He could hear everything.
Finnian was about halfway down the hallway by the time it settled in. First he found himself hyperaware of the freshmen discussing their assignments a few feet away, catching every word of their nonsensical chatter when he couldn't care less about magic theory. For a moment he wondered if he was listening to them so intently because of how confidently wrong they were about everything, but the moment he decided to stalk over and give them a piece of his mind, more and more sounds began to set in.
Voices. Voices. All around him, so many voices, talking, talking, about anything and everything at once. A pair of junior girls gossiping about a classmate. A group of guys arguing loudly over a video game. A couple whispering to each other about their upcoming date. Students talking trash about teachers and discussing homework and assignments. He could hear shrill laughter from behind the corner, loud sobbing between the lockers. Someone's sneeze from goodness knew where, and that wasn't even touching on the endless pitter-patter of a dozen sets of footsteps.
It wasn't even that the noises were louder than before. Finnian was just more aware of them when they'd usually have been nothing but background noise, somehow focusing on all of them at once and unable to follow a single one of them. It was just noise to him, an incomprehensible word salad that he couldn't tune out anymore.
Gritting his teeth, he hurried on, trying to think of something other than the noise. It couldn't be that hard. Get distracted, and all of this would go back to being background noise at the edge of his consciousness and he could carry on as always. He tried to focus on Mercury Day again, the mystery of her parentage, the photograph of the man who could only be her father. It was something that had constantly consumed his thoughts of late. But right now, no matter how hard he focused, he still couldn't block out all the sounds and voices.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!
He wanted to yell at them all, wanted to cover his ears, but he restrained himself. He'd be damned if he blew up at people over something like this. It was probably just the stress from the weekend getting to him. The last thing he needed was to publicly show weakness.
The classroom was empty when he entered, empty and blessedly quiet. Finnian collapsed into his chair, already exhausted before his classes had even begun.
He only managed to relax for a moment. Then, after the initial relief, sounds began to drift in through the wall and the closed door and the window. People talking as they passed. Footsteps. Someone's keys jangling as they walked, and—oh, he was going to murder the person who was walking through the hallways in loud, clacking heels.
His head was beginning to hurt. But more than anything he still wanted to slam open the door and yell at everyone to just shut up and be quiet.
Class began. Finnian was on edge. The sensation did not get better for the entire time, and he found himself distracted by the tiniest of noises. The girl three rows behind him who wouldn't stop bouncing her leg. The scratching of pens on paper. Even the breathing of his classmates was suddenly unsettlingly loud.
The next class began, and the next. Finnian fled from quiet place to quiet place, covering his ears whenever he was alone and unobserved, desperately clinging to any crumbs of silence he could get his hands on. His headache was getting worse. He snapped at three different people who didn't deserve it, and with every new sound, every new distraction he found himself closer and closer to the edge of tears.
He bit his lip. Disgraceful. No matter how stressed he was, he couldn't go around throwing tantrums over some stupid noises. What was he, a tired toddler? He heard these sounds every damn day. What was different all of a sudden?
Unless…
He thought back to the broken headphones in his hands, the look of panic on Hikaru's face. The lightning-quick flash of his hand before he had turned and left—but no, that couldn't be. Even if Hikaru was capable of such an enchantment, Finnian hadn't sensed any magic beyond the undercurrent that was always there. And without magic, how could he have done this at all?
Were there ways to use magic without making it visible to other mages? Secret tricks and techniques no one had taught him about? Or had Hikaru just been so quick that he hadn't seen it in time?
To hell with it. He didn't care. Whether or not Hikaru had done anything to him, he wouldn't give in regardless. He'd grit his teeth and bear it. He wasn't some weakling who needed to rely on headphones just to get through his day.
Or so he thought, until in alchemy class they had to do an experiment.
Cassander was next to him, as always. He had given him a worried glance, but he hadn't brought up the topic of their argument again, something Finnian would always be grateful to him for. He hadn't asked any questions either. He had simply noticed that Finnian didn't want to talk right now, so he had sat next to him in silence.
Everyone else, however, hadn't gotten that memo.
