The following Monday, neither boy is looking forward to their lunch practice. Theo is already sitting at his table alone when Julian finds him, sitting in a seat across from him rather than right next to. Jessica is nowhere to be seen.

“Hey,” Julian says.

“Hi.”

“Um… are you doing okay? You weren’t very talkative in the group chat this weekend.”

“I’m fine,” Theo responds shortly, not looking up from his sandwich that is tangled in plastic cling wrap.

“Okay, that’s good to hear,” Julian matches Theo’s tone. “Would you like to start from the first scene of act two?”

Theo doesn’t respond for a few moments, focusing intently on finding the edge of the plastic wrap in order to free his sandwich. Eventually, he sets it down on the table and surprises Julian by looking him right in the eye.

“I’m being weird again, aren’t I.”

He says it as a statement, not a question.

“Maybe a little bit.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

“Is it because of Friday?”

The way Julian refers to the incident makes it sound smaller than how it felt in Theo’s head. “Yeah, plus some other stuff. Family stuff,” he replies gruffly, hoping Julian won’t ask him any more questions.

“Oh. Do you want to talk about it?” Julian asks.

Yes. Theo really wants to talk about it, but not with him. Not with anybody. He wants to shout his feelings to the universe in hopes that it will hear him and give him an answer as to why he feels this way. But he can’t trust anybody with the thoughts in his head.

“I don’t think so. Thank you, though.”

“Okay.”

They sit in silence. The loud atmosphere of the cafeteria doesn’t drown out the awkward tension between them. Theo wishes he were better with his words. He doesn’t want Julian to think that he did something wrong. He was only doing what the director told him to. It was Theo’s fault for making things weird, back then and now. Why does he always have to make things feel weird when it’s so much more fun to just be himself with Julian?

“Um… you were really good in the scene. On Friday,” Theo says. In his experience, compliments tend to make Jessica feel more comfortable when she’s mad at him.

“Ah, thanks. One of the perks of having such a flamboyant demeanor,” Julian tries to joke.

“What do you mean?”

Julian gives Theo a surprised look. “Well, I’m just so… gay… I’ve been told that I’m basically a woman.”

Theo straightens up at this. “Who told you that?” he demands, a new edge in his voice that catches Julian off guard.

“Just a director, from one of the middle schools I went to. He wouldn’t cast me in any lead roles because I was too… feminine.”

Theo curls his hands into a fist, similarly to the way his mother does when trying to control her temper. He looks around the cafeteria for somewhere to place his sudden anger but doesn’t come up with anything.

“That’s bullshit.”

“Wh-what? What do you-”

“What your director said. It’s bullshit.”

Julian is surprised by the sudden passion in Theo’s words. Just moments ago, he could hardly mumble his responses, but now he looks ready to go tell off the former director in question.

“Thanks. I just meant that I’m not great at playing it straight,” Julian says.

“What the hell does that even mean? Play it straight? What does a straight person act like?”

“I don’t know… macho, I guess? ‘Fuck bitches, get money,’ that type of deal?” Julian offers.

“Straight people aren’t just one specific thing. You were amazing in the scene on Friday because you’re an amazing actor, not because you’re gay.”

Julian feels his face heat at the genuine compliment.

“And I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that not all gay people are one specific thing either! That’s why there’s a plus in LGBT+. There’s a plus because there’s too many things to list!” Theo says loudly, almost shouting. “So that’s bullshit. You can ‘play it straight.’ You can ‘play it gay,’ or femininely, or masculinely, or any other way you want. Because being called feminine should not be a demeaning thing. You’re talented, and passionate, and kind, and that’s all that matters.”

Julian is overwhelmed by Theo’s sudden passion. Since when did he become so poetic? Just a few weeks ago, he didn’t know how to respond when Julian came out to him after the first rehearsal. Maybe he had done some research in the meantime.

Feeling like he made his point, Theo settles down to attempt unwrapping his sandwich once again. He tries to ignore the heat of his cheeks as he focuses solely on his task. He really hadn’t meant to get so loud about that.

“Thank you, Theo,” Julian says, reaching over the table to place a hand on top of his. “It means a lot.”

