☄️ Asteria ☄️

It's January.

Which means a new year and the second semester has officially started. I moved back in my old house just in time for it. Though I'm lonely in this house, it's nice.

I came back...

Because there's this guy that I like, actually he's my first love. I can't remember his name for some reason but I get this feeling that I actually fell inlove with someone. I can only remember the fragments of our memories together and an old diary that my parents left before they died in a car accident, the last time that I was with him was when the both of us made a promise that we'll be together until we get old. I don't know why we got separated in the first place, why did we have to move away? I tried flipping through the pages until I got to the blank pages.

No. Nothing. 

I only saw the written description of what happened before and during the promise, the ending of the entry for that day will be left untold. I left my classroom to the clubroom while reading the description of the guy's appearance. 

"He's a gentleman, matured is the right word for it and he has a bright smile..." I said out loud while reading, I continued flipping through the pages until I bumped into someone.

I was really flustered, I panicked as I tried picking up my old diary and other things.

Flashback: During high school 

"Hey! We met again!" 

"I-I'm sorry..." 

"Make sure to open your eyes." 

"It's... My eyes are open." 

"Such a liar." 

"Then try evading this kick!" 

"It hurts please! Please stop!" 

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

End of Flashback

Why am I remembering all of those terrible things right now? "Sorry, are you okay?" I stuttered in response, "I-it's nothing. I'm the one who's at fault." 

Please... I don't want to embarrass myself anymore. I just want to live a normal life. "I-I'm pretty sure my eyes are open. I didn't do this on purpose." I mumbled while panicking. 

Bad memories came back. Rather than recalling, there's no way that I could forget those moments for even a second. "You're not the one at fault, Ae-ae." a familiar voice said, I slowly looked up and I felt as if my whole world stopped. "It's been awhile, Aster. We're in the same school before."

Cyrus.

My whole body started trembling nonstop. I scrambled to get away from him as far away as possible "WAAH!!" I know he'll think I'm weird by making those reactions but...

Cyrus.

I continued running I didn't even realized that I forgot to grab my things. My mind was blank, the only thing that I knew is that I have to get far away from that place as-soon-as-possible.

IT'S CYRUS.

I haven't met him since highschool. I let my guard down. I thought as my hand clenched in order to cover my mouth, I'm completely shocked. I wanted to throw up.

Flashback: During high school 

"What's with those eyes? Disgusting!"

Flashbacks from when the moment our relationship ended came flooding back.

"Don't ever look at me with those eyes!"

End of Flashback 

~ ☄️ ~

"Eh? You won't join any clubs Cyrus?" the blonde girl asked. "I joined an English club. The seniors there are friendly."

"I could also give you some of the past exam question collection." the girl with short hair said. But Cyrus remained silent, he's only staring at me. Those same eyes that stared down at me as I sunk down on my demise. 

"Asteria?"

Ugh! They said my name. 

"....." I flinched when he called my name. "What's wrong with you? Ignoring us! Such a bad attitude." the blonde girl who's right beside me said while glaring at me. "Isn't she just asleep?" the girl with a short hair said.

I pretended to stretch and yawn, as if I had just woken up from a nap. "See?" the short-haired girl added.

Cyrus is still the same. Even during our junior high days* he didn't changed. He is smart and cool. He's popular towards girls and guys really trust him. To think that he is also kind enough to me. 

*junior high (Philippines) or lower secondary school (Japan) and high school (America)

*they're 15 years old (Aster) and 18 (Cyrus) during this time period by the way.

At first.

That dark memory of ours returned again. 

There are people who are already making fun of me just to confirm whether my eyes are open or not.

But since I still have a few friends, I was able to cope up. 

Not until Cyrus also started to bully me. The whole class also followed along, bullying me.

Until I finished my middle school, I decided to change schools at my grandfather's place at Daet Camarines Norte, Bicol.

It can't be helped if we're in the same class but why are we sitting near each other?

Is he going to bully me?

I held my churning stomach, nervous about what will happen.

I don't want to see him. Ever.

~☄️~

I skipped class.

I fiddled with my phone as I stared into the screen of the camera, I focused it into the door until I suddenly heard it click, indicating that someone's entering the room.

The door opened and I saw Cyrus, who's about to enter the room. "Ae-ae."

I sprang up from my seat in surprise.

It's Cyrus!

I quickly grabbed my bag and ran towards the opened door. I was about to leave the room but he suddenly blocked my way with his right arm and pulled me towards him, I lost my balance and that's why we both fell onto the floor.

