Belle knew her time with Yuta was long overdue. She could feel the time ticking along as they walked together towards Central Station. 

This time, Yuta was matching her slow pace. As he sipped through the straw, he watched her mindfully. 

"Are you really 33?", he asked abruptly. 

"Yes", Belle answered curtly. 

She knew what question would come next, it's always the "are you working/study?" type question and once she answered that, it would be a barrage of questions she had barely any expertise in dodging no matter how much exposure she had. If Belle caught ten dollars for every time that question was directed her the past six months, she thought she'd be a rich old lady. 

Cursing inside, Belle knew she had to confront the topic sooner or later. Because every new acquaintance wants to know. To either accept or reject you. To either think you're useful or useless.  

"I don't work. That's all," Belle blurted. "Not right now, anyway…", her voice trailed off. Her last words were almost grabbing any ounce of dignity she could salvage. 

She had always felt ashamed to answer those kind of questions and tonight she felt trepidation by admitting it. Yuta might tease her, argue with her or discriminate against her way of life. It was always the case with new acquaintances. If it wasn't telling her how much they worked and outright resentment at how little she suffered. It was how she hadn't ticked off that base social expectation of survival and career progression. Or lastly, the unspoken elephant in the room that pervaded their negativity; how privileged they felt she was to withstand the terrors of working life. 

"That's fine, it's not for everyone", was the reply she received. "You don't have to justify it to me."

At that moment, Belle felt so relieved she could cry. She had never heard that before, of someone being so articulately…kind about it. If she could identify the feelings of appreciation and love at that moment, she might've caught it. 

Yuta lit up his cigarette as they walked through the park and he asked no more. 

yuta
For someone that liked to talk a lot, she sure clammed up when the topics of age and work and stuff came up. He could tell that it bothered her. Whether it was related to pride or just meeting social goals, he couldn't tell. 

Anyway, it mattered very little to him.

Climbing social ladders wasn't really something he respected anyway. He'd seen enough clout chasers and gold diggers to know that what society respected didn't necessarily denote your value as a person. It was more likely than not the opposite. The more authentic sorts were more than likely locking themselves in their bedrooms playing video games to avoid the shitshow outside. 

Looking at her right now, she looked like she was walking on toothpicks. She looked tired but when he looked right into her eyes she had a gleam he couldn't quite identify but it looked fascinating. She looked happy. Was it something he said, he wondered. If so, well that's kinda…endearing he thought to himself. Someone actually thought something he said was worthwhile listening to.  

belle
As they neared the platforms at the Central Station concourse, Belle knew her daydream with Yuta would end when she boarded her train. 

She wanted to take down his number for no other reason than to know him better but she didn't want to look thirsty so she hadn't. She was an older girl and she knew it. Obviously, pretty young things had a better chance at securing dates with Yuta than she definitely had right now. She knew there was an inch of feeling and attraction for him but it was almost impossible to execute. She was grappling between right and wrong in pursuing him. Her mind said wrong. Her heart said right. What was she to do? 

Either way, fate would play itself out however it liked. And Belle definitely hoped fate would point Yuta to at least ask for her contact.  

Just as they both took out their phones to refresh the Tripview app, Yuta's phone pinged a call. 

As he spoke in his low husky breath on his call, she pretended to busy herself with her own phone by scrolling her whatsapp chat logs whilst eavesdropping. 

"Yeah. Yeah. Ah. It's done. Home soon, yeah. Okay, love you too. Bye," were his words on the call. 

Hearing the last four words of his call, Belle felt her heart drop. No way.