Maisie and Adam are still sorting out people. It’s not a continuous conversation, it’s more that the topic keeps coming back. I decide once more that it’s my best opportunity to take my mind off those negative thoughts that just won’t leave. “How am I a foggy Thursday morning?”

“Ah, glad you asked. So. Thursday morning. We have to get up extra early and we hate that, but it’s for swimming practice so it makes it all worth it. Just like you. You’re a brother so you’re annoying. But, really, I like you.”

“Hmmm… thanks, I guess. And the fog?”

“Fog is mysterious. We can’t see really far, you don’t know why or how it appears, but it’s pretty cool.”

I could linger on the fact that he called me cool for probably the first time ever. Instead, I say: “We know pretty well how fog appears.”

“Fine. Then fog is not mysterious. It’s pretentious. Whatever.”

I am about to ask how fog can be pretentious when it happens. I am not really paying attention to where we are going because we have no other choice but to follow the road. We are walking on a small path. On our right is an unclimbable mountain section, covered in trees, roots, and moss. On our left, the same but getting down – in other words, nothing. There is a wooden barrier on the right-hand side, in case anyone would be stupid enough to walk too close to the gap.

I stop and turn around to deliver my stupid question about fog when I realize that the person behind me isn’t Adam but Caleb, and he is much closer than I thought. We are about to bump into each other and my brain almost panics. Right now, it is just so important to me not to make him uncomfortable again.

So, as a reflex, I step and lean to my right to avoid him. My foot, however, doesn’t encounter ground, and I fall. Where I stood less than a second ago, there is no barrier anymore, because the path isn’t by a gap anymore, but the slope is still pretty steep.

Caleb’s hand grabs my arm but he doesn’t manage to stop my fall. I have too much momentum. Instead, I drag him down with me and we hit the ground. Then, because the slope is so sheer, we slide down. It goes really fast, and my brain registers that I might die. But the slope goes gradually milder, and we eventually stop.

How did this backfire so much? I just wanted to avoid any awkwardness and I made everything worse. First because we fell and he might be hurt, and second… he is literally lying on top of me right now, his arm wrapped around me.

“Are you okay?” he asks me, looking genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine,” I reply, and I’m pretty sure it’s not a lie. “You?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“GUYS!” Adam yells from the path. “ARE YOU OKAY?”

Caleb stands up and I can see Adam and Maisie’s heads looking down on us.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Caleb replies. “Just a few cuts and bruises, I think.”

“I’m coming to get you.”

“No, don’t. It’s very slippery. I don’t even think we should climb. We’ll try to find another way to the meeting point.”

“Okay. Maisie and I will get some help. Oh, and Liam?”

“What?”

“Do you remember when I said we should take the flat route… I’m ready for you to tell me I was right whenever you’re ready.”

Maisie looks at the map and points at something in the distance. “Guys, if you go that way, you’ll find another path. We’ll get the teachers to meet you somewhere there.”

We all agree on this plan and Adam disappears with Maisie. That’s when I realize that I’m still on the floor. Caleb helps me up and as soon as I stand, a sharp pain shoots through my ankle and I trip. Caleb’s arm wraps around me and he holds me tight while I regain my balance.

“Ouch.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I… my ankle hurts.”

“Can you walk?”

I put some weight on it. It hurts a bit, but it’s not that bad. “I think so.”

“Are you sure? You don’t want to make it worse.”

I hesitate a second but then we hear the deep rumble of a thunderstorm in the distance and it starts raining. Well… it starts pouring.

“Okay. Lean on me,” he offers.

“We don’t have to. I know it would be uncomfortable for you.”

He frowns, visibly confused. “No, it wouldn’t. Come on.”

He might actually be fine with me touching him. After all, his arm is still around me. “Okay,” I agree. “Let me know if I’m too heavy or anything.”

He smiles and rolls his eyes at me. “If I can’t walk you to the nearest path, I think I’d have to quit the team. I should be able to carry you there if it came to that.”

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” I reply with a smile.

None of us is dressed for the rain. I get wet very quickly, and therefore cold. Around us, there is only the forest. I can’t see where we were anymore. The sky is so grey that I can’t see the sun. I am completely lost. I rely entirely on Caleb. To walk and for direction. Maybe we should have stayed still.

But I start shaking, and I know it would have been worse if we were just sitting in the rain.

And then, finally, the path Maisie told us about. There is even a bench under a small shelter a few yards away. That would be the perfect place to wait for whoever Adam and Maisie are sending our way.

Caleb helps me there and then he lets go of me and sits on the other side of the bench. My side feels cold and empty. More than just literally.

After a few minutes of the two of us looking at the rain pouring in silence, he tells me:

“Liam… about before…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, really… I saw that you were offended, but…”

“Caleb, that’s fine. Trust me. You have been cooler than most with it. It’s just… it happened, you reacted the way you did, and then it became awkward, and that’s what I hate. That things just get awkward. Because I’m gay.”

“Is that what happened with Charlie?” he asks me. “Did he say something homophobic to you?”

“Maybe. It’s fine. It really wasn’t as bad as other things I’ve heard before. I’m not sure why I let it get to me that much. I’m probably just having a bad day.”

“I think you’re usually handling things really well. You’re allowed a bad day.”

“Still. I’m sorry. Adam probably dragged you to team up with us because he wanted to keep an eye on me, then I touched you and that made you uncomfortable, and to make things worse I probably was the worst company.”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No all of it. We had to split the swimmers into two different groups and I’m the one who suggested we made a group with you and Maisie. It’s easier for me to be around people I know, and I like spending time with you. Even if it’s just in the car. I wasn’t uncomfortable when you touched me. And you weren’t the worst company. But maybe I’m biased on this one.”

“I’m… not sure what you’re saying?” I’m pretty certain he is saying that he’d like us to be friends, but I’m not sure why he would want that.

Caleb is now looking at the floor, nervously twisting his fingers. “What I’m trying to say is that… I’m sorry that Charlie said something that upset you. And I understand that it sometimes gets to you. I am actually very impressed by the way you usually handle everything. It makes me think that maybe I can do it too. It makes me want to do it too. So I can go after the things I want.”

Is he coming out to me right now? “Like what?”

He still isn’t looking at me. He shrugs. “When you touched me earlier… I might have had a few butterflies.”

“You… did?”

He is now looking at me and his eyes are full of this odd mix of fear and hope. I don’t even think he is hoping that I might reciprocate his feelings, I think he just wants me to tell him that it’s going to be okay.

“I don’t know what to say…”

“It’s fine, you don’t need to answer. It’s my crush, and I know that I’m probably the last person you would look at, but… I also think that when we’re having a bad day, it sometimes helps to have a little ego boost. So I guess I wanted to tell you that. That you inspire me, that I see you more than you think, and that… I like you or something.”

“Caleb…”

But I don’t have time to say anything because we hear voices calling our names.

 ...