They drop me off at home the next day and I thank them. I had a good time, all things considered. I can’t stop thinking about hitting Oliver. I don’t regret it, in fact I’m happy I did it. It was almost a relief to finally follow through, especially since it was for a good cause.

It felt like I was finally lifting something off my shoulders, something I didn’t even know was there. Still, it makes me a little queasy that I enjoyed it. Maybe since he deserved it it’s alright.

I guess the Larson situation wasn’t much different. But I don’t know Larson, and I don’t want to get in trouble for a stranger. Not that I think I’m in any trouble, Oscar and Kelly didn’t even mention it and I certainly won’t be telling my parents.

When I get home no one else is, I like having the house to myself. I decide to take a shower. Our bathroom is set up with a big mirror over the sink and countertop next to the toilet. Then there’s a medicine cabinet on the opposite wall, the shower on the farthest wall from the door. There are mirrors on either side and I do my best to avoid looking into them.

I take a pretty long shower. I usually try to make it quick but I feel like indulging today.

When I shower I don’t looking at myself, I stare at the wall in front of me or I keep my eyes closed. I don’t know why I do that.

I think about Benjamin calling me handsome. That was a weird thing to say. I force my eyes to stay on the wall.

I get out of the shower. With the window open and the fan on the steam clears in just a few minutes. I look at myself in the big mirror above the sink. The counter only comes up mid-thigh and I stare at the parts of myself I rarely see.

I feel embarrassed watching at my naked self in the mirror. I clench and unclench my fists, my reflection copies me. I take a deep breath and watch my chest expand and shrink. I think I’d like to be more muscular. I’m too skinny. I turn away from my reflection and avert my eyes from myself in the medicine cabinet mirror.

I wrap a towel around my waist and go to my room.

I don’t have any mirrors in my room.