She’s the sort of woman I would have judged to be way out of my league. Wasted on Mittens, who as far as I can tell is just dating so he can have a child.

I feel a pit of worry in my stomach every time I think about that. Why does Mittens want a child? I don’t want it to be the reason I think, but I know it is.

“He’s such a sweet cat. How old is he?” she asks Mittens, scratching behind my ears.

“Around twelve years, I believe.” Mittens responds. “I’m glad he likes you. ‘If the cat likes her, she must be a good fit.’” he says with a laugh, sounding like an almost convincing human being.

He’s learned to make jokes. I would be impressed if I hadn’t seen him watching videos and mimicking to himself.

“Indeed. You’ve got to meet my cat, Isabelle.” the woman remarks, immediately piquing my curiosity.

Then I remember that I’m a cat and her cat probably won’t like another cat. 

“I hope you’ll invite me over sometime, then.” Mittens says with an empty smile.

His smiles, jokes, gestures, his entire facade has this woman completely fooled. She thinks she’s found a man who is both rich, charming, and likes cats, but what she’s really getting is a psychopath who doesn’t care about her one bit. Why couldn’t a woman like this have dated me? At least I wouldn’t have been only pretending to find her captivating.

Mittens looks at me and laughs, then turns it into a cough as his new girlfriend looks at him.