"You are not dead, bro?"Azu couldn't really tell if Izuki was joking or if he was being serious from the expression on his face. It seemed that he was worried about the encounter with Akira.

Well, Izuki never really was a big fan of him ; one could say he was a bit scared of him even.

"Not yet." Azu replied as he got inside Izuki's apartment and crashed into his bed. He was drained. Both mentally and physically. Fighting with Akira was never easy; it always took a toll on him. 

"He isn't gonna come here looking for you, is he?" A hint of panic flashed in Izuki's face. 
He was in a tight spot confused as to whether he should be protecting his best friend-turned-boyfriend-turned-ex-boyfriend from his current lover or if he should be protecting himself first from his best friend's alpha-gone-rogue, who probably won't think twice before attacking him for fucking his beta slash boyfriend.

"Nah. We decided to give each other some space for now. And don't worry too much about him", Azu said, seeing the obvious look of relief on Izuki's face, "If he tries to pull some shit or if he tries hurt you, I will protect you. I promise I will."

"Awww you're gonna make me cry man.", Izuki smiled and pulled Azu in a tight hug, something that Azu most definitely needed then. The separation from Akira hurt him too. 
"Wait a minute. Does he know that you are staying with me?", Izuki asked.

"I think it won't take him much time to figure that out if he goes looking for me in my house". Azu replied, not bothering to gloss over the answer. 

"Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with you staying at my place. But why can't you go back to your home if he's gonna find you anyway?" 

"No I can't do that." Azu was back to lying on the bed. "It isn't that I don't want to go but .. I don't know how to face mom." 

A sudden exhaustion took over him. Well, these days everything seemed tiring. Waking up, eating, cleaning up and sometimes, even breathing was tiring. 

"Izu, if you don't mind, can we do this later?" He didn't want to be questioned anymore. He just wanted to be left alone. 

"I think I'll go take a bath now."

"Sure, go ahead. You must be tired." Izuki was quick in reassuring Azu that it was all right. If there was one thing he learnt from all the time he spent with Azu, it was that when Azu didn't want to talk, he did not want to talk. 

 
----

He was lying down on the bathroom floor with his hands wrapped around himself. 
If it was to protect himself from something invisible or to reassure himself that he isn't alone, Azu didn't know. His legs had given up minutes after he entered the bathroom and his hands couldn't find the strength to lift his torso from the floor. He had spent almost an hour lying down on the cold floor and when Izu had come looking for him, he had shooed him away.

The tears had stopped flowing too. 

This was one of those times when everything would come crashing down on him.
Loneliness would engulf him and he would remind himself how pathetic, useless and dirty he was. 
Being around Akira, standing by him as his beta and giving his everything in duels to support him did help Azu gain a sense of self worth. But now that it was gone, he felt that his life didn't matter much.

'If I wasn't a fucking coward', Azu thought, 'I could've let you live in peace mom.' He couldn't find the courage to take his life this time either.