Trying not to tear up while the world passed me by was harder than I thought. The bell went off, and broke the thick tension that came after Isabella's proclamation---the one where she passed me a curious look, as though she was trying to see if I was the one whose alter ego she just stole, to see if I would react in any way.

Maybe I should have, but it was already too late now that everyone was in motion.

I had the chance. I didn't grab it. Isabella did. It was that simple. It was that painful.

And that pain intensified in my chest when Parker glanced back at me before he walked away with her by his side, her hand grasped in his. His features were arranged in a small smile that seemed to say, "Better luck next time."

I had no idea whether there would be a next time, and I didn't have better luck come my way---not even in Algebra and History. I was in the former class with Isabella McCarthy, and even though I tried my best to concentrate, being asked to find the 'x' in every single equation wasn't the best thing. It hit too close to home---I never figured math would ever have me want to tear my hair out at the thought of finding an ex I never had, and wishing desperately to remove 'y' from the equation. 'Y' was in McCarthy. 'Y' was what I kept asking myself the entire period.

Why did she do it? Why didn't I speak up? Why had she lied even after I begged her with my eyes not to? Why was I beating myself up over it instead of confronting her? Why was I listening to the exchange between her and that other girl with the gap in her teeth? The one where they giggled and laughed and one planned to tell the other whatever happened?

But that class eventually passed, and weirdly, the motivation to get rid of that cursed variable had me scoring pretty high in the test we took.

My head swam through the extensive talk of dead people and how they shaped society into what it was now, and History was History pretty quickly.

Usually, I looked forward to Lunch. I sat with Micky, Anashi and Akio, a table away from where Parker usually sat with his friends. He wasn't there today. And Isabella wasn't at her table either.

I tried not to think anything of it while I bit into one of the oatmeal cupcakes I brought. Just because they both weren't there didn't mean they were together, right?

That bite was the only one I took until I got nauseated by the next thing my eyes fell on. I was wrong, very wrong. The implications of the change were exactly what I had been driving at, because they were indeed together. Alone together. Together alone. At that table which had been left abandoned in the corner because of the extensive sunlight, which flooded the area every day.

I couldn't swallow anything down, my throat drying up while my eyes watered at the sight of them talking, and giggling, and touching. Isabella's head was propped up on her hand as she stared at Parker with a smile as he said something, her other hand moving to turn his face towards her, convincing him to take a bite out of the apple she picked up. He did so eagerly.

I was going to retch. I couldn't stomach the thought that it could have been me over there with Parker, isolated and in our own company, basking in the spotlight the sun bestowed and laughing over anything and everything, holding hands and almost kissing that one time his head tilted a bit too close, running my fingers over the fading stroke of the marker---which had never looked lighter.

"Dude, you okay?" Micky asked, breaking me out of my head by poking my poking until I faced him.

"I am," I managed to blurt out.

"You kinda spaced out a little there," he observed, looking at me closely. "And you haven't touched your food. Which is very strange for you, actually."

"Because I'm not hungry." I didn't mean to snap at Micky at my folly, nor did I mean to grab the attention and gazes of students to myself. I didn't even bother to check if Parker and Isabella were included. The longer I stayed, the more likely it was that I was going to vomit. Or cry. Or both. "I'm gonna go to the quad."

"Eh alright..." Micky stared at me with worry while Anashi avoided my gaze and Akio just continued eating. "Can I one cupcake though? And the apple?" he asked.

"Yes, Micky."

I grabbed my backpack from the bench and left the cafeteria, only to meet Laura a few feet away from the door. She gestured wildly to me and pulled me aside, a grimace on her face when the hand which lay on my shoulder got stained with a stray tear.

"I'm so sorry, Adrian. I had no idea he was texting someone the whole--- " Laura started in consolation, squeezing my shoulder. Way to remind me of the one thing I didn't want to talk about.

I interrupted her, my voice croaky from the dryness that scraped at my throat. "I did."

"You knew Parker and Isabella have a thing going on?"

Clenching my teeth, I inhaled sharply. The tears were menacingly close now, and I had to lower my gaze so Laura wouldn't see them. "I know they didn't. And that whoever he has it with is not Isabella."

"What do you mean it's not? They're both---"

I swallowed a lump which formed in my throat. "It's me, Laura. I'm the one he's been texting. I can show you if you don't believe me."

Even though her expression was sceptical and a little reluctant with taking in the information, Laura still walked to the cafeteria door and looked through the windows, taking a while before she said, "Then go ahead and tell him, Adrian! He's right there."

Right there with Isabella. "I can't."

"I will drag you there myself if I have to." She reached for my hand, which I tucked into my pocket.

"Laura, look at them. They look happy. And they fit each other, I guess. I don't even know if Parker likes guys." My shoulders fell as I dug my teeth into my bottom lip, turning away before the burning in my eyes could roll down my face.

"Before now, no one knew whether he liked girls either. Parker's never shown interest in anyone until you---or your fictional character---whatever."

Fictional. Mystery wasn't real, wasn't even me. "You think---"

"That came out wrong." She winced before regaining her posture. "Besides, he probably doesn't like girls and is only entertaining Isabella out of pity."

I get that Laura said that to make me feel better about things, but I could only think of one thing: if Parker didn't like guys, he would also have been entertaining me out of pity too. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn't been able to move or speak. The only thing worse than someone not feeling the same way about you, was them liking you out of pity.

She must have read my thoughts through my expression because the next thing she said was "Oh no, Adrian, I didn't mean it like that." Her hands went around me, and she pressed me into a hug I didn't know I needed. "You're a great person, and I'm sure Parker will think that too. Consider letting him know, okay?"