My eyes flutter under my eyelids, stirring to the sound of gentle music. I slip my hand under my pillow and press messily at the side of my phone until I finally hit the volume button, silencing my alarm.

I sit up, stretching my arms in front of me, crossing my legs. I feel a bit of something, a little dizzy.

Memories of the night before flood me, the night of celebration and of fun. And more media drama.

I slide my phone from under my pillow, plucking the charger and beginning my investigation. The first thing I do is check my messages, vaguely remembering seeing Fahim's name last night. 

He informed me of the picture leak, linking it back to StoneRose and asking me what I know. He also said something very important. Something I really should've read last night.

Dad 2.0 - Fahim, 21:43 Don't worry, Sydney is already working on a solution. Don't do anything until I contact you again.

It all hits me. The memories. Sitting outside with Leona, asking for help, messaging the poor kid. Oh god, I messaged a fan, who was being attacked, while I was drunk. 

I don't want to look at it. I can't look at it. My stomach churns with nerves that'd feel great under any other circumstance. I feel my hands begin to tremble, and my cheeks burn. A mix of anxious embarrassment. 

It's nearly 10am, not too early. I think he'd be up. I hope he's up, I could do with a smart, thoughtful person right about now. 

You, 09:55 You awake?  I made a mistake pls help

More nerves gather in my chest, fluttering down to my stomach and back up. My hands feel damp with sweat and my body is heavy, tired, yet my mind spikes with energy.

Isaac's caller ID pops up on my screen, my grip loosens in brief shock. He went straight to calling.

"Hey," I greet him, my voice rough from my tired, slightly hung over state. 

Isaac sounds the complete opposite, amused and energised. "What did you do this time?"

"Have you seen the recent shit? They think there's a picture of you online."

"No? I barely go on social media, nevermind your corner of it." He shrugs me off, but there's still a hint of intrigue to his tone.

"You're like - the main event on 'my corner' of the Internet right now! How do you not check it?" 

"I have other stuff to do."

I scoff, "Like researching why those goldfish have such big cheeks?" 

"The Bubble Eye?" 

"Not the point!" I interject, pulling the wheel to put us back on track. "I made a huge mistake while I was drunk and messaged a fan who has been passed off as you and now he's being attacked and I don't remember exactly what I said to him or if he even replied." 

I take a moment to breathe after, recovering from my worried slurry of words. 

Isaac stays quiet a moment longer, taking it all in. I expect him to judge me, or to think of me as the idiot I am. Instead, he breaks out laughing. Just a quiet, contained laugh, but it still catches me in surprise. 

"What-" I start, pausing to think. Did I say something dumb? 

"Sorry. You messaged someone else too?" He steadies himself out, pure amusement once again clear in his tone. 

Now it's my turn dipping into silence. Too? I have no memory of texting Isaac, at all. I don't think I've ever sent a drunk text unprompted before. 

I pull my phone down, scrambling through smooth buttons under glass and resting my wary eyes upon our message thread.

You, 00:31 HEY Im clebratenimg my album and I can cant belive I did it!  You gottaf listen to it when it commas out I'll sending you kinks to it when it do 00:32 Oh tax is here! 

Neighbour Boy, 00:34 Hey You seem to be enjoying yourself.

You, 00:35 [Audio Message. Click to play] 

Neighbour Boy, 00:38 I'm starting to regret inviting you out. 

You, 00:40 Twit be fun! 🎉🎉🎂🎊😁

No no no, no. Why did I message him? And an audio message? What did I say to him?!

My cheeks start burning when I remember what I said to Adekemi. He's pretty. She didn't bring that up in the recording right? I didn't say anything, I hope. How would I play that off?

It's just a compliment, it's not anything weird. I get them all the time by people I don't even know – not to brag. 

But this is very different. I get this feeling, a deeply embedded warm, fuzzy feeling infiltrated with drops of embarrassment and nerves. It's too far to reach, but I think I know what it is. Something I'm so not ready to think about, much less feel. 

