I have only been on an airplane once in my entire life and it was a fucking nightmare. I was planning on flying out to see Ria perform in some big music hall in New York because she was part of a music choir at the time in her university. Toby and I were going to go together but he got held up with school. Anyways, long story short, my luggage got lost, I almost missed the flight entirely because no one ever told me you have to get there at least like two hours before your flight, a child puked all over my shoes, and I was sat next to an old man who kept complaining that the world is getting too lenient nowadays and kept ordering the crew to change his seat because he refused to spend a five hour flight next to a “homo”. I bet he just thought that because my hair is long.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. What could possibly make such a terrible trip worse? Security. Airport security can.
It was a humiliating experience that ended in me being pat down and stripped naked to be examined by a small team of security members. I’ve never felt like more of a freak than I did in that moment, with multiple pairs of judging eyes on me like I’m not just another human being. Needless to say, I took a bus back to Ohio after the show.
But no one ever told me you have to get scanned and pat down before entering a venue. I mean of course it makes sense. But my dumbass never even thought about it. So of course I’d be freaking out as Quinn and I approached the back door where security was waiting for us. My heart threatened to rip out of my throat with how hard and fast it was beating. My hands instantly got clammy and I tripped over my own shoelaces. I caught myself before I could make the situation even worse. It felt like I was swallowing blades.
“Hello,” Quinn innocently greeted the first incredibly muscular man, completely unaware of my current panic. The guard nodded at us in greeting.
“Um Kian told us to tell you that we’re here to see the band members.”
“Name and ID?” The man asked. With stiff hands I took out my license. Thank the heavens above I legally changed my name before I got my driver’s license.
“Quinn Vidal and Christopher Lodovik,” the man beside me told them. The security guard glanced at our ID’s and nodded, signaling for another man with some handheld metal detector to scan us and pat us down. Of course the man went for me first.
I held my breath as he waved the machine down my limbs and torso. As he patted me down for weapons I waited for it, that look that told me he could see right through my disguise. As he moved up my legs I felt lightheaded. Whatever you do, I told myself, don’t look at Quinn. If you do, he’ll know. He’ll see straight through you.
But the look never came. I could tell he knew. But he didn’t look at me in disgust or malice. To my surprise, the man just nodded and moved on to Quinn. Holy shit. I’m going to pass out. Is this some kind of miracle? A person who minds their own damn business?
I caught my breath and shook out my arms as Quinn got scanned. “Are you alright?” he asked as I pawed for the door with still-shaky hands. I nodded. “Fine, why?”
“Ok, nevermind then,” he responded as I swung the steel door open. We were met with a dark hallway and the faint pulsing of music through the vibrations in the wall. Quinn and I shared a look before slowly walking toward the source of the music. The door read “Divine Dead” in dry erase marker. I knocked loudly three times. It took six seconds for the door to swing wide open. And there Kian stood, dressed like the angelic rockstar he is. Actually, everyone was. Their makeup was incredibly well done and their outfits were nothing short of enviable and attention-catching. Of course, I expected nothing less from the group.
“Chris! Quinn!” Kian greeted with a grin, stepping aside to invite us in.
“Hi,” I smiled back. “Um I’m sorry about how things ended last time. I think I’ve just been really on edge and haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Hey, you’ve got nothing to worry about. It’s totally fine. Anyone would be stressed if they were in your shoes.”
“Thanks,” I muttered with a sigh of relief. Leon and Razor were on the couch, playing… chess? Owl was perched on the desk attached to a vanity mirror, staring intently into his phone. No one seemed to notice our arrival until I sat down next to Razor.
“Oh shit, hey dudes,” Leon greeted with a grin.
“Who’s winning?” I asked Ray. He grunted and moved a white pawn to the center of the board. Much to his dismay, Leon immediately countered and moved the black queen to the outer edge of the board. “Checkmate,” he announced cheekily and Razor deflated.
