Izuku: My cheat book, now i'll actually have to study 

Izuku: *sighs*

Izuku: I wander what kind of quirk I could fake? hmmmmmmm

Izuku: I wander if this non dangerous or suspicious eery tunnel under the bridge will give me any ideas

Izuku: What would All Might do?

Izuku: HE LAUGHS! *laughs in a slightly disturbing manner but we won't go into that

Coke villain: *puts "arm" over Izuku's mouth*

Coke villain: I AM BEGGING YOU, PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP I JUST WANT SOME GODDAMN PEACE AND QUIET DOWN HERE BUT NOOOOOOO ALL I GET ARE YOU HORNY AND FUCKED UP TEENAGERS DOING WEIRD SHIT DOWN HERE very loudy may I add AND JUST MAKE ME WANNA PUKE, LIKE I DON'T CARE IF HE CHEATED ON YOU FOR THE 9TH TIME IN A ROW LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Izuku: *still struggling*

Coke villain: AND THEN OF COURSE YOU HAVE THE DRAMA, THE TANTRUMS, the weird laughing...that might be just you though, THE SMOKING, THE DRUGS, THE SEX, LIKE PEOPLE SAY I'M A VILLAIN WHEN ALL I FUCKING WANT IS SOME FUCKING SLEEP IN THIS PLACE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

All Might: YES

Coke villain: WHY

All Might: BECAUSE I AM HERE

All Might: *poses*

Coke villain: you're shitting me right.... that's not an answer

All Might: NO SWEARING IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN ON MY WATCH!

*dramatic music*

All Might: *saves Izuku*

Izuku: ABOUT TIME 

All Might: NOW BOY THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR SAVIOUR! BACK IN MY DAY WE RESPECTED OUR ELDERS AND HEROS

Izuku: YES ALL MIGHT

Coke villian: why are they yelling so much?

All Might: NOW FOR YOU

Coke villain: What about me? 

All Might: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PUT YOU IN SO THESE DIRTY AND DISEASED RIDDENED COKE BOTTLES WILL DO THE TRICK

Coke villain: YOU MONSTER

All Might: NO NO SON, YOU ARE THE MONSTER HERE

*All might proceeds to enclose the thing in a coke bottle*

All Might: NOW SON, THAT YOU SEEM TO BE OKAY I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS THING TO THE POLICE

Izuku: ALL MIGHT I HAVE SOMETHING TO ASK OF YOU

All Might: WHAT IS IT CHAMP

Izuku: Do, Do, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

All Might: SURE

Izuku: SIGN HERE PLEASE

Izuku: *hands over marriage forms*

All Might: KID HOW BIG A SIMP ARE YOU? SIMPS WON'T MAKE IT AS HERO'S. IN THIS WORLD IT IS EITHER SIMP OR BE SIMPED

Izuku: Spoken like the true hero I knew you would be.

All Might: NOW I'M OFF

Izuku: NOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE MY DADDY DID

End of Script