"What, um. What does the audio message say?" I ask hesitantly, my heart stammering loudly against my ribs. 

"You were singing with people in your taxi I'm pretty sure. Very bad singing, are you sure you're a musician?" His voice is light, joking and still has that damn amused spark to it. Glad to hear how entertaining my panicked ass is.

Oh, I so can't wait to get that nerf gun. 

"Jesus Chri- Unlisten to it!"

"Do you actually not know how hearing works?" 

"Be careful, Rowen, I'll know where you live soon enough." My threat gets laughed at. So I pout.

"You'll know? Haha, yep you're actually uninvited now." His energy sparks through the phone like big bursts of electricity, infecting me with this morning joy. 

"Okay, shut up! I asked you for help, not to be humiliated and disowned."

He hums, a sarcastic sure barely staying in his throat. "So, you messaged this guy drunk. What did you say?"

I go quiet, all of my playful barriers drop, leaving me exposed and cold. My bedsheets twist between my fingers and give my eyes a place to rest.

"I… haven't looked. I can't bring myself to." I wince at the shame clear in my voice, not meaning to sound like that.

I know Isaac heard it too, his tone drops a few notes, becoming a little more serious. "I'm sure it isn't that bad. Look at it while I'm here, it'll be fine." He tries to reassure me, but I feel the same embarrassment as a 13 year old texting their crush for the first time. 

I can do it, it's not like it's hard. But I don't think I can handle seeing what I wrote - or more like, I can't handle the consequences of messaging a fan while I'm drunk. Even if I had the best intentions. 

I can't look at it, but… 

The gears in my brain start turning, clicking with each new cog making up the final structure. They continue to turn, allowing me to speak.

"Isaac, look for me. I'll give you my password. Please."

"What? Don't you have a team for that? If you're that worried then let them handle it." 

"I have to know what I wrote. What if it's really bad? I can't let my team- Sydney see that! Please do this for me, I'll promise not to sing on your birthday. Pretty please?" I beg. 

He mumbles a few things, words of rejection, but pauses and lets out a deep sigh.

"Fine." He agrees and I smile, full of hope. "But if this goes badly in any way, I am in no way responsible."

"Yes! Thank you so much!" I cheer, the stress slowly lifting from me. 

He opens the app online, putting my details in and accessing my profile. I dismiss the email telling me there was a Recent login on a new device and tell him to look for StoneRose in my messages. 

But he doesn't. 

"Oh, your interactions were pretty low on Wednesday. Bad day huh?" Isaac comments, looking through my analytics like the nerd he is. 

"Isaac." 

"I can see your archived posts? How old is your account?" His bubbling enquiries go unanswered, I'm too busy holding the bridge of my nose regretting my life decisions to pay any attention. 

"Isaac." I try again, sterner. 

"Okay okay, I'm looking. StoneRose right?" He asks and I confirm, waiting patiently for him to read through the messages.

A suppressed snicker reverberates through the speaker and my relaxed state goes out the window, my back straightening and muscles tensing. 

"What?" I ask with white knuckles curling around my duvet. 

"Your texts make no sense. I love drunk people with autocorrect. His replies are almost funnier." 

"He replied? Oh no, what happened?" 

"Calm down, it's nothing bad." I can hear Isaac's smile again. He might be laughing at me – or at past-me – but the sound still soothes me. Just a little. 

"Read it out! Please."

Isaac begins reading, a mental image of the text thread forming in my mind. The first thing I'm mortified about, is the first message. The one I was pretty happy with when I'd sent it, the only one I remember writing.

JemJohnstone Hey, tis such a wired situsrikn and I'm soup sorry you've been dragged g into this. Wheat work out what to do sobhold tight!! 

My hand rises back to my face so fast I nearly smack myself with it. I should've let it hit me, maybe it would've knocked some sense into me. 

Isaac keeps reading. 

JemJohnstone Ignore those rude plepele they're making things up You have knife hair And you freckles too I always wanted freckles but the sin doesn't like me much You're a chosen one

StoneRose Hello! I'll ignore how weird these texts are because omfg you're messaging me!  Thank you for this, even if you're… High?

