"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!"
Lucifer yelled while trying to figure out how to read a map.
"Don't worry. I know exactly where we are." John reassured him.
"Didn't you already say that two hours ago?" I chimed in from the backseat of the car.
We had bin driving along small roads for hours by then. The last sine of civilization we had past 3 hours ago.
It had bin a small gas station that was also functioning as a curiosity museum.
The stuff there was really strange but also kinda fascinating. Lu had even bought a fiji mermade and John a map even though he insisted that he knew exactly where we were.
Lu suddenly screamed in frustration and started to rip the the map into pieces.
"I thought that someone as old as you wouldn't have a problem with reading a map." I tried to tease him.
"I don't have a problem with it! But this stupid thing is at least 50 years old and there are even towns on it that don't even exist anymore."
He then rolled down the window and started throwing the pieces out.
"Hey stop that! That's littering!" John complained from the driver's seat.
Lu turned to him and said with an raised eyebrow "Do you really think I care about that? Earth is already doomed so fuck it."
When he went back to what he was doing he mumbled to himself something about loving confetti and breadcrumbs.
With a small smile on my lips I laid down on the back seat and closed my eyes.
I just hope they don't kill each other while I take a nap.

When I woke up again it was already quite dark outside and we where still driving.
"Are we there yet?" I asked while rubbing my eyes.
"No the plan has changed." John grumbled.
"Yeah and whose fault is that?" Lu snarled back.
"It's yours!"
"How the fuck is it my fault that you have the memorie of a gold fish!"
John's hands where tightening around the wheel. "You are the devil and according to my religion you are always at fault!"
Lu starred at John in disbelief and took a deep breath.
Before Lu could go on a tirade I interrupted and said "Well doesn't that also mean that you automatically go to hell when you die?"
John seemed to be completely confused by that. "Why would I go to hell? I'm a good person."
"Well first of all you download stuff from the internet illegally and that counts as stealing."
He scoffed and said "Oh come on everybody does that!"
"Yes but it's still according to your religion theft and also when we go by there rules you definitely go to hell for the stuff you and Peter did on you birthday last year."
"It was just one time and I was really drunk!" He tried to defend himself.
Lu started laughing and put his hand on John's shoulder.
"Don't worry my friend. I can assure you that you won't go to hell for that."
John shook of Lu's hand off and then looked at me through the rearview mirror. "What's your fucking point Dave?"
"My point is that heaven would be completely empty if the rules were really as strict as people say and that Lucifer has as much to do with humanity's bad luck as I have with people dieing." I said while leaning back into my seat.
John mumbled something to himself and then sighed.
"Sorry Lu."
"Ah don't worry if I would get offended that easily, armageddon would have already happened at least two thousand years ago."
We stayed in silence until we reached a decrepit looking building with a neon sign that read 'Motel'.