We talk about different things, just standard ones, favorite movies, sports and so on. Mark has such a passionate way of talking about the things he loves. His eyes get this bright sparkle in them, and his whole face lights up. 

I keep asking him about the books he loves because I simply adore seeing him like that. It feels like he is the sunshine making my day brighter, and I love it. 

Although it sounds like a total cliche, I can't stop myself from having all these emotions I have never felt before. Somehow it feels like it's okay to get all emotional for Mark and no one else. And God, his smile, his ever-present smile, is so enchanting that I can't help but stare. 

I am not sure if he notices. Even if he does, he doesn't say anything. 

Why can't I be subtle and cool, like I usually am with all the girls? That question seems to have an easy answer. 

I have never liked any girls or boys for that matter as much as I like him. 

The more I stare in the general direction of his mouth, the more I want to press my lips against his and enjoy those plump lips of his. 

Focus Chris! Focus! I have to tell myself to snap out of the daze I fall into easily when I am around him.

Mark's smile grows larger and becomes a bit more flirtatious when he notices me staring. He is still very cautious, but it is clear he caught me staring at his lips which a guy who isn't interested would never do. 

Still, I try to play it down and talk about irrelevant things. I even start talking about the weather. 

Who even talks about the weather anymore? It is the most ridiculous subject change, and I know it, but he makes me freaking nervous, and my brain suddenly stops. Probably because it's too busy daydreaming about Mark. 

Mark seems to catch on that I am getting nervous again, and he smiles reassuringly at me. 

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"You seem so tense," he adds.

"Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking," I answer stupidly. 

"Thinking about what?" He asks. 

Of course, that is the moment I blush and start stuttering like an idiot. 

"Hm... I... I've been thinking how good this coffee is?" I say in a way that makes it sound more like a question than anything else.

As I say that, I can see Mark struggling to keep his expression neutral. Then, suddenly he loses the battle with himself and starts laughing out loud. 

It seems like he is trying to stop himself, but it is impossible. 

"I am...sorry..." He says through his laughter. 

"I...can't ...stop... That is ...such a bad lie... I can't even..." he trails off. 

That is the moment I turn even redder, but this time anger is the emotion that colors my face. 

Here I am, fantasizing about him, and he is laughing at me. 

I don't think he notices my reaction because he is laughing so hard that he is crying. Tears keep streaming down his face, and he is holding onto his stomach, which probably hurts from laughing so hard. 

The rational part of my mind knows that this kind of laughter is not something you can control, but I don't care. I feel offended and hurt that this gorgeous man I like so much is laughing at me. Overwhelmed by my anger, I can feel that my eyes will soon start tearing up from rage, so I suddenly jump up and bolt towards the exit of the restaurant. 

The moment I reach the curb, I feel a pair of strong hands grabbing me by the elbow and turning me back. 

The first thing I see when I turn around is Mark's huge, scared eyes. There is no trace of merriment left in them as he realizes how angry his laughter had made me. 

Fear and regret are the only things that I can see now, and that is when the understanding hits me. 

He didn't understand I left because I didn't want him to see the angry tears in my eyes. He thinks I left him. 

It hurt him much more than I expected. 

I can see in his eyes that he thinks he has lost me, that I will turn my back on him and never come back.

 

"I am sorry," Mark says softly, his voice weak and worried. 

We are so close to each other that I can hear his heart beating so fast that I am surprised I can detecting anything but those powerful heartbeats. 

I feel like a complete douchebag for hurting him like that, and I am not sure if there is anything I can say that can wipe away that new sadness in his eyes. 

Well, I was always more of an action guy.

In a sudden burst of uncharacteristic courage from my side, I lean in and do what I spent so many nights dreaming of doing, I kiss Mark. At first, he seems shocked by my action, and then after a second of hesitation, he is kissing me back so fiercely that my head starts spinning. 

There are so many indescribable feelings swimming through my whole body that I don't know what to think. I can't actually think. 

All I can focus on are his soft lips and the intoxicating taste of him. 

It feels so right, kissing him, that I can't help but put my hands in his soft and lush hair and comb my fingers through it. 

As for Mark, his hands find my waist, and he holds on so tight as if he is afraid I might just walk away, although that idea doesn't even cross my mind. 

Sooner than I like, we have to break the kiss to breathe in some air, but that doesn't stop him from kissing the corner of my mouth, then my chin... Once he gently kisses my neck, I can't help but let out a quiet moan. 

Upon hearing that, he seems bolder as he starts sucking on my neck, which makes me instantly melt into him. 

Too soon, he stops. 

"I have been wanting to do that for such a long time," he whispers.

His hot breath tickles my ear, and I can't help but shiver. 

"Me, too," I whisper back shyly. 

"As much as I love kissing you here, in the cold, I think we should go back in before we freeze to death," he says with a giant smile on his face. 

I just nod my head as he grabs my hand and pulls me back into the restaurant. When we sit down, I immediately go back to my coffee in a vain effort to slow down my heart rate, which is so fast and loud that I am surprised that everyone can't hear it.