Gowan stepped inside the pub. The door opened with ease and a bell rang from the as he entered. The establishment was blasting music from the speakers and some of the people were seated, while the others were standing and jamming.

The black haired male took a seat on one of the stools near the counter. He rubbed his eyes for a moment before the bartender arrived to take his order. 

After he ordered some beer, he immediately took it all down before looking down in despair. The feeling in his chest started to swell up again, which caused him to distress. “No...I don’t miss him...I don’t like boys…” He shook his head at this thought.

After a while he noticed a woman near the end of the counter staring at him. She wore red lipstick and a short sleeve dress. She just stared at Gowan and the feeling in his chest swelled up even more. “Yes...this...this is the right way I’m supposed to feel…” He thought. The woman stood up from her seat and started walking over to him.

“Yes...this is right…”

Meanwhile, Cliff is having a hard time trying to find the right direction to go and reach the pub. The rain is heavy and the wind is howling, his umbrella almost got swept away once but he held onto it with perseverance.

His sneaker’s soles are completely wet now but Cliff did not care.

 “I need to know”

“I need to know if he is alright.”

These thoughts gave Cliff the strength to continue on through the rain. After what felt like eons, he finally saw the pink neon sign that was his destination. He stood there for a bit, underneath the establishment, trying to dry his shoes and umbrella off. 

The rain started to get lighter and less hectic than before, but Cliff was still petrified by the thunder and lighting that would occasionally dance in the sky. “Please be here, oh please.” Cliff wished. 

Little did he know you need to be careful for what you wish for.

He pushed the door open. He was not ready. He was not ready for the sight that appeared itself 5 feet away from where he stood. His chest started to hurt and pools have begun to form in his eyes.

He saw Gowan with a woman. A beautiful woman.

That didn’t matter. The way they made out would still hurt the same. The way the black haired man pressed his lips on the woman and held her made Cliff wish that was him on his lap.

His heart dropped to the floor, shattered into a million tiny pieces of shrapnel and dust.

“ Why…why...not me?”

Cliff hiccuped from the amount of tears falling from his face.

“Wh-Why not me…” He said before he closed his eyes and pressed his palms on the sides of his head. He looked around and saw the people around him with smiles on their faces, painted red, he shook his head in despair.

As Gowan was making out with the woman, he finally locked eyes with the petite male who looked at him with sad puppy eyes. The heat he felt in his chest suddenly went away and got filled with another feeling.

Now this feeling...he knew it very well. It was his life-long companion that plagued him for his entire life.

Guilt.

Gowan pushed the woman slowly away. “What’s wrong, sugar?” the woman said. “This is...right? wrong?...I...don’t know…” Gowan stood up from his stool and started to walk to Cliff.

“Cliff I’m so-”

He was stopped by the sudden palm that collided with his cheek and the stinging sensation that followed.

“No...It’s...Sir Jenkins...right? haha…You’re disgusting.”

Cliff looked over at the woman and back to Gowan who was still in shock from the slap. “Do whatever you want. I’m going home.” Cliff said before turning around and walking out of the establishment trying to hold himself together.

All Gowan could do is stare as Cliff left once again. He followed Cliff who was angrily walking to his home.

“Cliff, wait! WAIT! Listen to me!”

They eventually reach the front door of Cliff’s home and Gowan notices the petite man stop just in front of the door. His shoulders are touching his ears and he could hear the sniffs and the chokes of Cliff.