A few weeks go by, Benjamin and I go out to the desert every weekend. I’ve been having dinner at his house more often, been getting to know his parents. His mom isn’t very talkative, but she has this crazy way of communicating with Mr. Madrid, with her eyebrows and lips and hands.
I have also finally learned their names: Kelly and Oscar. I still call them Mr. and Mrs. Madrid, though. Oscar is very open, he’s kind of bubbly and energetic and he has no filter. He constantly makes innuendos and has asked me on multiple occasions whether I like ass or boobs more. It still makes me uncomfortable but I think he likes riling me up. Benjamin does too, they egg each other on.
I’ve never met somebody who’s best friends with their parents, but that’s exactly what Benjamin and his dad seem to be. It’s weird but I’m getting used to it. Maybe it’s only weird for me because I’m not very close with my parents, or anybody in my family. Maybe it’s normal to be friends with your parents.
Benjamin has not yet met my parents, they don’t even know he exists. That’s how close we are, they just assume I’m going out by myself every weekend and staying out late in the desert, even though I’m sure they know I hate driving around out there in the dark. Maybe they don’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever told them.
I sigh, I hate feeling depressed like this. It’s total bullshit, I have a great life. I should be happy. But I had dinner with my parents and Vinny tonight and, rather than playing a game, they’ve all retreated to the garage. I’m tempted to go over to Benjamin’s but that would make them suspicious and I don’t feel like dealing with their questions.
Instead, I lay in bed with Alton and stare at the picture Oscar took the first night I was there. He loves photography and he loves his old polaroid. He’s always taking pictures. The first time I went in Benjamin’s room, I didn’t really notice it but he has pictures on every wall. When I was over there the other night he told me about a few of them.
“This is Andrew and Chester, a couple of my buddies from Tennessee.” He hands me a picture of two guys that look a couple of years younger than us, one has dark olive skin and dark eyes, the other is pale-faced and dark eyed.
“Are they brothers?” I ask.
“They have the same mom, different dads.”
He shows me a different picture. “My aunt in Tennessee has a farm so I could go out and ride her horses whenever I wanted.” In this one, Benjamin is sitting on a black and white horse with no saddle or reins, he’s got his arms spread out and he’s smiling. “The horse’s name is Tinny.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse, I see them all over, though. And my grandparents have a few.”
Benjamin sighs. “I love horses. They’re so intelligent and loyal, nobody gives them the credit they deserve.”
“You say that about every animal.”
“It’s true about every animal.” I roll my eyes, he hands me a picture of him from when he was little, holding a tiny kitten. “That was Jackson, he was my first pet.”
“I thought your mom was allergic.”
“No, just dogs."
I shake my head. “That’s tough, I love my dog more than anything in the world. I don’t know what I’d do if my mom was allergic.”
“You wouldn’t’ve gotten him in the first place.” Benjamin says with a smirk.
“Whatever.”
Another few weeks pass and Benjamin asks if I’d like to stay the night at his house over the weekend. It’s Veteran’s Day, so we got Friday off and we’d spent all day in the desert, then eaten at his house. We’re in the reptile room and I’m holding Chelsea, she’s the calmest and the easiest to handle of all his snakes so she became my favorite.
I don’t know what to say when he asks me, I didn’t tell Mom I’d be staying overnight and I didn’t bring Alton because I knew we’d be eating at his house afterwards. But she’ll guess I decided to stay overnight and won’t worry. Especially since I’ve been staying overnight almost every weekend for a couple of months.
“Sure.” I say. He nods.
“You can take a shower if you want to, it was pretty hot today.” It’s true, for November today was boiling hot, I sweat my ass off in my hoodie and jeans.
“That sounds good.”
“I’ll get you a towel, do you want to borrow some pajama pants?”
I laugh. “You’re legs are half the length of mine, Benjamin.”
He punches my shoulder. “I’m only a couple of inches shorter than you, I meant Dad’s anyway.”
I nod. “Okay.” He leaves the room for a couple of minutes while I put Chelsea back and returns with a towel and a pair of checkered pajama pants. “Thanks.” I say, then go to the bathroom where I find his shower works exactly like mine. I’m not surprised but I am relieved. I don’t know why I thought it would be different or complicated.
I make it quick. Then I get out, fold up my jeans and hoodie, put on my shirt and underwear and Oscar’s pants which are surprisingly too long on me. I glance at my face in the mirror, I need a haircut, when it’s wet like this it hangs down in my eyes. I need to shave too, I’m getting scruffy. I turn away from my reflection and leave the bathroom.
Benjamin gives me a blanket and pillow, we lay awake on the couch watching movies almost all night. We start off with the classics, like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, before getting into some newer movies. We watch an old Disney movie, then at three in the morning he absolutely insists I have to watch Shaun of the Dead.
We fall asleep around six in the morning as the credits of Me, Myself, and Irene roll. At noon I wake up and throw my pillow at Benjamin. This is usually how I get him to wake up in the truck, it always does the trick. He throws the pillow back at me and sits up, rubbing his eyes.
“How late did you boys stay up?” Oscar asks, coming into the living room with a sandwich.
Benjamin shrugs. “Early.” He says.
I nod in agreement. Oscar laughs. “Well, you can have lunch whenever you’re hungry.”
“You hungry?” Benjamin asks.
I nod, we get up and trudge to the kitchen. Kelly is sitting at the table, sipping her tea. I’ve learned she prefers black tea but Benjamin and Oscar prefer herbal. I have to side with Kelly on that one. “Want some?” She asks.
“No thank you.” I say, Benjamin shakes his head. We make sandwiches.
He gets some Doritos out, then he puts a few layers on his sandwich and proceeds to flatten the bread and crush the chips in between. He must notice my bewildered look. “Never seen a Dorito sandwich?” He asks.
“No, I don’t like squished bread.”
“You’ll love it, just try it.” So I do and he’s right. It’s very good, he recommends that I add extra cheddar next time—to really highlight the cheesy flavor. I hang out for a little while longer before changing and returning Oscar’s pants. I thank Oscar and Kelly before leaving, then get in my truck and drive home.
Mom and dad are on the couch when I come inside. “You didn’t tell us you were staying overnight.” Mom says, giving me the look.
I shrug. “Sorry, it got late before I realized it.”
“Next time, we expect you to tell us.” Mom says. “And bring your poor dog.”
I nod, then take my poor dog to my room and lay in bed. They never give me credit for anything. If I go out, I get ridiculed for something, be it staying overnight or staying too late or not bringing my dog. If I stay inside, I get in trouble for not going out. If I get C’s and B’s I should be getting A’s, and if I’m getting A’s my classes aren’t hard enough. I’ve determined that I will never be good enough for my parents.
Benjamin’s parents don’t put any pressure on his grades, they know he does the best he can. I hate to admit it, but I’m a little bit jealous of him. He’s close with his parents, he’s charismatic and has plenty of friends, he’s hella smart. I know it’s my own fault I’m not all these things, but it all just comes so naturally to him.
I pet Alton’s head, he’ll never get a dog. That’s something to feel good about, I get to have this incredible companion. He licks my hand and scoots closer to me. I pop in one of my Limp Bizkit CD’s. When it’s over I decide to go out into the living room to watch some weird cooking show with my parents. This is something else Benjamin’s family doesn’t do: chill and watch TV. It doesn’t seem like much but it’s always been our family time. We play board games occasionally, less so since Vinny moved out, but TV is our main way to get together and enjoy ourselves.
Yet, I’m still jealous of his ability to connect with people. I know it’s something I’ll never be able to do no matter how much I work at it.
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