He should be used to it, really. It was always like this. It was supposed to be like this. Experiments were group work; people always talked while conducting them. And it had never bothered him before, not until today.
Finnian stared at the instructions on the board, then at the equipment in front of him. He had forgotten to get the silver spoon again, even though he'd gotten up twice to get it. It was just that, the moment he had stood up, someone or something distracted him and he had promptly found himself wondering why he was standing up at all.
"It's okay, I'll get it," Cassander told him, walking over to the equipment cupboard and leaving him feeling like an idiot. When he returned, he regarded Finnian for a moment before asking, "You okay?"
"Absolutely fine," Finnian replied, rolling his eyes. "Fantastic. Glorious. Never been better."
Cassander's frown deepened. "Is it because of this morning? If so, then I'm sorry, I—"
"It's not," Finnian said pointedly, "because of this morning. Just my very first migraine."
Cassander furrowed his brow, but thankfully he understood and didn't say anything else. Finnian relaxed just slightly. One less thing to take up his attention, one less thing to feebly try and focus on while being flooded with sounds from all directions.
Forcing down the stress, the headache, Finnian tried to focus on the experiment. It should be easy enough—easy enough, if he just—
Two dozen people. Two dozen voices and conversations, all going on at once.
Too loud. Too loud. Too damn loud!
And deep inside him, his last thread of patience snapped and broke.
"Shut up!" he screamed, jumping from his chair, knocking it over as he stumbled towards the door. "Shut the hell up, all of you! Why can't you just be quiet?"
Stunned silence fell. He could feel their eyes on him, but it was too late. He had already blown up, shown his weakness, and there was no going back.
Or turning back, for that matter. He couldn't face them. Not when he was still on the verge of tears.
"Finnian," Mr. Hawthorne's voice carried across the classroom, stern and annoyed and just the slightest bit worried. "Where do you think you're going?"
He shrugged. "Nurse's office," he said, just to say anything. "Migraine."
Before anyone could say anything else, do anything else, he yanked open the door and stormed out. The hallways were blessedly quiet. But still not quiet enough.
And what now?
He didn't actually want to see the school nurse. He just wanted silence, a few minutes' respite from everything around him. Some quiet, some peace, enough for his nerves to calm down and the pain in his head to subside.
Maybe he'd just stay out of class for the rest of the day, he thought. Maybe he'd get Lucy to pick him up early and hole himself up in his room with no one and nothing but Anthony for company. He didn't want to go back to class today. Or the hallways, let alone lunch. The mere thought of the cafeteria set him on edge again. The chatter, the talk, all the people walking and pushing chairs and eating and drinking and—he couldn't face it. Not without some precaution, some kind of…
…noise-canceling headphones.
Something clicked in his head. Oh. Oh.
Hiyama, you son of a bitch.
So this had been Hikaru's revenge. Finnian still didn't know how he had done it without invisible magic, but he wouldn't stand for it. The moment he found the guy, he'd give him a piece of his mind. But not now. Right now his feet carried him out of the school building, across the grounds, to the one place he always found himself in when he needed to clear his head.
The flying grounds were empty at this time of the day. There was another smaller flying range on the other side of the school where gym class sometimes took place, but this one belonged exclusively to the team, and practice was still a few hours away. The sky was cloudy, and there was no sound here except for the wind rustling quietly over the grass.
Finnian relaxed a little, taking a deep breath…
…and found himself face to face with a familiar figure.
Finnian had had a thousand things prepared in his head, ready to throw them at Hikaru the moment he saw him. But right here, right now, all the anger inside him suddenly evaporated.
Hikaru tensed as he approached. He looked just like Finnian felt: stressed and tired and on edge, his ever-blank face revealing a raw emotion he didn't hide fast enough. For a second Finnian had wondered what the hell he was doing here, why he wasn't in class. But looking at him, the answer dawned on him on its own.
"You did this to me," Finnian said. There was no anger in his voice. He was just tired.
Hikaru didn't answer. He wasn't even looking at him, his gaze fixed on his fidgeting hands, his body unsettlingly still.
