“Bury me shallow because I’ll be back.’’ Blake's voice echoed through my head as I sat under the old oak tree where we first met. 

It was the day after Halloween and he was dead. The police said he died from falling off the roof, but I believe that he was murdered.

I'll rewind a few hours, Blake and I were getting ready to go to Caroline's party.  He picked me up at eight and we got there at nine. At around ten Caroline and some of our friends decided to go on the roof of the party. 

Blake took me and we were doing what all teenagers do at parties, we were drinking and dancing on the roof when all of a sudden Conor yelled; “Hey Blake I dare you to jump off the roof!” I begged him not to but he did it anyway.

 He landed on his feet, then his knees, and then his hands but he was still very much alive. 

I knew he was fine and he took me home, we talked and I thought it was pretty funny that I was the only one not drunk along with Blake. 

The next day I woke up and there was loud, “Bury me shallow because I'll be back, bury me shallow because I'll be back.” It was Blakes's voice but he was nowhere to be found. I tried calling him but I got no answer. 

That’s when I was told Blake was dead. My best friend was gone. I was alone, alone as I let the words sink in.

 I fell apart as I broke down in my bathroom, and then I heard it again. “Bury me shallow because I'll be back, I'll be back Haily, I'll be back.” I thought I was crazy so I got dressed and walked to the old oak tree where I always want to talk to Blake whenever something was bothering me. 

Then I saw him in his black jeans and red shirt across the field. 

Then it echoed again “Bury me shallow because I’ll be back.” I ran towards him screaming his name but I was just getting farther away. 

I screamed for him until the tears got so heavy that I couldn't muster up the strength to say it anymore. 

He was gone and I was alone all alone, all by myself. 

I closed my eyes. 

When I opened them again I found myself standing on the edge of a bridge and right as I went to jump so I could be with Blake, something caught me behind me and grabbed me by my left wrist. 

When I looked to see who it was, it was Blake, black jeans, red t-shirt, and his beautiful black hair hoisting me back down to earth. 

But he was dead. 

I didn't know if I was going crazy or if he was here. I didn't know the difference between reality and my lucid thoughts anymore. I don't know what's happening. 

I'm crazy - I'm jumping - I'm caught - Blake's dead - Blake's alive... Connor’s a moron. 

I went back home and journaled about what happened, I knew that if I had jumped I wouldn't have died because of how low the bridge is, and how the water was the perfect length between shallow and deep. 

I didn't try to jump because I wanted to die I wanted to jump because I wanted to be with Blake and to make myself feel the excitement, or pain, or adrenaline, or fear, it would be something other than sadness, regret, anger, or sorrow.

 The next few days were alright I guess. Everyone was being nice to me because they all knew I wasn't doing too good with Blake’s supposed death. 

On Friday my mom called me downstairs and standing at the door was Blake, standing right in front of me. I jumped at him and locked him in a hug wishing that I’d never let him go and when I finally did I asked where he was, “I was out of town, I needed to disappear for a while..”

 “WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, I DROVE MYSELF CRAZY THINKING ABOUT YOU.”  I yelled as loud as I could.

 Afterwards we went to a cafe, and he explained everything to me...I just wish I could still feel the warmth of his words - like when we were alive.