As Tamia drives Joshua to work, she casually asks about Rory’s party.

For reasons that Joshua would rather not get into this early in the morning, he replies with a lie and tells her that he had a nice time. He even boosts Rory up by telling Tamia how Rory had been an excellent host. Joshua gives Tamia the PG version of what all had gone down last night, deliberately leaving out everything that happened after Joshua went into Rory’s bedroom.

Joshua keeps the truth from Tamia because it’s too painful for him to relive.

It isn’t often that one gets to hangout and make-out with their crush only to be brutally rejected by them a few minutes later, all in one night. Joshua is so down in the dumps that he barely had enough energy to get up for work this morning. Tamia merely thinks he’s suffering from a hangover. Joshua wishes that were the case.

"I know you aren’t feeling too hot this morning, so if you decide to leave early just give me a ring and I’ll come back to scoop you up,” Tamia says after pulling up to the supermarket. With only one car between them, some days Tamia takes Joshua to work and vice versa. "I’m off today, so I'll be at home."

"Okay, thanks." Joshua reluctantly exits the car, sluggishly making his way inside the store to clock in and work eight hours that he mentally isn’t prepared for.

For it to be a Saturday morning, the store is much busier than what it usually is. Joshua has to work harder than what he normally does, and he loathes every minute of it. Days like this make him want to quit until he remembers how he has no backup plan. School isn’t an option, and not because he can’t afford it, but because he simply doesn’t have the drive to go back. 

Joshua had lost his mother during his first year at community college, that moment having created a negative association that Joshua has yet to unlink. 

"Yikes. Looks like someone didn’t get enough sleep last night," Lucas comments while making his way over to Joshua around noon, having only thirty minutes to spare for lunch. "What happened after the Uber dropped you off at home? Did you keep the party going with Tamia or what? And if so, why the hell wasn’t I invited?"

"Nothing happened. I just wasn’t able to doze off until after midnight," Joshua mutters, not in the mood to talk.

Lucas doesn’t know how to take a hint because he continues to run his mouth, telling Joshua about all the guys that he met last night, all the phone numbers that he managed to get. Meanwhile, Joshua’s line has been absolutely dry. Rory hasn’t called or texted him, not that Joshua had been expecting him to, considering how they parted ways last night. 

Joshua eventually tunes out of the conversation because he’s so over that disastrous fucking party. He now wishes that he’d never gone, had never accepted Rory’s invitation.

Joshua had been tempted to block and delete Rory’s number from his phone, but he hasn’t yet. He hasn’t because that would then make all of this real, him pushing Rory out of his life for good because after last night, it’s obvious they’ll never be friends. Joshua is stuck at an impasse. And frankly, he still feels like he’s dreaming, like this is all too good to be true.

Joshua never thought he'd get the opportunity to be that close to Rory, close enough to touch and kiss him. As badly as he had wanted to get a different ending for last night, Joshua would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't miss the good parts of what had happened between him and Rory. From the flirting to the kissing to the touching, everything had been going great until Joshua abruptly questioned Rory’s sexuality.

Now that he's sober and thinking with a clear head, Joshua understands how that set Rory off. Even though Joshua had the right to know, he realizes that because of the bad timing, he ended up throwing Rory into a tough spot when all he was trying to do was have fun. Joshua wanted to have fun as well, but he also didn't want to end up hurt after the fun came to an end.

Joshua hadn’t wanted to end up as some straight boy’s experiment because they were curious about how it’d feel to be with a guy. All Joshua had wanted was Rory, the real Rory Carter, whoever that may be. Instead, what Joshua got was rejection and disappointment, left to pick up the broken pieces of his heart and put it back together alone. 

Maybe this is why they say you should never meet your idols.

"Anyway, tell me how you're holding up." Lucas finally stops rambling about himself and gives Joshua the chance to talk. "I saw that Rory was pretty busy with the ladies last night. I'm sure you must have felt some type of way about that."

"Busy with the l-ladies?” Joshua asks, officially tuned back into the conversation. “What do you mean by that? What ladies?"

"Seriously? Don't tell me I was paying more attention to your crush than you." Lucas sighs, shaking his head. “Ugh, fine. But I'm only telling you this because I don't want you to continue to get your hopes up with this guy. Evidently, he’s into trashy blondes, not cute little twinks.”

Joshua rolls his eyes. “The ladies…?” 

“Right, right. So while you were off being a loner, there was one point in the night where I saw Rory making out with two girls…at the same time,” Lucas says. “I was shocked to see him doing something like that because you’ve hyped him up as being this pure and shining star. Clearly, he isn’t. But no shade to the man because I wasn’t much of a saint last night either. Still, I felt like you should know what your boy had been up to."

“Yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks for telling me.”

Joshua isn't stupid.

He knew he couldn’t have been the only person that Rory had hooked up with last night. Even so, hearing and visualizing it, Rory tonguing down two women in a three-way kiss, it leaves Joshua feeling betrayed which is absurd because he and Rory aren’t dating. They're barely friends. Rory Carter can kiss whoever he wants. Hell, Rory is probably sleeping next to that Hailey chick right now, Joshua assumes, having forgotten all about the kisses they exchanged.

"Damn. Look at what the cat dragged in," Lucas whispers to Joshua, nodding towards the entrance of the store. “He almost looks as terrible as you.”

Joshua’s stomach drops after he catches sight of Rory. He suddenly feels the urge to run and hide but his legs refuse to cooperate. "I-I can't face him! Not after what happened last..."

“Last night? What about last night?” Lucas perks up, eyeing Joshua suspiciously. “Oh my God…did something happen between you and Rory at the party last night?"

“What? No way!” Joshua puts on his best poker face, but Lucas sees right through it.

“Liar, liar, that little virgin ass is on fire!” Lucas smirks. “I’m not leaving until all the tea has been spilled, so get to pouring.”