CRASH

My face crashed right onto his sturdy abs area. "SO-SO-SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!" I stuttered. 

It's all over.

My eyes started welling up.

I'll be bullied again.

"Ae. The task."

"Eh?"

"The task for today came out. Here." he said with a calm face. "Also, your things."

He gave me the handouts and my the things that I dropped when I bumped into him earlier. "Ah thanks..."

Did he only came just to give these to me?

He didn't say another word, he just stared at me which made me feel really awkward honestly.

Isn't he going home yet?

"This... This saved me." I started, "We don't have any new member." Ahhh. Stop. Just stop. Don't say another word. "Also, I'm the only first hear here."

"This is a photography club right?" he said "Nowadays, it's becoming popular isn't it?"

"This is just a photography-research club. It's not as stylish compared to other clubs."

"Ae, do you like taking photos?" I looked down on my phone, rather flustered by what he just said "it isn't in a level of serious vigor." Is this bullying? "Just taking pictures using my phone."

Since I'm afraid of being watched by someone.

It feels like I'm allowed to see something through a camera lens without anyone restraining me.

That's why I took a lot of pictures.

Just like before, it's not like anyone can see it. And eventually, taking pictures became a habit.

"Can I join?" he said as he looked around the room "Your club, I mean."

"EH? WHY?"

"It looks fun" he answered back, smiling.

If I could look at myself in the mirror I know that my face became pale, my whole body drained of life.

Right now, I have no idea what Cyrus' planning.

"Ae." I was surprised when I found out that he was right beside me. "What kind of pictures do you usually take?"

I moved away from him while hiding my phone from him in order to prevent him from seeing the pictures that I took. "It's... It's nothing interesting." I said weakly.

"I don't mind." he said in a genuine yet straight face "Since I want to know more about you."

I blushed at what he said I don't want to let him see it but I just obliged. "Ah. That's the sea near our school."

"Y-yeah." I answered weakly. "It still looks pretty after all these years."

I just awkwardly fiddled with the hem of my skirt as he just stared at the picture. "It's really hard to get since it's always crowded with people."

"THAT'S RIGHT!!!" I suddenly shouted it made me panic, that's why I shrunk back flustered yet again by my own stupidity.

"I see." he ignored the embarrassing thing that I just did and moved closer as he looked on the phone of my screen. "So this is what you like." 

I blushed. 

It's like nothing happened in the past.

Maybe Cyrus already changed.

~☄️~

I... 

I got it!

I bought the limited edition strawberry cake. 

To Cyrus... 

I'm going to share this with Cyrus. 

Excitedly, I ran as fast as I can to our classroom and saw him talking with a group of popular people. I remained silent as I watched them from the door. 

"Wh... Such a flashy--" 

"Hey Cyrus." one of them said, "Why did you joined that club?" I felt as if my whole world stopped, I can only hear the loud beating of my heart. 

.... 

"With just Asteria." 

"It's really boring don't you think?" 

"She is gloomy." 

"Well, her face is funny though." 

"But with you two, you really don't match each other." 

.....

.... 

... 

.. 

.

Ah, as expected. He's either planning to bully me or he's pitying me. 

"It's fun." he slumped his backpack on his shoulder "That's why I want to be with her."

My eyes opened wide at this, surprised at what he said. 

"HAHAHA! Serves you right! You are obviously aiming at Cyrus!"

"And then backstabbing someone."

"Wha-what's with you?" the girl replied embarrassed. 

My heart started beating loudly as I leaned my back against the cold wall. 

Badump badump badump

"Then, I'll be going." 

!!! 

I left in panic, running down the hallways while blushing furiously I covered my mouth with the back of my hand as I tried my best to hide my smile. 

Did Cyrus really changed? 

Will he no longer be cruel to me? 

I entered our clubroom and closed it. I collapsed on the floor and hid my face in between my legs trying to catch my breath and sorting out my thoughts.

If that's the case, then I... 

I'll... 

~☄️~

"Ah." I heard Cyrus say as he saw me eating the cake that I purchased earlier. "You bought it." 

"Ye--yeah." I answered awkwardly, the spoon still on my mouth. "Good for you, Ae." he said with a kind close-eyed smile. 

I blushed and lowered my gaze to the cake. "Do... You want to have some?" still avoiding his eyes. 

"Eh?" he looked quite surprised. "Is it okay?"

"Yes" I said flustered. He took a small piece of the cake using the same spoon that I used (AAAHHH) "Ah!~" he said turning towards me.

Could it be that this is a new way of harassment for him?

