It was a peaceful evening as the fireflies flashed around me and the owls hooted their words of wisdom. It was the perfect escape from everything: Max, Dorain, my past, my future, and all that makes up me. At least, it was almost perfect. I was supposed to be escaping my mind, but in reality all I had accomplished was frustrating myself further. The fireflies were soothing to watch, but they couldn’t tell me what I should do. Even with the owls’ words of wisdom, they still could not give me a straight answer.
Why was I so important to Dorian for him to go through so much trouble for my sake when I couldn't even remember him or how I used to feel about him? Why was Max trying so hard to help when even he doesn’t know what I’ve done in my past? When I regain my memories, I will have to choose between the two, but I am fearful of what the answer will be.
At my current state, I don’t know much about Dorian outside of what I have been told about him. I also don’t know what my feelings used to be for him. It makes deciding how I feel now complicated. Without the hint at my past, there is no way I would be considering Dorian as my partner for the rest of my life. However, knowing that we used to be a couple hinders my initial disinterest in him. If past me was in love with Dorian, then why wouldn’t I still be in love with him once I regain my memories? It’s hard to put together feelings when I only have someone’s words to base my past feelings off of. There was no reason for Dorian to lie to me about the relationship we used to share, and even though I don’t remember this love, the thought of hurting him scares me.
Then, there is Max. He has been at my side from almost the beginning. He took me in when I had nowhere else to go. He was there for me even before I began to speak again and he was there for me even though he didn’t know my past. As far as I know, he still does not know much about my past, yet he sticks with me. He is kind and trusting in a way that will get him killed one day. But, still, he shows me so much love and compassion with everything he does. It makes it hard to consider that there was ever love for someone other than him, yet there was.
I should have waited for my memories to come back to me before starting a new relationship. Maybe I wouldn’t be in the mess I am in because right now, I don’t want to hurt either of them, but it doesn’t matter what I do, one of them will suffer. So who do I choose: The man that used to be by my side when I had nothing to give or the man that is currently by my side even though I still have nothing to give?
I sigh heavily as I plop down onto the ground. It isn’t fair that I have to be stuck in this situation. Why was the decision up to me? Couldn’t the two of them just duke it out for my love? Or is that what they are currently doing?
I look out towards the forest hoping that maybe it could give me an answer, but all I got in return was some rustling. Wait, rustling? Something is here with me. I wonder if it can tell me what to do.
“Hello.” I call out.
What answers me, was not what I was expecting. A beautiful black and white horse walks into my view, but this isn’t a horse. I didn’t see it at first, but now I see that this is a unicorn. When I had pictured unicorns in my head, I’d always pictured them as solid white, but I am not disappointed with how this one looks.
The magical creature lowers its head and sniffs at me before speaking, “hello.”
Although I had come accustomed to speaking with wildlife, I am shocked by how easy it is to understand this beautiful animal in front of me. Not only am I speaking to an animal, but a unicorn, which the humans believe to be extinct. Moved into the spirit realm to recover from mass hunting, these creatures are still rare.
I reach out my hand to stroke its neck, but it jerks its head away from me. I do not blame the animal, I am a demon after all.
In an attempt to comfort it, I inform it. “I do not want to hurt you. I just want advice.”
“Advice? What advice would you need?” It questions me.
“I don’t know what to do. I have two men that are in love with me, but I don’t know who to choose. I don’t want to hurt either of them, and I don’t want to regret my choice either. What if I choose one and find out later I want the other?” I blurt out at the creature.
The unicorn recoils at my harsh speaking pattern. I didn’t mean to startle it, but I am just so frustrated. The unicorn doesn’t answer me, but instead, places its bony horn against my forehead. Images flash through my head as we stand there. None of it makes sense at first, but when the unicorn pulls away, I know the answer to my dilemma.
It was a unlikly but lucky encounter, and thanks to the majestic beast, I know what I must do.
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