People nowadays want to be in relationships for a long time, to know their partner, before marriage, unlike the past generations, where people were forced into marrying each other, for interest exclusively, and they gradually grew to love each other, if they actually did. But one interesting thing is that even they didn't love each other, they wouldn't divorce. I get that it is tangled with religion, but I don't think religion has ever told anyone to be unhappy. I think that religion is guiding us to be happy. Or it should be this way. Anyway, I'll try to find out why I am single and my reasons behind it. Fun, right?

I think my mind is at fault. Like, really. I can be overconfident, or with low self-esteem. I may think I'm pretty, and the next second, I'll think I want to hide for the rest of my life. I want to be in a relationship, but I don't want to burden myself and others. I'm a paradox. 

Starting from my appearance, I'm not much confident. I'm not beautiful, nor ugly. I'm not too fat, nor too slim. I'm not too short, nor tall. I'm average. I just have dark circles, which make me look like a panda, and they are the reason I don't find my face attractive. Same for my body. I try to exercise, diet, but give up afterward. I'm not confident in my appearance, and I don't think, that among other pleasing-looking girls, someone would pick me. 

Enough for that. I, too, have pretty high standards. Not because I'm pretentious, or arrogant, but I'm ready to give so much to my loved one, and I expect the same thing from him. Because I'm tired of one-sided relationships. I, also, have a pretty open mind, I think, and I see an opportunity where others see a problem, and I see a problem where others see an opportunity. 

For instance, interracial dating. That's the first example. I think it's a wonderful thing. And I also think that you need to be strong enough to take all the criticism. And by being in one, you actually prove that. The second example, the stupid old rule of the woman doing all the housework. You both work. Yet when she gets home she has to cook, clean, do the dishes, plant, do the laundry, and many more. He, because he is a man, sits on the couch, and is looking at football. This is just unfair and wrong. If we live together, don't expect me to do anything. I'm not a robot. We need to help each other. We need to split. Whatever works, but don't think that your mother needs to do the dishes every time because she isn't a robot. 

Returning to the topic, interracial dating. I don't even like the term. I would be lying if I said I've been always ok with it, but I was raised in a community where this was prohibited. Like, you had to leave the town. Because you couldn't take the criticism and the stares. But as I started opening up my mind, I thought it wasn't such a bad thing. As I previously said, my brother is my biggest support, and he played a big part in me being the way I am today. When I was quite close-minded, he told me something I value even today. " We are all humans. We are all born equally. You are not superior to anyone, nor inferior to another one. The background, education, race does not matter. Personality is what matters. " I don't remember the exact words, but this is the conclusion I drew afterward. And I would like to complete this with my personal touch: " I don't believe in races. I know only one - the human race." What people nowadays call race - American race, Chinese race, African race - I call genetic differences. We are a whole race. The human race. But, as conditions over the globe were different, we adapted differently. Genetic speaking. 

Think about it. All the differences we see - skin color, head shape, eye form, hair color - are just genetic. It's just the exterior. I think the soul matters more. What's inside. When you see someone attractive, you are only looking at the surface. You don't know anything at all about them. And I need to say this for everyone: one mistake from the history of that certain country does not characterize all the people from it. You can't say all germans are cold-blooded because of what Hitler did. Or the Russians. Or any other nationality. Because this whole race thing is just a formality from the government. All individuals are different. Race does not define all. 

And because of that, people think I'm crazy. But I ask myself who is the crazy one. I've seen a video where an interracial couple was threatened because they were dating, and because " they are disrespecting the ancestors, because they are destroying the bloodline of one another, the bloodline which the ancestors fought so much to preserve ". Are you functioning? They didn't have to kill each other in the first place. Yes, there were wars, and we couldn't stop that from happening in the present. But I think that if they were more open-minded, and just accepted the existence of one another, many lives could have been spared. 

I envy those in an interracial relationship, not because they are in one, but because they have the strength to prove people wrong. Honestly, I'm really attracted by Asians. Mostly Koreans. I think they are, as a whole continent, a hard-working one, which had no one to rely on but itself, and it's still criticized for its appearance and eating habits. Just like me. I relied on myself, and I think I'm proud of what I've accomplished, but people still find wrongdoings in all of this. And I think it's because they don't think contextually. Think about their conditions. The clime. The govern. The surroundings. They just adapted. To survive. If you still think this is wrong, I'm sorry to tell you but what you are thinking right now, except for the fact that you are close-minded, you also have the thought of your ancestors. They thought like that, too. So, now, try to form your idea. Think again. Think harder. Analyze. 

I wished that one day I could do something to change a few minds, and therefore to leave my mark in this life. And an interracial relationship popped up. I don't know anyone from abroad at this moment, and I knew I wouldn't just hop into the relationship just to prove the world something, but I want to say that I'm not against it and if one day, I meet someone, and the feelings are mutual, I'm not interested in their nationality. 

Yes, I have my fears, but with the right person, you can overcome them. My family would be hard on him, or even on my child if he would look more like his father. My relatives would be disgusted. And I don't even know about his family. Or where are we going to live? I think my family is mostly afraid that I would go abroad, and except that I am so far away, is that I can be bullied there and not treated right by society and his family. Those are just some worries. But to make myself clear: I'm not particularly looking for an interracial relationship, but if the person I like is from another country, that doesn't represent a problem for me. 

So, for the people out there in an interracial relationship, you could not imagine how proud I am of you. Don't be afraid of rumors or what people say. Whatever you do, they would still criticize, so why not do what you really do desire? For the ones who like a person of another nationality, go for it! You have nothing to lose. It's wonderful. More than a cultural exchange. Don't let stereotypes stop you. And for the ones who think that interracial dating is wrong, I'm sorry buddy, but you need to read more books. 

So that concludes my being single. I don't have those socially accepted opinions. I have my own. I'm different. Because the current society is built on people's low esteem, fears, and close-minded mentality, being open-minded and loving yourself are like breaking a law. An act of rebellion. And I've never really liked rules.

Wait a minute. Don't think I've forgotten. What are grateful for today? I'm grateful for my continuing progress. I'm taking baby steps, but at least I'm moving. I'm learning what to take care of myself, both physically and mentally, and I'm learning how to love myself. I'm grateful that I've opened my eyes to see that interracial everything needs more awareness. I'm grateful for all my decisions, be it bad or good. 

And one more thing. Don't use the term interracial dating. I've said it like this because I couldn't find a shorter nicer term and I wanted to make myself clear. Also, don't mention it in front of the people in that kind of relationship. It's rude.