drunk enough to participate in this so I dodge him. 

I don’t think it bothers him that much, seeing as he is back to crying into my shoulder. When I first came down here to escape the rave happening above us, I didn't really have time to look around. Now that I do, I can’t tell if I’ve escaped the mosh pit or I just joined a new one. There's a T.V. that is shining bright blue with around fifteen guys each laughing at different times while pointing at it, there's a brown leather couch in the middle of the room covered in empty red cups, the floor is just cement so you could see where Leon (the guy currently glued to my torso) spilled his drink, and I fear the ceiling might collapse soon. He says something a little louder than everything else and pushes me back.

 He grabs my face and once again I'm ready to dodge but he doesn't do anything this time. He just looks at me with this sad kinda confused look. After about 30 seconds he leans closer, this time I don’t pull back. I know he’s not about to kiss me, didn’t make it any less weird though. Our eyes were now locked and he said something that anyone in my position could’ve heard. 

“Eric, you’re so fucking mean.” 

Then proceeds to pass out. I do the one thing I can do, I get up and leave. I’d really rather be sitting in my room scrolling through Instagram wishing I wasn't as fucked up as I am. After pushing my way through all the blackout drunks I finally step outside. The cool night air hits my face and I can finally breathe again.

 I sit on the porch and pull out my phone while thinking about how I'm going to get home. Just my luck. I'm greeted with a black screen. Of course, I do as anyone else would do, I threw my phone into the front yard.

“You come here often?”

I hear a voice to my left. Do I even want to know? I slowly look over and see a guy sitting on a porch swing that I somehow didn't notice. I put my face in my hands, I don’t really feel like dealing with more people right now. He leans forward and looks at me.

“Hello?” 

I shoot him a look that speaks for itself. He smirks and continues staring at me. I don’t like being hit on by random straight guys at parties but it seems to happen every time. I can still feel him staring at me, probably waiting for a reaction. This is a really bad idea, but I should think about my options, I have no money, my phone is fucked, I have absolutely no clue where I am, and the girl who drove me here is probably talking up some random senior. I sigh and look at him. 

“Do you have a car?”

He smiles at me. “Shouldn’t we go to dinner first?” 

“Is that a no?”

He pulls out a set of keys from his pocket. I’m about to grab the keys and run but decide against it. “Wanna go for a ride?”

Add it into the book of decisions I probably shouldn't have made, I’ll give you an exact description. Getting into a car at 12:04 am with a guy who could easily overpower me. I gave him the address to a store within walking distance of my house, we’re driving through this back road surrounded by open pastures. He’s been trying to start a conversation but I respond super vague, we’ve been driving for about 20 minutes now with songs I think I'd vibe to if I was an 8th grader. I’m pretty damn close to just opening the window and screaming tuck and roll, I really hate awkward situations and this was by far the worst.