I can guarantee that all my colors will fade away if I spend more time under the midday sun. It's something I can't say again after Mirko's reaction the first time, but I know it without a doubt. I let out a sigh and enter the diner, looking for that perfect table in the shade while he goes to order out food. We should have gone to some other place, avins usually don't come to these human-infested places. But I love these kinds of places, and the food is delicious.

My fingers play with a napkin as I wait, crumbling it and making the pieces float in the air as if they had somewhere else to go. A bony hand catches the ones that are about to fall on the floor and I can't help but smile. He doesn't mind humans either, I actually think there's nothing capable of bothering him.

Yes, I know Mirko is the only one that can stand me and I should be grateful for it. After all, our relationship is the closest thing I've had of friendship in years. But still, it feels so... empty.

At least he's always smiling, and his smile is contagious.

"Nervous?" he asks, and I know he's trying to read my mind.

"That's not your gift, don't even try it," I say without really answering his question.

Why should I even talk about something that's so noticeable anyways? Every one of us at our age is jumpy and nervous around this time of the year. I notice a couple walking outside the diner, talking way to fast, laughing way too loud. The guy trips on a branch and fixes it right away, absentminded.

Even the humans around us are anxious! They too have their big tests inside the tall academic towers that gave me goosebumps when I was little.

My friend might be the only one who's not visible tense and I envy him. Mirko's not afraid of anything. Not all of us have been created that lucky.

"Listen, I know the ceremony is supposed to tell you your specialty and all that." He says and grabs my hand, his smile is calming. "But in the end, you are the one who chooses."

"I don't know how things were in Sub-Rosston, but here..."

"Here's different, I know." He tries to hide his accent more than usual, probably to prove a point. "I've been living here for six years, in case you have forgotten already." His voice is partially broken and I know this is the closest he'll ever be to sound irritated. I screwed up.

"Since I can remember I have always heard the older ones' talking about the tryouts," I try to explain, but feel like there's nothing I can say to fix it. "They're afraid, can't you see? Because we're becoming more and more useless".

"Now, you know you're exaggerating big time," he says and I stay quiet.

Because the thing is I really am not, and the fact that he's trying to make me feel different about it doesn't change reality. I just change the topic because this is one of those things where we have to agree to disagree. Without realizing I end up giving him monosyllabic answers. This reminds me why I don't like speaking with anyone that's can answer me, and I choose once again to stick to squirrels and birds. I might as well just turn into the princess without a castle.

Eventually, he stops trying and we end up eating in silence. I don't mind it, but I can see him hurting and it hurts me in some way. He got it coming by insisting on sitting with me again and again during Friday recitals. Yes, he should have known the colorless girl was a quiet one and she was going to stay that way.

After all, that what everyone else says when they think I can't hear them.