Do you remember when I said not to wish someone bad? Keep that as a mantra. As anything you want. Just remember. You will see some results in time. 

Now, as I previously mentioned, my former best friend gave my world a big hit with that sudden idea of me making up with my ex. But since I've distanced myself from her for some time, I didn't quite know how she has been. Fate made us relatives. Her sister and my brother are getting married. So tonight, she was both upset and angry. When I chose to let her go, she was already with another best friend. She was quite decent, so I thought she wouldn't miss me much. But something changed. She has been played by them. Rumors started. I wasn't particularly interested, but as we were sharing the same table, I  got to be with hearing loss so that I couldn't hear anything. 

But by the end of the story, both sisters were mad. The people with whom she hanged out made a mess bigger than anything she's ever done to me. Those were once the people she chose over me. I think karma worked things out. But maybe it was too much. When I heard about what they did, I was terrified and relieved at the same time. Terrified at the thought of it being placed upon me, and about how could she handle it, and relieved because I distanced myself from them before they could do me something like this. 

You might think I'm happy right now, right? That I've been waiting for this for the whole time, getting tired of not happening? Feeling thrilled at her sad face? You couldn't be more wrong. In the past, I, too, thought that I would be delighted if something like this took place. But I'm not. It's worse. I'm feeling sad too. I feel like something is hard on my chest and it's harder to breathe. It's a subtle sensation, easily mistaken for the summer heat. But it's cold outside. I feel bad for her. I wish there was a way to comfort her, but at least at the moment, I don't see one. 

Maybe it's because of the past. As a child, I loved everyone. Maybe this is the way a person feels when they are experiencing a breakup. But we were kids. There was obviously a difference between us, but I tried overlooking that as much as I could. Someone was richer. Someone was more beautiful. Someone was more ladylike. Someone had more opportunities in front of them. Someone had communication in their family. And I know for a fact that I wasn't the one. I knew that from the beginning. After, even people began to point out these aspects. Even worse, you started pointing them, intentionally or not. I don't know. And I don't blame you. But that hurt my pride and my feeling a bit. Finally, a break from you seemed like the best solution for my already damaged mental health. 

After tonight, I think we could be friends again. But don't get me wrong, not like before. Not in the deepest spots of my mind. Just regular friends. We, coincidentally, are relatives as well. So there is some sort of relationship between us. And even after everything, now I bring myself to forgive you. To forgive all the past. For a new beginning. I want to be regular friends. I don't want to be a burden to my family because of my petty emotions from that damn middle school. I want to be better than that. But whether we become close again, depends on all of you. On your mindset, on your actions, and your behavior. At the moment, I don't like the environment you are in, because I erased myself from their memory. And about your mindset, I don't know yet. We changed. Even if it's for a facade, we need to at least speak with each other. But as I said, the rest is all upon you. I don't want to bring back in my life someone toxic. If you are still toxic for my mental health, I don't need you. I've been great the whole time with and without you as well, so I think I will be just fine.

 This is for you, dear sister-in-law. Tonight I forgive you. Tonight I sympathized with you. Tonight I really realized a lot of things. Thank you for teaching me all of this. Thank you for both coming into my life and for getting out. Thank you for being a decent friend even after I let you go, such as not creating false rumors. I really respect that. With this, we are strangers again. But soon after we are relatives. I will learn how to comfort, support, and love you as a relative. 

This is how karma really works. You do something bad, and it gives you something worse. Don't ever wish someone bad. Because it's coming right back at you. Instead, feel sorry for them. Whatever they did to you, it's because they have an issue with themselves first. That kind of people needs the most love. Forgive them. And if possible, show them that. For a new beginning, if you are willing. Or if not, for their mental health. Walking away from someone without explaining yourself it's the worse thing you can do in this lifetime. It's fatal for their mental health. But I must admit I've done that as well. And karma got right back at me. It's painful. 

You just need to know that your actions are mirrored by the thing called karma, and whether it is good or bad, it all depends on you. So, don't ever wish someone bad. Wish them good. Because if they ever did something to you, they probably need more than you some good fortune. For the karma that is coming their way. 

Are you grateful tonight? Did something good happen? Say it. Did something bad happen? You survived it. Be grateful. Tonight I'm grateful for bringing myself to forgive her and being willing to start a new beginning. Even if there is much damage in the past, that the future can't take, I'm still willing. Life goes on. I don't want to be upset with her all the time. We grew up. Those petty emotions. I'm getting rid of them one by one. 

This is the cycle of life. People change. Everything changes. Just be positive and take care of yourself and your loved ones. You are living for both. Let yourself bloom. Let that little stem you are today, bloom into the big, colorful, and flower you will be.