Well, I am going to Mark's house. 

Wow, it so surreal that this is only our third date, and I am already so fascinated by him. I have no idea if this means I am gay or not, but I honestly don't care. 

The only thing I care about is being with him. Okay, I also worry a bit more than I should about what I should get him. I mean, if you are going to someone's house for dinner you should buy them something, shouldn't you? 

Like flowers or wine. Hm, maybe not flowers. Mark is a guy, and I am not sure if he even likes flowers. I wish I had more gay friends because I am not sure if the fact that he is gay means that he fancies flowers. 

Well, probably not.

My safest choice is to just buy him wine. Everyone enjoys a glass of wine from time to time, so I am sure he is no exception. 

I feel so nervous because we will be all alone, and we'll be able to do whatever we want. The problem is, I am not sure what I want us to do. I really like Mark, but I have never been with a guy, so I am not sure how everything works. 

Maybe I should just relax, after all, it is just Mark, everything is always great with him. Yes, everything will be just perfct.

                                                                                        *****

I am standing in front of his house, and I feel incredibly nervous. How could anyone be this anxious and excited at the same time? It's just that Mark is so incredible. I have never met anyone like him. He can be so kind and generous but also passionate and fun. 

With Mark, there is no dull moment. He manages to surprise me in every moment that we spend together. He is funny, and I don't think I have ever laughed as much as I do since the moment I met him. It's so strange. There are all these new emotions that I am feeling, emotions I didn't know I was capable of feeling. 

When I am with him, I am still me, but I am more myself than I have ever been. It's incredibly liberating and so much easier than talking with a girl. They always dissect everything I say and, in turn, often misunderstand what I want to say. I usually say what I mean, but they keep trying to find the secret meaning, but Mark has never done that. He just listens to me and never tries to read more into what I am saying. It's so great.

Wait a minute! What am I doing, standing here and thinking how great Mark is in this cold weather instead of just going in and enjoying his company? 

With that thought, I knock on the door with a shaking hand and wait for him to open the door. 

"Chris, you are here," Mark says with relief in his voice. 

"I thought you changed your mind. I am so glad you are here," Mark adds, standing there uncomfortably. 

I could see that he thought I was late because I was backing down from what we had. I feel so guilty that I keep making him worry about me, about us. 

Maybe he would worry even if I weren't a complete mess since I am officially straight. Well, we all thought I was, but I don't know anymore. 

I can see that Mark has no idea how to greet me. All his boldness seems to evaporate when faced with the possibility that I was having second thoughts. I don't know how or why, but I seem to be initiating intimacy more than I would think possible with a guy. 

Mark offers his hand to shake, but instead of shaking his hand, I use it to pull him in closer. I grab his face with my hands and look him straight in the eyes as I smile broadly. 

"It's very nice to be here," I say, hoping that he can read in my eyes how much I mean it. 

My eyes try to express what my lips can't yet say. So instead of saying anything, I lean in closer and give Mark a lingering kiss that makes me feel like everything is just perfect. 

His lips seem to fit with mine so perfectly that I can't help but think that we were made for each other. They taste like mint and the unique aroma that's Mark. 

I don't know how to describe it. It's like the taste of the ocean on a hot sunny day.

When we finally break the kiss, I am happy to see that he is smiling and breathless, just the way I like him. 

"Well, that's a relief. You had me worried for a moment there," Mark says. 

"Yeah, I noticed. Sorry, I was just standing outside psyching myself out." I admit and blush at the same time the words leave my mouth. 

"Why would you do something like that?" He asks as he slowly kisses my forehead. 

"Don't you want this?" He says, kissing my right eyelid. 

"Of course I do," I say with a trembling voice, "that is the reason I was so nervous." 

I try to explain as he kisses my left eyelid. 

"I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about," he reassures me as he kisses my cheek. 

"We'll go as slowly as you need to. It's just you and me, relax," Mark whispers as he kisses my other cheek. 

Then he moves on to the corner of my mouth, and then finally, he gives me a single lip kiss that makes me feel relaxed and shows me that he is definitely into me. 

As the kiss continues for such a long time, I have to break it to avoid being tempted to go farther than I was ready. 

"Someone promised me dinner," I say with a cheeky grin. 

"Oh, yeah, dinner, something made me forget all about the food," he winks at me as we move towards the kitchen where our meal waits for us. 

I feel all-consuming hunger, but to be honest, it is not hunger for food, but I guess food will have to be enough for now.