Theo looks at him for half a second, just long enough to see that Julian was blushing just as much as he was. Needless to say, they didn’t get much rehearsing done during lunch.

~~~

“Do you not agree that we have something special here? Something worth fighting for?” Elena says. She is back from her impromptu trip to New York with a new zest for performing.

“I do agree,” Theo responds. Even with Elena’s extra energy kick, the scene doesn’t feel the same way it did on Friday.

“Then why are you fighting so hard against this? Against us?” she asks in earnest.

“If I knew, I would stop fighting, wouldn’t I?” he says in a hushed tone. This is it. The stage kiss is coming up fast.

“We’re on the same side. Love is a team effort. I can’t give you my all if you can’t give yourself right back. So tell me, Rowan… can you meet me halfway?” Elena asks, twining her fingers with his.

His heart doesn’t stop. It doesn’t even skip. He feels totally regular, as if he’s holding hands with a friend. Elena cups his cheek with her hand, placing her thumb over his lips. She leans in and kisses her own thumb, but Theo feels nothing.

Why didn’t his brain short circuit? He was so affected by Julian’s stage kiss that he could hardly function for the rest of the night. He had thought that maybe he was just nervous from being so close to another person in a romantic way. He does have a girlfriend, after all. And he had been a little twitchy when he and Elena did the stage kiss for the first time, but it was nothing compared to how he felt on Friday.

Now, after doing the kiss with Elena again and being able to compare his two scene partners, he couldn’t figure out why his heart hammered when it was Julian.

Or maybe he had already figured it out. Maybe he just didn’t want to think about it.

“Rowan… can you meet me halfway?” Elena’s voice cuts in to disturb his thoughts. He picked up where they left off without issue.

“I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can give myself away like that. I don’t know… if I can trust you,” he says. Elena steps back to collect her prop belongings and finish the scene.

“Goodbye, Rowan,” she says, turning her back on him to leave their makeshift stage. The girls applaud as the scene finishes, though not with as much rigor as they had on Friday. Theo doesn’t bother wondering why.

“Good work today, ladies and gents,” Mrs. Reba says, standing from her desk chair. “Now, tomorrow we can start working through act two. We won’t be revisiting this act until later, when we put the two together. Do NOT forget these lines, you hear me ladies?”

The girls murmur a few “yes, ma’am’s” before Mrs. Reba continues.

“Alright, good. Elena, your dad will be coming in next week to take measurements for the set pieces, correct?”

“Yes, ma’am!” she responds. “I’ll double check with him which days specifically he’ll be coming.”

“Good, good, good,” Mrs. Reba says. She flips through her yellow notepad to check if there is anything else she needs to announce. “I think with that, you all are dismissed. See you tomorrow.”

The girls stack the chairs and put the desks back where they belong. They stand in their usual huddle by the door, chatting about what the day’s evening activities will be.

“Well, Julian and I are going to the park to work on some of my music,” Theo hears Elena say. “Do any of you want to come with? I just love feedback.”

The girls discuss amongst themselves, ultimately making other plans to leave Julian and Elena to work alone, then walk out to the parking lot together. Through the auditorium’s double doors, Theo notices a certain red-haired dancer sitting on a bench waiting for him.

“Jess?” he says as he approaches. Her head swivels around at the sound of his voice and she flashes him a smile. “Did we have plans today that I forgot about?”

“Nope!” she says, standing quickly. “I just missed you this weekend.”

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him passionately, either unaware or unbothered by their captive audience. Tracy clears her throat loudly, catching Jessica’s attention.

“Oh, hi!” she says with an upbeat tone, leaving Theo dazed by her sudden kiss. “Theo, you haven’t introduced me to all your drama friends.”

“Huh? Oh, right… This is Elena, Tina, Val, Tracy, Susan, Quinn, and, uh, Julian,” he says, gesturing to each person as he introduces them. “Everybody, this is Jess… my girlfriend.”

Theo notices the puzzled expressions of his friends. All except Julian look surprised by Jess and her energy. He would be offended by their baffled stares, but even Theo had to admit she is acting highly unusual today. On the other hand, Julian just looks sad, almost bitter, looking at anything and everything other than the girl clinging to Theo’s arm.

“Lovely to meet you!” Elena says in an upbeat tone that rivals Jessica’s, holding out her hand to shake. “We’ve heard so much about you.”

“And I, you,” Jess says, shaking Elena’s hand with a limp wrist. “Babe, do you want to grab a bite to eat? I’m starving.”

“Sure thing,” he says, picking up her duffel bag for her. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

The girls shout exuberant goodbyes to Theo and Jess before turning to each other to whisper gossip back and forth. Julian simply stares at the couple as they disappear into Theo’s SUV, a twinge of sadness and something like jealousy stirring in his heart.