The sun beats down on me.
The relentless heat slams down punishing anyone who dares to stay in it’s sight.
I didn’t choose to stay here. I was forced.
I am forced to stay in this desert.
Feeling nothing but the scorching heat.
Feeling nothing but the burning sand on my bare feet.
Feeling nothing but the slow melting of my skin from my bone.
I don’t know why, but I keep fighting. Every step a desperate fight for the water I long for.
Water, that is all I want.
Just a single drop of salvation.
Suddenly I’m drowning. Drowning in the same water I longed for.
Sinking deeper and deeper.
The light is slowly fading.
The cold just as intense as the heat. Making my body as numb as my mind has become.
I don’t even fight anymore. I don’t scream or try to claw my way out.
What’s the point if no one hears me?
So much time has passed. It has been so long that I can no longer fathom the abstract idea of color or light.
So much time has passed that it is impossible to feel anything.
My only thought is that “I just want this to end.”
I keep sinking deeper and deeper.
It is a ledge in a steep ravine this time.
The wind tears at my clothes.
Thousands of needles barrow into my skin in a relentless effort to rip me apart.
I scream this time as pain erupts through me. Like molten lava from a volcano that was barely held at bay by the winter cold.
It hurts so much.
Why? Why is this happening to me?
I did nothing wrong, I’m innocent. So why am I being punished?
I eventually came to the conclusion that my existence is what is wrong.
If I was meant to exist then I wouldn’t be suffering like this.
If I wasn’t meant to exist, then I should just die.
If I just die, then everything would be better.
My wrists bleed as I fall down the ravine.
I’m scared.
I don’t want to die, but it is the only way.
It is the only way to end it all.
I hit the bottom, I lose consciousness, and everything stops.
I wake up in a hospital room.
The machine next to me beeps in time with my heart.
When my eyes open I see people.
Mom
Dad
Sister
Brother
Friends
It hurts.
