I shook my head; I was getting way too far ahead of myself.
Pulling the cards towards him, he smiled at me again. I dragged myself back to reality and tried to stay there. Trying to suppress this budding obsession, I smiled back.
“So, are you just looking for a general reading?”
“Huh?” I responded, failing miserably as I was lost again in those incredible eyes. Why couldn’t I act normal?
“Are you looking for an answer to a specific question?” he gently prodded, without a hint of exasperation for my flighty behaviour. “Or are you just looking for a general reading?”
“Oh! Well, I’m kind of wondering about…” A blush flooded my face, and I began to feel stupid again for being here. “My… my love life.” The last two words came out as barely a whisper. I looked at the table, too ashamed to meet his gaze.
“Of course,” he said. His tone held no scorn; in fact, it was sweet. It gave me confidence to look up again.
His eyes were still kind, not judging me and my silly questions. But as I thought about it, he was probably like that with all his customers.
“My name’s Luc, by the way. And you are?”
“Rachel. Rachel Vaughn.”
“Well, Rachel, is there anything more specific you’d like to address, or just your general love life?”
“Well, it’s my boyfriend… my ex-boyfriend. I recently broke up with him. He cheated on me.” It all just tumbled out of my mouth. Why can’t I control myself around him? Suddenly hyperconscious of my appearance, I tried my best to covertly smooth my wild hair.
If I had known it was him, that I would be here, alone, with him, I could’ve prepared myself, done this right. I could’ve worn a killer outfit, hair tantalizingly mussed, and softly whimpered to him about just how awful Rick was. I could’ve hinted at how I was lonely and looking for someone new, hoping that he’d prefer to comfort me rather than play with cards.
I could’ve played it perfectly.
But instead, here I was, with my disastrous hair looking like it had been attacked by a muskrat, in clothes so hole-filled and stained I didn’t even wear them to the gym. I wasn’t wearing a smidge of makeup, and I could still feel the marks my new couch left on my face.
And yet, though a part of me wanted to crawl into a hole and die, I still felt comfortable with him. He didn’t seem to care what I looked like. Luc just continued to smile at me, like he was genuinely pleased to see me. I could feel myself melting a little, even as my rational half reminded me that this was probably just business for him.
“What a complete and utter asshole,” Luc said, still smiling, too polite to acknowledge my weirdness. It was almost strange to see such a sweet guy utter a profanity with such sincerity.
To hell with my rational side, I thought, as I melted a little more.
“Uhm, yes.” My conversational skills were unrivalled. “I was just wondering… if everything, you know… will be okay. If I’ll be okay.”
Luc nodded knowingly as he shuffled the deck, my eyes drawn to the cards in his hands. Now focusing on them, I noticed that the cards looked old, with their worn edges and curled corners. He did one more complicated shuffle, then flicked them out onto the table, spreading them into a complex formation with the dexterity of a Vegas dealer. Each card was laid face down.
Once he was done, his fingers hovered over one particular card before flipping it over. He paused, examined the card, and then moved on to the others, turning them over, one by one. Each card revealed a detailed, colourful image of people holding swords or carrying goblets or surrounded by stars, each captioned in a language I couldn’t read.
I watched as he carefully examined each card, fascinated… and then blanched when I recognized one of the figures on the card without need of a title. It was just a simple character, its face hidden under a long black hooded cloak, but it was carrying a scythe in his skeletal hand. The Grim Reaper—Death. Death had shown up in my future. Sceptic or not, that wasn’t exactly comforting. I gulped.
Luc must have noticed the change in my expression; he tapped the card lightly to get my attention. When I looked up at him, my eyes wide and desperate, he gave me patient look.
“These are tarot cards,” he said. “And you have no need to fear the Death card. It simply means change, or an end to something. In this position, it’s just speaking about the end of your last relationship. You’re perfectly safe.”
I sighed, relieved, feeling a little stupid. I couldn’t help but notice an amused little smile playing on his lips as he scanned the rest of the cards.
But as I watched, the smile that seemed to constantly be at his lips died, and his mouth pulled into a thin line of disapproval. I caught his eye as he shot me a sneaky glance, and his look sent chills through me. His eyes were steely and cold, the warmth gone, like a light had gone out. There was no more compassion there; his sweetness evaporated.
I expected him to break the facade, to laugh out loud at my reaction. His expression had to be a joke. I waited for him to return to normal and assure me everything was fine… but the longer we stared at each other, the more fear crept up my spine. His expression did not change. He wasn’t faking.
Was it something he saw? What was going to happen? My internal panic began to drown out my rational side completely.
“W-what is it?” I stammered, afraid to ask for fear of getting the wrong answer.
“Not much. Nothing too bad.” Luc’s voice was calm, but it had lost its previous playfulness and charm. He was all business now. “But you won’t meet anyone anytime soon. Romance isn’t in the cards for you at this moment. But your future is bright; you’ll find love eventually. Just not now. Not for a while. Nowhere close to you. That’s all it says.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
I winced before I could stop myself from reacting. My shoulders slumped, and I could feel the prickling of tears in my eyes. My inner strength roared up again, and I willed myself not to cry in front of a psychic. A Goddamn psychic for Christ’s sake! Why was I getting all worked up about something as stupid as this? This wasn’t even real.
But a weak, “Oh,” was all I could muster without my voice breaking. I nodded and stood, heading straight for the door. I felt so defeated. Involuntarily, Rick slipped into my mind, and suddenly everything seemed all the more horrible. My throat seized like I wanted to sob, but I fought it back.
All I wanted was to leave, to run back to my apartment and hide for the rest of my life, but something stopped me. Psychics—these horrible frauds—didn’t do this for free. I was going to have to pay Luc for humiliating me, and that at least pushed my anger ahead of my sadness.
I turned back to him, blinking away the tears, and shoved my hand into the pocket of my pants, feeling for the money I had reserved for dinner and light bulbs. I silently held it out for him; I didn’t even want to ask how much.
Luc still sat at the table, not looking at me but down at the cards. He must’ve felt my eyes on him; he flicked his gaze to me momentarily and saw that I was holding out money.
“No. No, t-this one is free. The first one is free,” he said, softly, with a strange hint of apology.
“How kind. Thanks,” I said, my tone cold, unable to hide my disappointment. I put the money back in my pocket, and as I turned to leave the little shop, promising myself I would never return, I swore I saw him glance at me with a look of deepest remorse.
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