“I call a rematch. Fool’s Mate is a low blow.”
“Why are you guys playing chess before a show?” Quinn asked.
“Everyone has pre-show rituals,” Kian explained. “These two just like to get as competitive as they can by playing chess. It always ends with Ray’s ass getting handed to him”
“Hey,” Razor growled. “I won… that one time.”
“Not helping your argument, bud.”
“Is Owl even on this earth right now?” I wondered aloud.
“He’s just obsessed with social media. I think instagram has sucked his soul dry.” Kian rolled his eyes.
“Bold of you to assume he ever had one in the first place,” Razor sneered. Quinn sat down beside me. Even as I turned away, I felt his eyes on me. Was there something on my face?
“So, Chris, are you doing ok?” Leon asked gently. I shrugged.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you really?” Quinn asked quizzically. I begged him to shut the fuck up with a pleading look. He sighed but obliged.
“Woah when did you guys get here?” Owl asked, looking up from his screen for the first time.
“You’d make a terrible security guard,” Leon sighed.
“Good thing I’m not one.” Owl smirked as he got to his feet and stretched. I was still trying to figure out what Quinn’s current expression meant when Owl loomed over me and told me, mere inches from my face with a devilish grin, “Hello cutie.” I was way too surprised to even consider being flustered, even more so when Owl nested himself on Razor’s lap like it was a normal thing to do. I expected Ray to shove him off or scold him but all he did was mutter, “You’re heavy,” before leaning back against the sofa with his arms crossed behind his head and his eyes closed. Well, they’re all definitely comfortable with each other.
“Any rendezvous with our mystery stalker?” Owl asked with a smirk. Thankfully, we both shook our head.
“Knock on wood but I think we might have lost him,” I claimed, stretching my arms above my head.
“I sure hope so,” Quinn added, a bit unsure.
“Well, let’s not talk about that anymore.” Kian reached beside him and tossed something straight at my face. If it weren’t for Quinn’s wonderful lightning quick reflexes I would have been an absolute goner. I narrowed my eyes at the object in his hands.
“You guys drink before shows?” I asked quizzically. Kian grinned. It was that charming smile that made everyone and their mothers swoon.
“Sometimes.” Is he being playful? I felt suddenly unsure of myself and how to sit beneath that famous gaze so I shifted in my seat, snatching the beer from Quinn’s hand and opening it swiftly. Before I could even take a sip, however, Quinn’s awful lightning quick reflexes kicked in once more and he snagged the can from my hands and took a swig. Fucking twerp.
I took the can from his hands with a glare, telling him to fuck off with my eyes. I knocked back the can and ignored the fluttering in my chest with a stubbornness only I would have.
“Hey, I already claimed that one,” Quinn faked a pout.
“What, afraid of my cooties?” I shot back with a death glare. It could have been only a trick of my vision but I swear his eyes lit up with his next smile.
“Not at all,” he said low enough for only me to hear. I shoved him away from me. I bet he enjoys making fun of me.
“Have you ever been to a concert before?” Leon asked. Quinn nodded. I hesitated.
“Not exactly.”
“So we’re taking your live show virginity?” Owl perked up. Razor pinched his ear and the man on his lap winced and twisted away.
“I guess?”
“We’ll be sure to give you one hell of a show,” Kian winked. I swear my heart stopped on the spot.
“Uh y-yeah ok. I-I’ll be watching.” What the fuck, Christopher? Of course you will. Jesus. You’re embarrassing me.
Quinn snorted and I swear to all things holy if looks could kill he’d be dead a hundred times over.
“Well if you want front row seats, I suggest you get out there now. Doors are going to open in a few minutes.”
“Yes! Please get front row seats! I swear it’ll be worth it!”
“Be careful out there too. The crowd will be vicious. That’s a promise.”
“And have fun. There’s no point in making music if no one, not even yourself, will enjoy it.”
