Have you ever heard of the author's block? Like they take a break and inspiration flies off the window? I don't consider myself a writer or an author in the least, but I'm proud that I can write some significant sentences which help me and help others as well, I hope. 

Putting that aside, I don't want to mark that I had a block while writing this book, because they will be in the future as well, but I want to mark why I had these moments. 

You often heard that people live in the past sometimes. Sometimes could mean the rest of their lives if they do nothing to cure that. You might think that you are very present and very punctual, but hear me out. I might change your way of thinking. I thought like that as well, and I was very convinced that is this way. But after all of those chapters, I was on vacation and unable to write. I thought I could relax a bit, think matters over, recharge with positive energy and go back home ready than ever. But it wasn't that way. Some days, I was clueless. I didn't know what to write about. At all. I assumed that I was so consumed by those events which I summarized into chapters, that I couldn't focus on something else. I was determined to write about myself. And I did. But after 16 chapters, I thought that my story was just that. I don't like that. Those were the bad times, the times that made me strong, and the times which also made me proud for surviving. 

I don't want my story to be just about those times. I've indeed written about them, but I needed so much to heal and to let them go, that I couldn't tell any beautiful memory. Because I have that as well. And I will write them little by little. For me to remember. For the four girls to laugh. And for you to laugh. 

So what can you do? I still don't know myself. I realized the first time in my life that my past was hunting me like it was still alive. So I'm learning to be at peace with it. I think that writing the facts down and analyzing them objectively helped me. What also helped was forgiving the people involved, not personally, but in my head. For the peace of my mind. Remember: you're doing this for the peace of your mind. A personal meeting with those people might worsen this process, so I suggest you do everything for your own good. As for the final step, I prefer thinking about happy times and happy people. What happened? What are those people like? Why do you like them? Are you happy when you are with them? Have they helped you grow? 

If the responses were all positive, you can be reassured. You have good people around you. People willing to help you create more meaningful memories. But if not, you need to find them. The environment is as important as your character. I think that detaching from the past means making happier memories. So you can think about those. Plan. Schedule. Meet up. Be busy creating a life. Not only a living. 

Half of your life is in your head. So facts might be smaller than what you think. Your happiness indeed depends on you alone, but while searching for that, you need someone to give it to you. You need to be sad, so you can appreciate more when you are happy. You need to know sadness so you can know happiness. And before you feel happiness from yourself, you need to receive it from others. It's all about the way you think. Problems aren't problems until you think it's a problem. Same for dreams. Try adapting your thinking to find good in the darkest situation. That way you know you won. Even if you can't right away, this requires time. Be patient with yourself. Fake it until you make it. And don't close your spirit within you. Another hard topic. 

I'm a private person who likes to overshare. Yes, it's not easy. But speak with someone about what's worrying you. Someone you trust. People are different, so they have different perspectives. They might be able to see the solution you overlooked. Be true to yourself. Show them your true self. And if they stay, you got yourself a lifetime lasting friendship. If not, you learned to stay away from that kind of person. You might be afraid because chances are 50-50, but I assure you that the result is far more satisfying. So open your mouth and show the world what you're about. Don't isolate yourself from others. Be present. Be happy. Life is way too short to be sad all the time. 

Living in the past. Do something. Think again. Objectively. Forgive. Let go. Fall in love with being alive again. Drink the coffee you like. And hang out with that old good friend. And look forward to the future. Change your thoughts. Make memories. And cherish them. And think about them more than you think about the bad times. Remember: by thinking it's a problem, you make it a problem. You give meaning to everything just by thinking about it. So give meaning to the right things. 

Instead, forgive others and yourself, and don't forget what it taught you. 

Wait a minute. Where is that gratefulness? Just because I didn't remind you, it doesn't mean that you should stop. What are you grateful for today? I'm grateful that I realized the state that I'm in, and I'm preparing to get over this. I'm grateful that I got back to writing. I'm grateful for the sound the tastes make when I write. It makes me feel special. 

Forgive. Be grateful. Love yourself.