"You know what I'm talking about," Finnian insisted. His mouth was suddenly dry, and he swallowed. "Is this how it feels to you all the time?" Hikaru made no response, and Finnian added, "The noise?"
Hikaru made no reaction. There was no sign that he'd heard him at all.
"…Hiyama?"
"Why do you ask?"
Hikaru lifted his head, his eyes flashing as they briefly met with Finnian's. "It isn't important," he said flatly. "Do you care?"
Do I…?
Finnian's thoughts stuttered to a halt. Why had he asked at all? What did he intend to do with this information? Hurt Hikaru? Use it to make his life miserable? He had already done a fine job at that, and without understanding the full consequences to boot. Then what? Why did he want to know? Why should he care what happened to Hikaru outside of the flying team?
Why should I care about the Dark Mage students getting beaten up by security? Why should I care about anything?
In the end he had no answer to any of that. He just remained silent, his eyes resting on the grass.
"I thought so," Hikaru muttered, turning away. "Leave me alone."
I'm sorry.
It would be so easy to say it, but no words came out. Finnian could only stand there, gaping like an idiot as Hikaru brushed past him, rounded the corner and disappeared.
Finnian remained alone on the empty grounds, suddenly feeling hollow inside.
Alright. Fine. He did care. He wasn't a complete monster; he had empathy, even if it had taken him weeks too long to understand what he was dealing with. And how could I have known? the sharp, vindictive part of him wondered. It's not like you ever explained it to me!
And it wasn't like he had asked, either. It wasn't like he had done anything to warrant an explanation. Why should Hikaru have told him? He'd been nothing but harsh and abrasive to him from day one.
I've…really messed it up now, haven't I?
He still didn't like Hikaru, not really. He was still frustrated by him, jealous of him. But this—this time he had taken it too far. This time, even if he'd managed to apologize, a simple sorry wouldn't have been enough anyway.
Something needed to be done. His own pride be damned.
~ ~ ~
The next morning he arrived at school extra early and waited for Hikaru at the gates.
The brand-new headphones were cool against his hand, the edges of the packaging pressing into his palm. He was getting tired of the noise again, but he resisted the urge to unpack them and put them on himself. These weren't for him. They were for making things right.
He wasn't really doing this for Hikaru's forgiveness, he knew that. Not even to get him to lift whatever enchantment he had put on Finnian's senses. It was simply the appropriate thing to do: he had broken someone else's property, so it was only fair if he had to replace it.
Which didn't mean he didn't hate every second of this.
Time crawled by. There was no sign of Hikaru. People gave him questioning glances in passing, and he scoffed back at them. With each glance the sense of humiliation grew. And yet he set his jaw and held firm.
And then, finally, Hikaru arrived.
He still wasn't wearing headphones. He didn't look at Finnian either. In fact, he seemed to actively avoid his gaze as he hurried his steps to brush past him.
Damn it. Damn it all to hell.
"Hiyama, wait!"
Hikaru hesitated, then paused.
"Here." Face burning, Finnian shoved the headphones in his direction. "I broke yours yesterday, so…I'm sorry. Let me replace them."
Hikaru's eyes landed on Finnian, then on the box with the headphones, his expression unreadable. All Finnian could tell for sure that there was no warmth in his face, no forgiveness.
It wasn't like I needed that anyway, he thought spitefully.
"I'm not asking for your forgiveness or anything," he added. "Just take them."
For a long, slow moment Hikaru held the box in his hands. Then, deliberately slowly, he pulled out his own new pair of headphones and slid it over his ears.
Then he looked Finnian dead in the eyes and dumped the box of headphones into the nearest trash can.
Finnian flinched as if he'd been slapped, no matter how much he'd told himself he didn't care. "Oh, so you've got your own, don't you?" he sneered, his throat suddenly tight. "I should've known. And you don't need a spare? In case some idiot tries to break them again?"
But Hikaru couldn't hear him anymore, and he had already walked off, leaving Finnian alone and hurt at the school gate.
Without the sting of rejection, maybe Finnian would've realized much sooner that the enchantment on him had been lifted.
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