I looked back at the members of the band and then at Quinn. I’m grateful, I realized. I’m grateful to be alive right now. Even if it’s just for this moment.
“Yeah ok,” I nodded, getting to my feet.
“Just take a left through the next door and keep going straight. And tell Lucy we said hi. She’s our tour manager. She’ll be around somewhere.”
“Will do,” Quinn smiled. He led the way as I waved a brief goodbye to the band members. Something warm bit at my heart. I couldn’t tell if it was joy or guilt. Maybe it was both.
I followed my partner in crime through the door and down the dim, winding hallway. It felt like the type of place you’d get murdered in and not found for weeks. I couldn’t help but feel like a fruit fly being lured into the jaws of a venus fly trap. But my excitement wasn’t hindered by that slight concern. If anything, it spiked at the thought. What is this roadtrip doing to me?
The stage was huge up close. The whole venue was huge. And, save for the security and management team around, where the only ones. Quinn gripped my arm and broke into a sprint, headed down the steps. I yelped, dragging after him.
“First ones here!” He shouted triumphantly as our bodies slammed against the metal bars of the railing separating the pit from the stage. The look on his face was priceless, pure innocent excitement and glee. It looks like his first concert, not mine.
I shoved the back of his head forward. “If you ever make me run like that again when either my life or chastity isn’t in danger, I’m chopping your dick off.”
“Chastity?” Quinn asked me with an accusatory raised eyebrow.
“What? I could be a virgin. You don’t know that.” His look of disbelief remained on his face and I caved.
"I’m not. But I could be.”
“And I could be the Queen of England. I’m not but…”
“Shut the fuck up. I could have left your ass in Ohio. You could have been killed or made into like a sex slave or something in Mafia Man’s secret dungeon.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how horny are you right now?”
“If you don’t stop talking I will force you to.”
“Kinky.”
“Quinn,” I growled as the man laughed, all innocently of course.
On cue, people began swarming into the venue. Some stopped at the bar or the merch tables but most filed in to the pit or the VIP seats on either side of the stage. Before I knew it, the place was completely packed. I was shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers. Normally I would hate anything like that. But, at this moment, I felt exhilarated. Quinn leaned cooly on the bar and looked back at the new faces around us, probably scoping out the area for any shady people to look out for. Every concert has assholes, or so I’ve heard.
“Are you also here for the Divine Dead?” This young woman with red hair and cheek piercings on the other side of me asked.
“Uh what other bands are playing?” I asked sheepishly. She laughed, bringing a hand to her lips.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Misery in HD and Craw. Misery in HD is the opening band.”
“Oh damn I didn’t know Craw was playing tonight,” I said, surprised.
“Yeah I came to see both them and DD. Have you been to a DD concert before?”
“Nope.”
“You’re in for a wild ride, man. This is my fifth time seeing them. It never gets old.”
“Lucky,” I smiled.
“You from around here?”
“No, actually. I’m from Ohio.”
“Damn! That’s dope. I’m from just outside the city.”
“Ohio is definitely not dope. This guy can tell you.” I looked toward Quinn with a smirk. I forgot he’s not me though and isn’t actually bothered by social interaction.
“Yeah, nothing dope about it. Unless you like war stories, soybeans, daddy issues, and homophobia.” He deadpanned. I cackled.
“Bruh do you know Ohio didn’t even become an official state until like the 50’s? What a joke.”
“Sounds like you guys hate it there,” the stranger giggled.
“Absolutely,” I said at the same time Quinn said, “Yup.”
“So this must be a nice trip, right?”
“Uh… sure.”
The girl shifted her attention to the women on her left and Quinn and I were left to ourselves once more. Something about the crowd and buzzing atmosphere made me feel both vulnerable and invincible. But there was still something cold and tight sitting heavily on my chest. I couldn’t quite figure it out.
“Hey, Quinn?”
“What’s up?”
“That night we first met… why me?”
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