He flashed me a smile then moved closer to me. "Here." I blushed.

"Cyrus, you really changed." I absent-mindedly said to him. "Is that so?" the spoon moved closer towards my mouth as I opened my mouth slowly to accept the cake. I was focused on the cake that I didn't notice the small smile that crept on the corners of his mouth.

Yummy!

I blushed and teared a little bit after the taste of the cake invaded my mouth.

It's really delicious.

I was taken aback when he wiped the corner of my mouth to remove the crumbs and icing with his thumb and licked it. "You are right."

Maybe, Cyrus no longer remembers...

... The time when he bullied me before.

~☄️~

"Shall we?" he said after a while when we finished the cake. We started walking out towards the school gates.

In the first place, there's no sense of bullying from him.

It's understandable that there are some people who don't like eating those type of food.

If someone is in a bad mood, it's inevitable for someone to be cruel.

Also, during that time we were still kids...

In the first place, Cyrus didn't plot the bullying.

It just so happened, that due to Cyrus' big influence that the others also followed through.

There are some who will not let me off.

But there are times for the latter.

Which I was grateful.

We stopped in front of the big fountain in town as he turned to say, "See you tomorrow."

Which means, there's still a chance for the two of us to become friends again. I stared at his broad back as he slowly disappeared into the crowd.

Ah! The notes he lent me! We have class tomorrow.

I tried my very best to squeeze through in between the people. 

What should I do? He's already too far. 

Should I give it back to him before class? 

If it's Cyrus surely he won't min--

"CY--" I took a deep breath then shouted at the top of my lungs "CYRUS!" I shouted while waving his notebook above my head.

He turned around and I tried to squeeze myself through the tight crowd as I tried to reach him. "Ex-- excuse me let me through." 

I felt like I was being squashed and I couldn't breathe. "Wa-- waah!" I felt someone grab my hand and pulled me towards them, I landed right into their chest as he caught me in his arms.

I gasped for air as I held his arms tightly. "Haa. Haa."

"Tha-- Thanks Cyrus" I said still gasping for air as I placed my hands on my legs for support. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

I placed the notes right in front of him. "The notes? You can give it back tomorrow."

I raised my head to look at him while smiling "I also thought of that but... It's already with me" I said still trying to catch my breath while sweating profusely. He just looked at me, dumbfounded.

I started walking away from him but I never broke eye contact with him. "Sorry for calling you out infront of the crowd." I said rather embarrassed but he just looked at me absent-mindedly "Bye."

"...Like you." he said as he grabbed my arm. "I like you, Asteria." I stared at him in shock which made me blink twice. "Go out with me." 

. 

. 

. 

. 

!!! 

I didn't know how to react, it's like I became deaf for a moment and the whole world's moving in slow motion and when I came to I realised that a lot of people is already staring at us. I grabbed his arm and pulled him away.

" Wa-- wait! Let's change places" we arrived at the small park, not far from the fountain. I let go of his arm but I couldn't gather the courage to look at him straight in the eyes I felt my face getting hotter every second that I spent with him. 

"Do you have someone you like?" he asked me but I still couldn't look at him. "O--of course there's no one!"

I tried calming myself down by taking small deep breaths and reciting all of the chemical elements on the Periodic Table of Elements. 

"Then it's fine, right?" he asked which took me by surprise yet again. "OF COURSE NOT!" I shouted while feeling embarrassed.

Going out...

Going out... Do you mean...

"Are..." he started, "Are you disgusted with me?" I spun around and looked at him straight in the eyes "THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!"

I blushed. The silence overtaking the both of us. "I also thought that's what you're going to say." 

He gently held my hand "Ae." he said in his soft voice. "I like you." 

...!

"I want to go out with you."

I was shocked when he suddenly hugged me while his head rested on my shoulder. "Ae" he whispered in my ear. "Asteria." 

I didn't know what to do at that time but it was getting hard to breathe my heartbeat getting quicker every second that passes by as he held me tightly in his arms. 

I don't... 

His arms around me... 

I don't know how to shake them off. 

"I'll--" I took a deep breath and placed my palm onto his chest and looked at the stony ground as I yelled in embarrassment "Fine! I'll go out with you!"

"I'll go out with you! So let go already."

He hugged me tighter than before.

"Thank goodness."

Haa haa

I breathe heavily.

Ahh... I can't take it. My heart feels like it's going to explode.

"Cy-- Cyrus, I... I need to go home." but he whispered in reply, "I don't want to let go."

He lets go of the hug then looked at me flustered.

To be continued.

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