"Hey, calm down", Akira told Azu, his hands still holding the other's. 

"I'm not saying that you've been only using me Azu. All I'm trying to say is that everytime you are anxious about something, instead of talking to me or someone else about it, you are always looking for ways to forget it. And most of the time you lure me into having sex to do just that. Not that I'm complaining, but I'd rather you talk it out first."

Azu let out a deep breath. 

He gently pulled his hand away as soon as Akira loosened his grip and turned around, lying on his side, facing away from him.

He rolled over to face Akira and confessed, "I don't want to lie and say I didn't have ulterior motives sometimes when I asked you to have sex with me." He kept his gaze on Akira, anxiously searching his face for any sign of anger or worse, disgust. 

"There are times when, you know,  I'd feel like crap and very .. lonely. I've told you this before but I'm really scared of you Akira. I like you so much and .. I'm afraid that you'll leave me someday. I honestly have no idea how I'd survive that. I know you've told me over and over again that you will be here, by my side but I don't know - it's never enough." He let out a sigh.

Akira picked up his hand and placed a soft kiss on it, encouraging him to go on. Today, he will listen patiently.

"I was somehow convinced, that I can make you stay with sex"- Azu blurted out. Embarassed, he lowered his eyes and was now staring at his hand that Akira was holding.

"What?!" Akira giggled. 

"You're laughing? I'm pouring my heart out here and you are fucking laughing, Akira?" Azu pulled the pillow from under Akira and hit him.

"Hey, stop!", Akira cried, still giggling. "I was just wondering where that you got that kind of confidence from.That you can make me stay with just sex" 

Azu moved closer to Akira - his face now inches away from his.

"Well I know I'm damn good at it." said Azu, in all seriousness.

"I never remember telling you anything of that sort." Akira flirted back, shifting forward, closing the distance between them.

"I don't think I need to hear it from your mouth though." Azu ran his fingers through Akira's hair. Softly grabbing a bunch, he pulled his face closer. " In fact it's very evident, Akira, from the numerous times I've made you cum with my hands and mouth and .. you know what. And not to brag, but Izu did tell me that I was awesome." 

In that instant Akira felt as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over his head. All the lust and longing he'd felt was gone. It took Azu a moment to realize that he's messed up.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. 

"Really?" Akira sounded as annoyed as he was. "Did you really have to tell me about your exploits with your ex-boyfriend now? The way you just kill the mood sometimes -",  Akira shifted away from Azu and lied down staring at the ceiling, as if he was directing all his anger at it.