Triggers: Swearing

Notes: Edited from its original hardcopy.

--o--o--o--

MONOLOGUE START, ROY'S NARRATION

Hello... My name is Roy.
How should I start?
Breathe in, breathe out... I don't really know how to tell a story in general. But the bullshit that my past made and how my life probably goes... I'm very much fucked.

Well, I guess I should start telling it anyways. But be warned for what you see. Because my story is never for the sensitive eyes, might as well get some bleach.

-o-o-o-

It was the first day of college where I met the most BEAUTIFUL angel. Even if I look left or right, it's her I see...

My paradise, my lily, my everything. She is THE prettiest girl in school. No one can change my mind, period.

She walks by me and takes a glance and she smirked. Oh how foolish I am that time. She is very cunning, and I don't know that I was falling into her trap. to be honest, she is almost like a Slytherin, minus the loyalty. She is very cunning, and I didn't knew that I was falling right into her trap.
To be honest all those traits matches a gold digger.

A waste of space that I didn't even knew yet.

Always this and that, and I was so shy that I can't even talk to her. So it is very stupid of me to just let that through. And that is how I made a mistake that got worse and how shit went down. But before all that, was my exaggerating crisis on asking her out, three weeks after the semester start. I was a stuttering mess!

And let me tell you, that was phase 1 of how will shit go down.

Bitch I'm sorry if I am not satisfying you with how my story goes.

(Indirect way of author saying, I know... this story is kinda garbage.)

As I walked through the corridor, sighing. I realized that, she really won't just be interested on looks if I have no accomplishments.

And there I was, studying for our first examination. It sucks to be honest, and it feels like my braincells are being obliterated.

Very stressing, that is all what I can say. Plus the pressure, oh don't get me started on that. But if its to impress her, it should be worth it.

±+++±

Life is sometimes a bitch, I had to admit. And I won't deny that. It really is such a heartache to have that kind of mindset. And my past self is really... Foolish at this kind of 'love', because of those experiences. I learned too much and I turned to be more distant, I also had my fair share of break-ups and I'm telling you, those we're ugly as hell. Hahahaha, it felt so awkward telling the story of your first (pathetic) love when it feels like you're dead inside. So when it comes to love...

I suck at it.

Okay let's cut it here and have a timeskip because, I really suck.

(GRADUATION BALL)

I know it was a big timeskip, but pay attention closely for this time, it's the motherfuckin' break up stage.

Yes, we are now a couple at that time (4 years dating).
Yes, I was a fool to make her my girlfriend.
And yes, it still hurts.

It was the time where me and her we're dancing across the school's ballroom. It was like an eternal bliss and I wish I never woke up.
But reality slapped me awake.

And that reality introduced itself toe as my first break up.

When she first told that she was breaking up with me, because I'm not good enough, I was thinking that she was pranking me but the second time... I was enraged...

Then that's when I snapped at her. I wanna push her off a cliff that time.

Then before she left me, she said...

"Thanks for the money..."

"... You we're just a fling anyways..."

I'm fucked up that time...

P A I N

A N G E R

R E G R E T

S A D N E S S

Those words clouded my mind for the rest of the week after my graduation ball and graduation. I screamed to the air "FUCK YOU ESTHER!!" Yes, that's her name.

I mean to be fair, I gave myself to her for FOUR years, but I didn't forget to leave some love for myself.

For the next months after finding a job, I found a new girlfriend...

Girlfriend after girlfriend...

I always broke their heart before they even break mine.

My life lesson is,

"If you make the choices, life gives you results."

And that is how I ended up as the picky, cold-hearted boss my company and colleagues know.

But I have one question...

When will I find the one?