JemJohnstone  Drunk!! I finished my album! were arr celebranting/

StoneRose Oh yeah, I'm excited to hear it!  I hope you're having a fun celebration. 

Aw, he sounds so polite. I can't believe I did this. 

What does he think of me now? What has he told other people? Will this get out? So many questions flood me all at once, I can barely breathe. Drowning in all the possible consequences of my stupid actions. 

Isaac seems to notice and he stops reading. He lets me sit and think for a few minutes, something I'm immensely grateful for.

"See, they're nothing bad. It's actually quite a sweet conversation, all things considered. Especially with how you had to tell everyone how excited you are for your album release." He tries to reassure me. 

It works just a little. His soft voice penetrates the wall of worry built up within me, accessing the dwindling hope in my chest. 

"Do you want me to message him for you?" He asks with complete care and concern. Sending a silent message, telling me it's okay. It's fixable. 

"If you have something good to say."

"When don't I?" His voice smiles again, but the teasing tone usually laced in a comment like this is nowhere to be heard.

I find myself smiling too, only a small one. 

"I need to apologise first. Then um.. Make sure he's okay. I don't know how well he'll handle the hate he's getting. I…" I trail off, fading out as I go on. 

Isaac waits for me to continue, expecting more. I guess there is, but it's jumbled in my mind. Still the first draft of a thought, lingering among my messy feelings.

"Okay," Isaac finally says, "hmm, how about: My apologies for last night, I should not have messaged you when I was drunk. I was worried about how you're dealing with the comments and I want to know how you are?"

"Sounds alright. If you think it'll help, then please, go for it." My mind's sudden exhaustion pulls my eyes closed and I focus on breathing, trying to relax every muscle in my body. 

Isaac types it out, silently. Informing me when he finishes, and we wait. 

"Is there something else on your mind?" Isaac asks, going back to what he sensed earlier. 

I shuffle in my bed, leaning back against my pillows for some extra comfort. Time to think has passed and I've gathered my thoughts, able to string them into coherence. Still, I'm reluctant to do so. 

"Just… They're attacking this kid, not because they actually don't like him. How could they? They don't know him. No, they're attacking him because of me. And who they think he is. You." I explain, rubbing my temple and catching my cheek between my teeth. 

Isaac seems to understand what I'm getting at. "Are you worried about me, still?" 

"Of course I am! Look at the mess I've gotten you in, your life could be turned upside down with one post from a random idiot online. I don't want you getting hurt." My voice trembles slightly, my fear spikes and I want to crawl into a hole like a tiny crab on a shore. Hidden from the world. 

"Jem," He breathes out slowly, his voice muffled ever so slightly by what I imagine to be his hand touching his face, maybe a sleeve of the huge hoodies he likes wearing brushing upon his pale skin.

"It is not your fault. You didn't leak the screenshots and you certainly didn't ask for any of this. You just wanted to do what you love. Don't for a second apologise for that, you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Actually, you should be proud of yourself for getting this far despite how ignorant and small minded people can be." He speaks clearly, a confident force behind each word. 

There's a certain power to it, I can't help but wonder if he's been through something similar. It felt like he was talking from a familiar place, like he has felt what I'm feeling. This self blame, this guilt. Though I can't think of why. What could've happened to him?... Is he still feeling this way? 

His words play through my mind, trying to convince me that it's okay. Or, it will be okay. I can trust Isaac's words.

"Yeah… People suck." I'm barely audible, but he hears it. He always hears me. 

"You can't control it. But you can control these drunk texts, Jesus Jem, bad life choices."

"Ugh, shut up!"

I listen to him laugh, relief washing through him too. I feel the faintest smile run along my lips, my heart swelling with a completely different feeling.

Isaac really is my best friend, today - this past month has been rich with proof, being there for me despite everything. Which is why I can't accept these feelings. So I push them back down, and focus on the matter at hand. On StoneRose.

EXTRA The first messages.